Do you remember?

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Do you remember?

Before the big bloggers, the sponsors, the adverts and the competitive edge of Pinterest perfectionism there was a community of friendly bloggers. It was a place where we found connection with others who were walking a similar path to our own. It was a place we could find friendship with people who had similar interests, and it was a place where there weren’t any trolls. Sitting down to write a post was as easy as writing an email to a friend.

I miss those days. I miss those bloggers.

Yesterday I was reminded of just how much I loved the blogosphere when a friend/author and fellow blogger posted me this link of a list from 2012.

21 Exceptionally Valuable Asperger’s Sites

I’m on that list, I’m number 7. 🙂
When seeing the list I actually cried and struggled to process. A lot of my Autism blogger friends no longer write and who I was, how I wrote back in 2012 holds a special place in my heart that I miss deeply. I also felt that I have let slip away a special interest and the joy of writing because of worrying too much about what other people think of me.

I got a message from a lady I met last week, her message was just what I needed to read. The message said, ” Thank you Lisa, I’ve learnt so much about myself from you xXx” (This was from a lady who suspects she has Aspergers.)

It made me think a lot, it made me ponder to why I had stopped writing and it made me feel deeply for other females undiagnosed in their 40’s who are still trying to find a way to fit. Then I went to find one of my most helpful posts that I read a lot when I struggle to remember why I feel so alien and why I constantly get so hurt.

I’m not ashamed of my Aspie traits.
Knowing I have Aspergers answers all the questions that have bogged my life. It’s just that it’s a lot easier to pretend to be NT and hide my feelings so no one else can hurt me. I can’t help but feel that hiding isn’t the answer and that I can push past the fear if I press into my faith.

****************************************************************

This is who I am…

(Post from 2012)

SPD,EFD,OCD & all that jazz!

I paced around my house this morning, talking to myself. Motivating myself to actually sit at my pc and write. I know when I need to write because I can find a thousand other creative things to do with my hands but my mind keeps speaking and looping on the words.

Writing for me is part of my process, a part of my healing from past hurts. It is also a way for me to move forward. Writing is my deliverer from

EFD (Executive Function Disorder)

SPD (Sensory Processing Disorder)

OCD (Obsessive Compulsive Disorder)

All these “disorders” but still I keep going!

I have found my own way, it takes me longer and I might seem to get stuck at times or repeat myself, but I will get there eventually. What my brain cannot execute in the neurotypical way, my reflective reviews, journaling, ANT’s charts and blogging will help me sort through the fluff and confusion. I find the backbone, the root and the will.

Writing helps me to find my confidence in a world where I am constantly trying to learn an ever changing language. Favoured items are static they are easy to comprehend and automatically will gain trust and care. Animals can be studied and act in a predictable way most of the time with a need for self care. People are constantly changing they are unpredictable and fascinating. Change can cause me major insecurity, anxiety and even paranoia when I am not focused on helping myself but allowing myself to just drift along.

Sharing is like my accountability, it’s like me opening up a covenant I make with myself. In my openness and honesty I can no-longer keep making excuses and finding ways out.

A way out of what?

Honestly…I’m still coming to terms with not being able to fit!

That’s right, I’m still coming to terms with not being able to fit! It is so much easier to take my stroppy teenage view and think that people are just plan nasty. But I don’t believe they are, I know that there are a lot of lovely people in this world. Growing up undiagnosed without any early intervention has caused me deep scars. I will not let my past define who I am today, or who I am growing into tomorrow.

I document me because my process might help another

I went to see a psychologist a few weeks ago and the main thing I took away from this meeting was how deeply I hurt from always feeling socially isolated. Growing up always being the onlooker that would have loved to have had just one true friend. To have always been seeking deep and loyal friendship but never understood why I got left out. I now have to fight the mental scar of never really feeling that I am acceptable.

I have wonderful online friendships

They are with the most beautiful and loving people and I am so very grateful for each and every one of them. However in my everyday life I have surface level acquaintanceships where I can never really be myself. I still wear the mask.

I know how to look like I fit

I can look like I fit that well no-one even notices how much I am struggling. I found my own way of hiding in the mass, I’m the quiet observer that speaks when spoken to. I have lots of personas I can use for different environments. They are all so very well rehearsed within the loops and replays predicted in my mind. When in unfamiliar circumstances I pass as shy with a touch of eccentric, but that is not who I truly am. Truth being told being part of the social norm means I am forever treading water, swimming against the current, feeling out of my depth and it is so mentally draining and such bloody hard work.

