One thing I LOVE about blogging

Hello my lovely Bloggy friends,

One thing I LOVE about blogging is being able to look back and remember. I have been reading through many of my old posts today and thanking God for the growth and changes I can see in me.

Blogging has helped me so much and it continues to help me daily. I love my slot in the day to read my favourite blogs and make contact with friends. I now have friends all around the world. Friends who get me, and wouldn’t want me to be any other way. That is just so amazing and something I never thought I would have.

I decided to repost this post of a time when I was feeling totally overwhelmed with all the building work that was being done on my home. I had cleared out my attic and had boxes filled with things that I hadn’t seen in years. This post has two poems in it that I wrote as a child. I have many new blog followers now that didn’t know the Alienhippy back in 2010.

SO…I thought this would be a nice change from my usual…open, honest, vulnerable and probably a little too intense at times loopy self…hehe

You know you all love me really. Right? 😉

Love and hugs. xx 🙂

*******************************************************************************

Well today I had no intension of blogging what so ever.

I have been an emotional basket case all day, and had no inspiration at all.

I put off sorting my unopened boxes as long as I could.

Then enough was enough, I asked my friend to pray for me and it worked.

The first box I opened was a box that my lovely Mom had left for me.

In this box was a collection of my school things.

Some of my School reports, how they didn’t figure out I had difficulties I don’t know…lol

I also found reading my old note book highly entertaining

Amongst the scribbles and cartoons of Adolf Hitler as Head Teacher wearing a dress, Ken Dodd with his tickle stick and various teachers all doing very naughty things…..hehehe.

I didn’t say I was an angel, I’m only human… AND…I was a rather rebellious teen.

I HAD TO BE TO SURVIVE….I’M NOT JOKING.

Well anyway…I found this really funny chat that I had with my school friend Jeanette.

Where we had passed my note pad back and forth, writing really stupid things.

I giggled that much reading this I don’t know how I didn’t wet my knickers….lol

I would love to blog it, but it is far too rude………………….lmho

What I did find really funny even back then, I was so into writing poetry.

I finished this chat off by challenging my friend Jeanette, to write a poem about winter.

……………how VERY un-relatable Lisa…giggle

Where she answers, “Why? What on earth for? You know I can’t write poetry!”

Anyhow, here are a couple of poems I found that I wrote as a school girl.

This girl that goes to my school

Who took my friends away

She isn’t very nice

They’ll find that out one day

She bosses them about

And tells them what to do

She said she doesn’t like me

And she hates my boy friend too

When it was my Birthday

She broke up all my toys

And ’cause the teacher didn’t see

She blamed it on the boys

And one day in the playground

She kicked me in the knee

But what upsets me most of all

Is…my friends won’t play with me.

*****

And then this one…….

I must be a fool to go to school

When at home I can play all day

I only have to bang my head

And Mom says, “You can stay in bed.”

I only have to start to cough

Or maybe find a little spot.

Then down to the doctors we will go

“Keep her in bed for a week or so!”

Then when the week is up

And Mom is not quite sane

I wake up in the morning

And say, “I’ve got a pain!”

Mom says, “Where does it hurt?”

“In my belly”

“Go back to bed and watch the telly”

She doesn’t moan, she picks up the phone

She finds a teacher she can tell

MY SAMMY CAT

That I’m not feeling very well

Then gives me Disprol for my ache

She doesn’t know that I’m a fake.

I ALSO FOUND THIS OLD PHOTO OF MY BEST FRIEND AS A KID.

MY SAMMY CAT.

“It is done!”… was not finished.

Image from Google

Hello my lovely Bloggy friends,

I was a complete mess yesterday because I chose to dwell on the negative words spoken to me by someone I love. I know this person didn’t mean to plant seeds of doubt and fear into me. But I heard the words and my heart just broke. I have struggled with this same fear all my life.

I wrote an extremely emotional poem yesterday and put it on my creativity blog,

“Listening through the Loops”

Most of the time after a poem I feel a lot better but last night I was still in turmoil. I woke up in the middle of the night looping and not able to sleep. So I prayed, I wrote out my prayer and at the end of three pages these words came out.

