“It is done!”… was not finished.

Image from Google

Hello my lovely Bloggy friends,

I was a complete mess yesterday because I chose to dwell on the negative words spoken to me by someone I love. I know this person didn’t mean to plant seeds of doubt and fear into me. But I heard the words and my heart just broke. I have struggled with this same fear all my life.

I wrote an extremely emotional poem yesterday and put it on my creativity blog,

“Listening through the Loops”

Most of the time after a poem I feel a lot better but last night I was still in turmoil. I woke up in the middle of the night looping and not able to sleep. So I prayed, I wrote out my prayer and at the end of three pages these words came out.

Fears and doubts are not of me.

Love and acceptance are my ways.

Come to me leave troubles behind.

Enter my arms with singing and praise.

I was reminded of a scripture

1 John 4:18

The Message (MSG)

To Love, to Be Loved

17-18God is love. When we take up permanent residence in a life of love, we live in God and God lives in us. This way, love has the run of the house, becomes at home and mature in us, so that we’re free of worry on Judgment Day—our standing in the world is identical with Christ’s. There is no room in love for fear. Well-formed love banishes fear. Since fear is crippling, a fearful life—fear of death, fear of judgment—is one not yet fully formed in love.

So often I can feel crippled by fear

I can stop being me and just become what others want of me. But God’s perfect love is about being Christlike, it’s not about fear and rules it’s about love and acceptance. We are all unique and wonderful creations. Each an individual with our own gifts and talents. Each with our own ways of expressing who we are. Who we are in Christ. Only in Christ, in a relationship with our Heavenly Father can we find the strength to be who we are created to be.

My poem didn’t seem to have an ending.

The words I got in prayer didn’t seem to have a poem

So I’m going to add them to the end of, “It is done!”

WHY? Because God’s love is perfect and wipes away fears and tears.

My poem was me hurting and grieving but not really listening to who God has created me to be.

Love and hugs.

Lisa. xx 🙂

It is done!

by Alienhippy

I can’t stop the loops, why do I listen to such words?

How can I change the way they feel inside my mind

They grip and tear my heavy heart, such pain

Where can I find my smiling dance again

~

Please hold back your words

To you they only spark a feeling of release

Their poison is released, doubts built over years

I cannot shift these tears, these fears you have unleashed

~

Please ponder on my mind and be more kind

Remember that your words leave your mouth, then set up house

Inside my head, all you have said and my heart is pained

I have to go, be in the still, rest in His arms and hear His will

~

You’ve triggered my rejection and the feeling of alone

I can go home and find the TRUTH, and learn to TRUST again

Stop with your words, I will not listen anymore

It is done!

******

Fears and doubts are not of me.

Love and acceptance are my ways.

Come to me leave troubles behind.

Enter my arms with singing and praise.

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A quote I found yesterday and decided to add.

“Don’t just settle for doing what you can.

Trust God to do what you can’t.”

(Louie Giglio)

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LINKS to posts with Bible Devotionals on my “Missing Jigsaws & Excess Lego Blog

Quote, Post and an Image

Helpful and Inspiring

 

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Why I Hate Religion, But Love Jesus

Hello my lovely Bloggy friends,

My lovely friend Angel sent me this video yesterday, I just had to share it!

My Guardian Angel

Image found on Google (I like the Rainbow colours)

My Guardian Angel

by Alienhippy

If I had my Guardian Angel, whispering in my ear

Speaking only positive things that God wants me to hear

All this fear, anxiety and all this twisted pain

Would not exist, it would be gone, like a child I’d be again

~

As a child I heard, recognised this voice and acted with confidence

I’d smile and sing, laugh and swing and do my happy dance

I get this back occasionally, then it will go away

The darkness comes back, surrounded by black, aloneness calls so I pray

~

But what I need to remember, although I can no-longer see

God sends my Guardian Angel, He whispers softly to me

I only have to listen to what is good, this is my choice

Call out to God, He’ll give me strength to block the nasty voice

~

My God is strong, I’m in his hand, my Angel will always protect

This might seem hard, but with my God these arrows I can deflect

So, I’ll settle down within His arms and know we are NOT apart

I’ll listen for my Angels voice not with my ears but with my heart

Pick up my Cross (Repost)

Pick up my Cross

I wrote this poem over 6 years ago when I was an extremely zealous and also a sometimes religiously self-righteous Christian. I was working through the knot of fundamentalism that was actually making me ill.

I have changed the poem slightly as my faith has matured and my mind has become more open.