My shutdowns have become a place of comfort

Within a shutdown I can block out everything, everyone and every thought. I know in this place that I can also block out me as I take a step away.

Over the years I have learned to switch off me so that I can focus on others and show the empathy, sympathy that I have been told I don’t understand. I have learned to take on another’s pain and carry it inside as to not be uncaring. SPD makes sure I feel it too. I didn’t realise that for most people it doesn’t physically hurt when they cry. I didn’t cry for many years when I shut out and shutdown to people. I can understand feelings, I have my understanding of empathy and I feel pain for others within me. I have always understood and I have always felt but I had to learn to show and express in the appropriate way. I have learned to show social kindness to others by being unkind to me.

I can forget to switch me back on

I then lose myself in the maze of life and the passion of people puzzles. My brain loves puzzles, my brain loves finding answers, my heart wants to love and feel loved. People are not puzzles and trying to help is not always what is needed. This is not logical in my mind but I learned to not speak and just to show a certain facial expression I learned from watching my Mom.

I get so busy pleasing others, being who I think they want me to be, that I simply forget to be me. I need to remember to find grounding. I need to remember to return to self. I need to remember that I am worth knowing. I need to remember that I am a unique and loving individual. I need to remember to find my safe place. My Mom was my safe place and without her I can feel very lost. I can find comfort and safety within my faith most of the time. I can also find my safe place when I find me again within my special interests.

What stops me?

I’m still coming to terms with being a dyslexic aspergic geek!

So this is my next step

I need to let the geek out, I need to let me be me.

Face to face female friendships are so socially confusing for me. My geeky intensity and passion for interest is avoided by most NT women. I totally get this and that’s why I don’t let me out very often. When I do I have a wonderful time just being myself.

Let’s face fact though, Aspie women are good at hiding, we are excellent actresses. We learn how to fit or not be seen. When we do get real and some polite person chats and makes us feel accepted, we get excited and forget to hold back a little, we think we have found a friend and can’t wait to see them again. Then we are avoided and the pain we feel from rejection brings back every foul memory from every negative loop we have.

We don’t do the chit chat well. We tend to be too honest and open. We take the conversation to a level that stimulates our own mind without realising we make others uncomfortable. I mean who really wants to get deep and intense about …(insert your own special interests here)… writing, poetry, art, spirituality, ASD’s, animals, fishes, quotes, images, blogging, fantasy and trees.

I find companionship within the blogosphere and I LOVE it

One thing I don’t have is face to face communication with like minded friends.

For any future friends this is who I am.

  • I need to feel accepted and loved for just being me.
  • I need friends who understand I can’t always maintain eye contact but it doesn’t mean I’m not interested.
  • I sometimes need to be intense, it’s how my mind stays focused.
  • I will drift off into daydreams and tangent thoughts but it doesn’t mean I’m not listening.
  • I sometimes just need to be quiet and I need you to be quiet with me while I think.
  • Just because I stop talking doesn’t mean I have finished expressing.
  • I want to be a good friend, I will think of your needs more than my own at times which can make me somewhat annoying.
  • I can get very insecure and feel my ways have hurt you, I fear rejection so I over compensate by being too open and over loving.
  • I am honest and I care deeply
  • I look for what is good in a person but I can be rather naive and gullible.
  • I can be very silly and giggley at times, in these times I may seem insensitive to your needs so I need you to tell me if you need me to be sensible.
  • I won’t just pick up on your feelings by looking at your face.
  • I need to be able to trust, without trust I can’t function within friendship.

I know that God will help me find a way forward. I’m just sharing as I process.

Love and hugs. xx 🙂

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I am enough

I am enough

by Alienhippy

Gentle guide and lover of my soul, with you I need no other.

In you I see a reflection, a growing of spirit.

You are my strength, you nurture me from within.

Only you can quench my undying thirst.

~

Hidden warmth, a refreshing breath.

I sense your lips of truth.

Giving me rest when all I am is spinning in confusion.

Patiently you wait for me and spur me on in whispers.

~

You are there when I awaken from my darkness.

In my own time, through your love, I am given new direction.

No fear as I look to you, I know you walk at my side.

Safe and secure in your arms the battle is won.

~

Your fruit, your streams refresh my soul.