Fears and doubts are not of me.

Love and acceptance are my ways.

Come to me leave troubles behind.

Enter my arms with singing and praise.

I was reminded of a scripture

1 John 4:18

The Message (MSG)

To Love, to Be Loved

17-18God is love. When we take up permanent residence in a life of love, we live in God and God lives in us. This way, love has the run of the house, becomes at home and mature in us, so that we’re free of worry on Judgment Day—our standing in the world is identical with Christ’s. There is no room in love for fear. Well-formed love banishes fear. Since fear is crippling, a fearful life—fear of death, fear of judgment—is one not yet fully formed in love.

So often I can feel crippled by fear

I can stop being me and just become what others want of me. But God’s perfect love is about being Christlike, it’s not about fear and rules it’s about love and acceptance. We are all unique and wonderful creations. Each an individual with our own gifts and talents. Each with our own ways of expressing who we are. Who we are in Christ. Only in Christ, in a relationship with our Heavenly Father can we find the strength to be who we are created to be.

My poem didn’t seem to have an ending.

The words I got in prayer didn’t seem to have a poem

So I’m going to add them to the end of, “It is done!”

WHY? Because God’s love is perfect and wipes away fears and tears.

My poem was me hurting and grieving but not really listening to who God has created me to be.

Love and hugs.

Lisa. xx 🙂

It is done!

by Alienhippy

I can’t stop the loops, why do I listen to such words?

How can I change the way they feel inside my mind

They grip and tear my heavy heart, such pain

Where can I find my smiling dance again

~

Please hold back your words

To you they only spark a feeling of release

Their poison is released, doubts built over years

I cannot shift these tears, these fears you have unleashed

~

Please ponder on my mind and be more kind

Remember that your words leave your mouth, then set up house

Inside my head, all you have said and my heart is pained

I have to go, be in the still, rest in His arms and hear His will

~

You’ve triggered my rejection and the feeling of alone

I can go home and find the TRUTH, and learn to TRUST again

Stop with your words, I will not listen anymore

It is done!

******

Fears and doubts are not of me.

Love and acceptance are my ways.

Come to me leave troubles behind.

Enter my arms with singing and praise.

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A quote I found yesterday and decided to add.

“Don’t just settle for doing what you can.

Trust God to do what you can’t.”

(Louie Giglio)

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LINKS to posts with Bible Devotionals on my “Missing Jigsaws & Excess Lego Blog

Quote, Post and an Image

Helpful and Inspiring

 

My Guardian Angel

Image found on Google (I like the Rainbow colours)

My Guardian Angel

by Alienhippy

If I had my Guardian Angel, whispering in my ear

Speaking only positive things that God wants me to hear

All this fear, anxiety and all this twisted pain

Would not exist, it would be gone, like a child I’d be again

~

As a child I heard, recognised this voice and acted with confidence

I’d smile and sing, laugh and swing and do my happy dance

I get this back occasionally, then it will go away

The darkness comes back, surrounded by black, aloneness calls so I pray

~

But what I need to remember, although I can no-longer see

God sends my Guardian Angel, He whispers softly to me

I only have to listen to what is good, this is my choice

Call out to God, He’ll give me strength to block the nasty voice

~

My God is strong, I’m in his hand, my Angel will always protect

This might seem hard, but with my God these arrows I can deflect

So, I’ll settle down within His arms and know we are NOT apart

I’ll listen for my Angels voice not with my ears but with my heart

Pick up my Cross (Repost)

Pick up my Cross

I wrote this poem over 6 years ago when I was an extremely zealous and also a sometimes religiously self-righteous Christian. I was working through the knot of fundamentalism that was actually making me ill.

I have changed the poem slightly as my faith has matured and my mind has become more open.

I am not a religious scholar, just a girl who enjoys reading her Bible.

I want to share this poem because as an Aspie I can sometimes find it hard to step outside of my own life/thoughts and feelings, long enough to see the needs of others. Having an image in my mind of undying, unconditional love and empathy helps me to be more outwardly focussed.

Before you read this poem, you need to read this.