I long for you alone.

Your tender hand lifts my downcast gaze, restoring my dream.

With the mountain’s peak, my heart will grasp new blessings.

~

Bursting forth an overflow from your unconditional love.

This beauty that chases me, I have no hiding place from it.

I cannot escape for you created my ways.

You meet me in my silence and comfort me in my torment.

~

One way remains.

To step into the treasured place that is your heart, my home.

To know the depth of your love, accepting that I am enough.

The social roundabout

Aspie women

The Social Roundabout

by Alienhippy

Fed-up of being fobbed off

On this social roundabout

Avoidance and the little white lies

Turns my head inside out

~

Chit chat surface crap

The dance I cannot see

I NEED some validation

Lacking cognitive empathy

~

I feel too deep, can’t process change

I NEED a role to rearrange

So I can fit, new depths uncover

Just be myself and not hurt another.

“Cognitive empathy” The inability to predict other’s thoughts and intentions including the ability to “read between the lines” during communication. ~The Aspie Coach

Dear Aspie who chooses love,

Dear Aspie who chooses love,

I know of a process that will help you move through the pain of your past scars. God is so good how He plans all this for us. I hate the crying though, the pain of releasing tears after so many years of trying not to feel. But it’s good for us to see how deeply we sense these things. The tears bring us healing and show just how vulnerable we are. Also just how much we need our Heavenly Father.

I do believe you have fallen in love with heart, spirit, gentleness, kindness, hope and a dream. It’s good to dream. We all need our safe places. However you may have done the classic aspie thing (just as I have done) looped in that fantasy and added plenty more loveliness to it. All our daydreams from all our years of waiting, longing and yearning. All our time alone replaying our happy loops over and over and reliving our smiles. Just wanting the aloneness to cease.

Now it’s time to transcend into loving the reality in all its glorious humanity, earthliness and beautiful vulnerability. It is time to be who you are created to be, a giver and receiver of love.

I must warn you…this bit can be quite a challenge. Pray for your heart to be open and loving, your motives pure and your mind to be at peace because the tears will now slow down. The loops will change and the seeds of self doubt will cause you to meltdown, shutdown, isolate yourself or run away before the pain and fear returns. This is the bit about self-control, unconditional love, feeling another’s pain, loving them through it and only ever wanting them to thrive.

Put away your ways of want, regain your childlike heart of hope, live in joy and freedom.

Your dream may never come to be. Others may never be able to see the depth of wonder you have peceived within, or grasp the intensity, emotion or passion. But the vision will always be yours and will help you to see past negativity. You will also grow through weaknesses and emotional pain. Renewed heart seeking only the beauty of the ones you love as they reflect in you and you in them.

God has amazing plans for you precious one. You are such a wonderous light. You can not stay hidden. Yes, you need to be on a hill sharing your shining beauty. Give hope to all those who cross your path. You are healing and will bring relief to others. A beacon of hope, chosen to shine truth and love to all.

I see you, I see Jesus in you and you are loved unconditionally.

So keep being you!

 Quote from Back Towards Light

Here’s to the people who try their hardest to be good enough for everyone; who spend hours reading random quotes to find the right one; who listen to the same song dozens of times because the lyrics mean a lot; who deserve so much more than they get and are willing to fight for it and those who wished upon a shooting star, wasted on someone that will never care; and to the beautiful people who feel lonely in their heart. And hide it all with a smile on their faces.

It’s okay to feel sad, anxious or afraid at times.
It is just a phase in your Life, and no matter how scary it might feel – it WILL pass.
Everything will happen in its right time, the way its meant to be – Even better than you might have dreamed of.
Never let anyone judge you for feeling this way.Have Faith – Hold on and be Strong.
Miracles Happen. Every day.Beautiful Hearts – You are Loved.
And you are Never alone. ♥

Sometimes an Aspie has to babble.

Sometimes an Aspie has to babble

1. Sometimes I feel like, “Why do I bother?” Like today I feel stuck, I can’t get the words out of my head. No matter how I try I just feel like anything I write as a post will be cringe worthy.

2. Sometimes I just have to stop, I have to stop reading I have to stop trying to be friendly with people because the more I see of human nature the more I love my dogs.

3. Sometimes I have to just hide, I have to get my paints and play with colours and pretend that my bubble is the only place that exists.