I understand that the Christian Church is not perfect, I have experienced my share of pain regarding this in both denomination and non-denominational fellowships.

Also…..Religion causes much controversy, as humanity constantly finds ways of disagreeing with itself.

However, I am a simple girl brought up in a simple Christian home. Where I was fortunate enough to be shown empathy and unconditional love.

For these reasons…

  • I do not hide my beliefs, as my faith has helped get me through life so far.
  • If this poem offends you in any way I am sorry. I am sharing it because I love God and this is my understanding of His love for me. (YOU DON’T HAVE TO READ IT)
  • I do not want a theological discussion or religious debate starting on my blog. Any comments left in that nature will be deleted as I feel arguing about doctrine is counter-productive and not really in the true nature of a loving God. (I have had enough pomp and zeal to last me more than a life time.)

Pick up my Cross

by Alienhippy

Is it so hard to not do the wrongs

To give thanks to Jesus, sing Heavenly songs?

To put the Lord first, whatever people say

To pick up my cross and walk Jesus’ way

.

His body was beaten and bleeding

Half dead on the floor He lay

The soldiers just kicked Him and shouted

“PICK UP YOUR CROSS, GOLGOTHA IS THAT WAY!”

.

As He hung on the cross, with love in His eyes

He saw His Mommy and heard her cries

He looked up to Heaven, His Father to see

Crying out, “Eloi, Eloi, lama sabachthani?”

(“My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?”)

.

He chose for Himself to come down to earth

His love was so deep, His blood it was worth

To give me a chance, show me how to live

To give up my sin and my life to God give

So as this is hard, to God I will pray

Then pick up my cross and live through each day

End notes
The use of Mommy instead of Mummy or Mother is for my own benefit. It helps me identify with Jesus having a human Mother that he cared deeply about. In his last breaths His thoughts were of her care.

Hello my lovely Bloggy friends

Happiness in your life, image is a link to fb page.

Hello my lovely Bloggy friends,

I am thinking of writing a post, maybe later today, I already have the title. I’m waiting on God to help me find the right words. This could be a tricky one but as we all know the Alienhippy’s Blog is “A place where I can be me!” That’s my ups and my downs, I’m only human also I find that my Aspie way of seeing things is actually helpful when I am open and honest.

When I started this blog I didn’t intend for it to go in a Christian direction. But let’s face it my blog was a total accident and I never thought for a minute anyone would actually read anything I write. I know how much I babble and a lot of my babble is me going around in circles trying to find a way of explaining the loops in my head. I find it very hard sometimes to process and at Christmas there is so much change that processing is not something I have time to do.

The title of my post will be, “Have yourself a Merry little Meltdown!”… hehe, Eeek!

While I’m waiting to find the words

I thought I’d share this poem, I wrote it in November last year but as I have quite a few lovely new readers I would like to share this again.

I was reminded of this poem while reading a post over at Flappiness Is 

Leigh’s sharing is so very inspiring.

Love and hugs my lovely friends.

Lisa. xx 🙂

As a child

by Alienhippy

As a child I would call to you, I knew you were always there

I had the words and a way to speak, I understood you’d always care

But as I grew the words got lost, the light then left my eyes

So at the floor I downward looked, I put on a masked disguise

˜

I tried so hard to live like this, to fit and not be seen

A daily battle to wear a smile, In my mind I still had the dream

That one day you’d come and sort me out, and make my life make sense

You’d take away the pain I carry, freeing me from feeling so tense

˜

So you called to me when I was hiding, by this time I didn’t even care

But you pursued and did not give up, knowing I’d meet you there

You took my hand and gently guided, you understood that I was weak

You walked the path and checked the way, giving me the heart to seek

˜

You showed me love when I was alone, and filled my life with hope

Explained the way that I’ve been made, you now teach me to cope

You are my friend you are my Lord, and Autism is part of me

You really love me “JUST AS I AM!” so now I can just be free

I don a mask for every day

Image from Google

Hello my lovely Bloggy friends,

I have a poem to share today, I wrote it after a reflective prayer time. I find that is when my poetry flows easiest and very quickly. I believe prayer is a gift that God gives to us. A gift of friendship, unconditional love and acceptance from our Heavenly Father.

I don’t always think this way though

And then I end up on my knees anyway because I haven’t processed things properly, I have become overloaded and I shutdown. So I am learning to build a better friendship with Jesus because He is the best friend I could ever have.

I read a wonderful post the other day

It was written by my closest friend Fiona over at Wonderfully Wired. It is a very touching post and it reminded me of an old poem I wrote way back in my first three months of blogging.

A poem called “Internalise”

It also reminded me of words spoken by Paul to the Church in Corinth.

These are Paul’s words

2 Corinthians 3:18  (NIV)

And we all, who with unveiled faces contemplate the Lord’s glory, are being transformed into his image with ever-increasing glory, which comes from the Lord, who is the Spirit.

As I sat and reflected on my thoughts

I “Listened through the Loops” in my mind and I knew I had a post to write, and then a poem came instead. I will share my poem at the end of this post.

All those STUPID MASKS

In Fi’s post she talks about how she has to wear a mask and pretend. She also share about how her beautiful son *Harley is learning to put on a mask too, because he sees he is different to the other kids at school. *Harley has Aspergers.

He also sees that for most people he needs to pretend and conform to society and it’s unwritten rules. That his beautiful loving nature is a thing that other children tease him for. I know these feelings all too well, seems to me the more you love the more you get hurt.

Fiona also shares of how when *Harley comes home he can take off that stupid mask and be just who he is created to be.

You can read Fiona’s post here, Stupid Masks

Fi’s unconditional love for her children, her passion for bringing awareness to the needs of those on the spectrum, her accepting, loving, open and honest nature makes her blog a must read.

Plus I find my friend so very inspiring. 🙂

Here is my poem

I don a mask for every day

by Alienhippy

I don a mask for every day

Slip out the door my head will pray

I speak the words my heart will hear

Protect me Lord from all this fear

~

As I’m walking through this day

Give me ears for what you say

With faith my hope will always please

You’ll bring these loops down to their knee

~

These masks can go and I can be

Wonderfully Wired created to be me

Seeing through your eyes, born unique

Living in acceptance gratefully I seek

~

Your Son will help me fully live

Not for myself but learning to give

And in my life your love will flow

My feet and heart will gladly go

~

To every corner that’s in darkness

Tell my story share this gladness

You came to me to heal my pain

In your love, I trust love again

~

Just like a child without restrictions

No tortured confines, obsessive addictions

But giving freely and believing in you

To guide my life and get me through

Do you want to play a game?‏

image from Google

Hello my lovely Bloggy friends,

This post is a bit of fun for anyone who wants to join in.

I have written before about free flow.

Basically free flow is a good way for me to distract my brain and help process thoughts. It helps me when I am obsessing on something silly, like today it was the colour orange.

I KNOW that seems extremely strange but it has many ways of presenting itself in my mind. It goes off in all directions and takes me into wonderful adventures. However I have to break these cycles and get on with that little thing we all call life.

I sent an email to my lovely friend Angel

The email was titled, “Do you want to play a game?”

We are very alike, so of course she did.

We are wondering how many others would like to play…hehehe

So this is what you do.

Open up a fresh document.

(If you prefer you can also use good old pen and paper)

Click on the link below to the music, it will open in a new window.

Click on the image above it will become larger.

Once the music starts look deeply into the image for a few second allowing your mind to clear.

Then start typing (writing) WHATEVER comes into your thoughts.

Don’t worry about spelling, punctuation, spaces, lines or even making sense…just type.

It doesn’t have to rhyme, it’s just a way to express and relax your mind.

You can go back and edit after the music finishes.

Have fun and feel relaxed!

Here is the link to Angels free flow tangent poetry.

Angels’ Free Day

And this is the link to my poem.

Butterfly Breeze

Please feel free to share your thoughts or poems in our comments.

Use this idea to help yourself, you can pick your own images and music.

Love and hugs.

Lisa. xx 🙂

LINK TO MUSIC…..

New Relaxation Music – Butterfly Play