4. Sometimes I have to just be with only those I love and those I know are trustworthy because everyone else is too confusing. Everyone else makes me want to go to sleep and not hear their true selves in my mind.

5. Sometimes I wish that people would just be honest, would just be truthful . I can’t filter when a person lies to me and it affects me for days as my mind loops on it trying to make sense out of nonsense.

6. Sometimes I would just like to live in the middle of nowhere away from city life and all the emotional overload I absorb when being around people.

7. Sometimes I wish I had a Royal pass so the Supermarket would be emptied and I could actually enjoy getting my groceries.

8. Sometimes it would be nice to feel part of the conversations I get into with groups of people. It would be nice to know when I have my turn to talk and not just have to go quiet because I’m fed up of being talked over.

9. Sometimes when a person says, “How are you?” it would be nice if they actually meant it and I could respond in an honest way. Instead I have to try to figure if they are being polite or do they really want to know. It causes me fear that I will bore them to death or make myself look like a happy clappy loon. “I’m fine thanks!” is it really enough for me to say and move on?

10. Sometimes I would just like to be accepted as me because when I am being me I am happy.

11. Sometimes, when I’m being me I like to just sit on a hillside and absorb the landscape. I see so much better when I step out on the “norm” and get away from “reality”

12. Sometimes, when I’m being me I go off with my camera (mobile) and take photos of light, shadow and all things beautiful. It doesn’t matter if I take 10 photos of the same thing, focusing through a lens stops me focusing on how this world can make me feel.

13. Sometimes, when I’m being me I like to sit under my tree and read my Bible. I like to stay there for a while and listen to the silence. I hear the best lessons from the silence in my solitude.

14. Sometimes, when I’m being me I enjoy getting messy and swirling my paints. I love how I can make colours move and form their own worlds on my canvas. I love the speed I can squirt paint and I love the flow I can get with the running of liquids pouring from my bottles onto paper/canvas or hot wax from my batik canting onto cloth.

15. Sometimes, when I am being me I can find so much pleasure in organising and rearranging. I like order and I feel safe when things are in the right place. I can’t always function well when not in my own environment or in places that are overwhelming for me. It would be nice if people understood this and stopped trying to make me change.

16. Sometimes, when I am being me I can be a clown. I have a good sense of humour but not everyone gets me. Only those I trust get to see the real me now.

17. Sometimes, when I am being me I like to play REALLY loud music and dance around my house, it’s usually Reggae, I like Reggae it makes me want to dance. Other days I like total silence or very quiet classical music in the background and I can’t cope with my dance music at all.

18. Sometimes, when I am being me I like to be quiet. I like to just listen and feel involved without having to speak. I’m not being ignorant if I’m not looking at you, I’m listening better without all the confusion of your face.

19. Sometimes, when I’m being me I would like to stand up and say I’m an Aspie, I’m not rude, I do care, I don’t mean to hurt anyone, I am honest, I am loyal and I don’t like how you treat me.

20. Sometimes it’s good to just Babble, I filter when I babble and who cares what anyone thinks.

**********************************************************************

The “Monkey Mind”

Chinese Buddhists call the voice in your head “the monkey mind” because they believe it resembles a restless monkey, swinging aimlessly from tree to tree, commenting on everything you do and how you should do it.

SPD,EFD,OCD & all that jazz!

I paced around my house this morning, talking to myself. Motivating myself to actually sit at my pc and write. I know when I need to write because I can find a thousand other creative things to do with my hands but my mind keeps speaking and looping on the words.

Writing for me is part of my process, a part of my healing from past hurts. It is also a way for me to move forward. Writing is my deliverer from

EFD (Executive Function Disorder)

SPD (Sensory Processing Disorder)

OCD (Obsessive Compulsive Disorder)

All these “disorders” but still I keep going!

I have found my own way, it takes me longer and I might seem to get stuck at times or repeat myself, but I will get there eventually. What my brain cannot execute in the neurotypical way, my reflective reviews, journaling, ANT’s charts and blogging will help me sort through the fluff and confusion. I find the backbone, the root and the will.

Writing helps me to find my confidence in a world where I am constantly trying to learn an ever changing language. Favoured items are static they are easy to comprehend and automatically will gain trust and care. Animals can be studied and act in a predictable way most of the time with a need for self care. People are constantly changing they are unpredictable and fascinating. Change can cause me major insecurity, anxiety and even paranoia when I am not focused on helping myself but allowing myself to just drift along.

Sharing is like my accountability, it’s like me opening up a covenant I make with myself. In my openness and honesty I can no-longer keep making excuses and finding ways out.

A way out of what?

Honestly…I’m still coming to terms with not being able to fit!

That’s right, I’m still coming to terms with not being able to fit! It is so much easier to take my stroppy teenage view and think that people are just plan nasty. But I don’t believe they are, I know that there are a lot of lovely people in this world. Growing up undiagnosed without any early intervention has caused me deep scars. I will not let my past define who I am today, or who I am growing into tomorrow.

I document me because my process might help another

I went to see a psychologist a few weeks ago and the main thing I took away from this meeting was how deeply I hurt from always feeling socially isolated. Growing up always being the onlooker that would have loved to have had just one true friend. To have always been seeking deep and loyal friendship but never understood why I got left out. I now have to fight the mental scar of never really feeling that I am acceptable.

I have wonderful online friendships

They are with the most beautiful and loving people and I am so very grateful for each and every one of them. However in my everyday life I have surface level acquaintanceships where I can never really be myself. I still wear the mask.

I know how to look like I fit

I can look like I fit that well no-one even notices how much I am struggling. I found my own way of hiding in the mass, I’m the quiet observer that speaks when spoken to. I have lots of personas I can use for different environments. They are all so very well rehearsed within the loops and replays predicted in my mind. When in unfamiliar circumstances I pass as shy with a touch of eccentric, but that is not who I truly am. Truth being told being part of the social norm means I am forever treading water, swimming against the current, feeling out of my depth and it is so mentally draining and such bloody hard work.

My shutdowns have become a place of comfort

Within a shutdown I can block out everything, everyone and every thought. I know in this place that I can also block out me as I take a step away.

Over the years I have learned to switch off me so that I can focus on others and show the empathy, sympathy that I have been told I don’t understand. I have learned to take on another’s pain and carry it inside as to not be uncaring. SPD makes sure I feel it too. I didn’t realise that for most people it doesn’t physically hurt when they cry. I didn’t cry for many years when I shut out and shutdown to people. I can understand feelings, I have my understanding of empathy and I feel pain for others within me. I have always understood and I have always felt but I had to learn to show and express in the appropriate way. I have learned to show social kindness to others by being unkind to me.

I can forget to switch me back on

I then lose myself in the maze of life and the passion of people puzzles. My brain loves puzzles, my brain loves finding answers, my heart wants to love and feel loved. People are not puzzles and trying to help is not always what is needed. This is not logical in my mind but I learned to not speak and just to show a certain facial expression I learned from watching my Mom.

I get so busy pleasing others, being who I think they want me to be, that I simply forget to be me. I need to remember to find grounding. I need to remember to return to self. I need to remember that I am worth knowing. I need to remember that I am a unique and loving individual. I need to remember to find my safe place. My Mom was my safe place and without her I can feel very lost. I can find comfort and safety within my faith most of the time. I can also find my safe place when I find me again within my special interests.

What stops me?

I’m still coming to terms with being a dyslexic aspergic geek!

So this is my next step

I need to let the geek out, I need to let me be me.

Face to face female friendships are so socially confusing for me. My geeky intensity and passion for interest is avoided by most NT women. I totally get this and that’s why I don’t let me out very often. When I do I have a wonderful time just being myself.

Let’s face fact though, Aspie women are good at hiding, we are excellent actresses. We learn how to fit or not be seen. When we do get real and some polite person chats and makes us feel accepted, we get excited and forget to hold back a little, we think we have found a friend and can’t wait to see them again. Then we are avoided and the pain we feel from rejection brings back every foul memory from every negative loop we have.

We don’t do the chit chat well. We tend to be too honest and open. We take the conversation to a level that stimulates our own mind without realising we make others uncomfortable. I mean who really wants to get deep and intense about …(insert your own special interests here)… writing, poetry, art, spirituality, ASD’s, animals, fishes, quotes, images, blogging, fantasy and trees.

I find companionship within the blogosphere and I LOVE it

One thing I don’t have is face to face communication with like minded friends.

For any future friends this is who I am.

  • I need to feel accepted and loved for just being me.
  • I need friends who understand I can’t always maintain eye contact but it doesn’t mean I’m not interested.
  • I sometimes need to be intense, it’s how my mind stays focused.
  • I will drift off into daydreams and tangent thoughts but it doesn’t mean I’m not listening.
  • I sometimes just need to be quiet and I need you to be quiet with me while I think.
  • Just because I stop talking doesn’t mean I have finished expressing.
  • I want to be a good friend, I will think of your needs more than my own at times which can make me somewhat annoying.
  • I can get very insecure and feel my ways have hurt you, I fear rejection so I over compensate by being too open and over loving.
  • I am honest and I care deeply
  • I look for what is good in a person but I can be rather naive and gullible.
  • I can be very silly and giggley at times, in these times I may seem insensitive to your needs so I need you to tell me if you need me to be sensible.
  • I won’t just pick up on your feelings by looking at your face.
  • I need to be able to trust, without trust I can’t function within friendship.

I know that God will help me find a way forward. I’m just sharing as I process.

Love and hugs. xx 🙂

Friends and Acquaintances (Repost)

image from Google

Hello my lovely bloggy friends,

I’m not really feeling much like writing at the moment so I thought I’d repost an old post that helps me. I’m not about to start building those walls again but it’s good to remind myself of a time when I did.

************************************

Today didn’t start too well for me, it’s been coming on for a few days now. I haven’t really been able to figure out why or what has been making me feel sad.

This is where I suppose having people around to chat with would be good. But when I try to chat to those around me, those that are not family I feel like I’m a nuisance. I hate feeling like I’m a nuisance, I’ve spent my whole life feeling like I’m a nuisance.

I tried to get some time and a coffee with a friend the other day, but it didn’t quite work out, so I ended up feeling rejected. In fact I have tried a couple of times this week to reach out in friendship to those I speak to in my life here. I’m just not good at group conversation and I don’t come across well.  I have tried reasoning this out on my own but I can’t understand what I do wrong, and it’s looping a bit in my head.

It’s times like these when I really need help,

AND… I really miss my Mom too. I don’t understand the way people behave. I know I have friendships with people, I know they all have their own things going on. I also realise that I am extremely sensitive, and take thing personally, that are not meant to be taken personally.

This is the part of being an Aspie that I find hard. It builds up without me realising and then I either have a meltdown or I go off and shutdown completely.

I want to talk, I want to be around people,

I love listening to people and being helpful. I don’t always understand the way people communicate and I know I can talk too much and I talk myself round in circles. There are SO few people who will actually listen and accept me for who I am, without giving me loads of advice and ways I need to change. I see that I can go into a state of self punishment, because I don’t like that I feel so alone.

***************************************************************************

My closest friend shared a footnote from her Bible study the other week with me, it said…

How can I know who my friends are?

Proverbs 17:17 (New International Version 1984)

A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for adversity.

One way is a test of loyalty. A genuine friend loves us through the best and the worst of times. In fact, a friend’s true colours are revealed when we go through unusually difficult and painful circumstances.

According to proverbs it’s preferable to have one or two close, intimate companions than a host of superficial acquaintances. The person who maintains only surface relationships with a wide number of people may eventually face ruin for lack of good advice when it is really needed.

Proverbs 18:24 (Good News Translation)

Some friendships do not last, but some friends are more loyal than brothers.

True friends also wound us. They’re willing to tell us the hard truth even when it hurts. We can trust their honest feedback, but an enemy multiplies kisses (27:6). Beware of someone who does not have the courage to confront you when you need it.

***************************************************************************

My friend shared this with me because it helped her, it has helped me so much today.

I also thought back on some of my counselling sessions when I started to use friendship rings. Learning to tell the difference between acquaintances and true friendships.

As a person on the spectrum

I think us Aspies are so desperate to be accepted that we naturally want to trust people and believe that they want to be our friends. Or, we can be quite the opposite and put up a brick wall because we feel so hurt by the world around us. I know I have done both in my life. I also know that I have bent over backwards to keep friendships/relationships with people who basically didn’t deserve my friendship at all. I did this because of a fear of being alone, of being rejected.

I thank God everyday for the friendships I have now.

I am so grateful that I can communicate through writing, that I can express who I am and how I feel.

I love that my sister lives so close to me that I can have coffee with her when I feel down.

AND…I thank God that I have one friend who I can sit face to face with and be totally myself.

No more brick walls going up for this Aspie, I have allowed God to soften my heart and I love people.

I might struggle to understand them, but I still love them.

Love and hugs everyone. xx 🙂