I am not a religious scholar, just a girl who enjoys reading her Bible.

I want to share this poem because as an Aspie I can sometimes find it hard to step outside of my own life/thoughts and feelings, long enough to see the needs of others. Having an image in my mind of undying, unconditional love and empathy helps me to be more outwardly focussed.

Before you read this poem, you need to read this.

I understand that the Christian Church is not perfect, I have experienced my share of pain regarding this in both denomination and non-denominational fellowships.

Also…..Religion causes much controversy, as humanity constantly finds ways of disagreeing with itself.

However, I am a simple girl brought up in a simple Christian home. Where I was fortunate enough to be shown empathy and unconditional love.

For these reasons…

  • I do not hide my beliefs, as my faith has helped get me through life so far.
  • If this poem offends you in any way I am sorry. I am sharing it because I love God and this is my understanding of His love for me. (YOU DON’T HAVE TO READ IT)
  • I do not want a theological discussion or religious debate starting on my blog. Any comments left in that nature will be deleted as I feel arguing about doctrine is counter-productive and not really in the true nature of a loving God. (I have had enough pomp and zeal to last me more than a life time.)

Pick up my Cross

by Alienhippy

Is it so hard to not do the wrongs

To give thanks to Jesus, sing Heavenly songs?

To put the Lord first, whatever people say

To pick up my cross and walk Jesus’ way

.

His body was beaten and bleeding

Half dead on the floor He lay

The soldiers just kicked Him and shouted

“PICK UP YOUR CROSS, GOLGOTHA IS THAT WAY!”

.

As He hung on the cross, with love in His eyes

He saw His Mommy and heard her cries

He looked up to Heaven, His Father to see

Crying out, “Eloi, Eloi, lama sabachthani?”

(“My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?”)

.

He chose for Himself to come down to earth

His love was so deep, His blood it was worth

To give me a chance, show me how to live

To give up my sin and my life to God give

So as this is hard, to God I will pray

Then pick up my cross and live through each day

End notes
The use of Mommy instead of Mummy or Mother is for my own benefit. It helps me identify with Jesus having a human Mother that he cared deeply about. In his last breaths His thoughts were of her care.

Hello my lovely Bloggy friends

Happiness in your life, image is a link to fb page.

Hello my lovely Bloggy friends,

I am thinking of writing a post, maybe later today, I already have the title. I’m waiting on God to help me find the right words. This could be a tricky one but as we all know the Alienhippy’s Blog is “A place where I can be me!” That’s my ups and my downs, I’m only human also I find that my Aspie way of seeing things is actually helpful when I am open and honest.

When I started this blog I didn’t intend for it to go in a Christian direction. But let’s face it my blog was a total accident and I never thought for a minute anyone would actually read anything I write. I know how much I babble and a lot of my babble is me going around in circles trying to find a way of explaining the loops in my head. I find it very hard sometimes to process and at Christmas there is so much change that processing is not something I have time to do.

The title of my post will be, “Have yourself a Merry little Meltdown!”… hehe, Eeek!

While I’m waiting to find the words

I thought I’d share this poem, I wrote it in November last year but as I have quite a few lovely new readers I would like to share this again.

I was reminded of this poem while reading a post over at Flappiness Is 

Leigh’s sharing is so very inspiring.

Love and hugs my lovely friends.

Lisa. xx 🙂

As a child

by Alienhippy

As a child I would call to you, I knew you were always there

I had the words and a way to speak, I understood you’d always care

But as I grew the words got lost, the light then left my eyes

So at the floor I downward looked, I put on a masked disguise

˜

I tried so hard to live like this, to fit and not be seen

A daily battle to wear a smile, In my mind I still had the dream

That one day you’d come and sort me out, and make my life make sense

You’d take away the pain I carry, freeing me from feeling so tense

˜

So you called to me when I was hiding, by this time I didn’t even care

But you pursued and did not give up, knowing I’d meet you there

You took my hand and gently guided, you understood that I was weak

You walked the path and checked the way, giving me the heart to seek

˜

You showed me love when I was alone, and filled my life with hope

Explained the way that I’ve been made, you now teach me to cope

You are my friend you are my Lord, and Autism is part of me

You really love me “JUST AS I AM!” so now I can just be free

My Christmas thoughts, Gift of Prayer

Hello my lovely Bloggy friends,

Merry Christmas to all of you. I posted this on Christmas day last year.

I’m posting it again today because I believe this to be the greatest gift.

Love and hugs. Lisa. xx 🙂

********************************************************

The greatest gift  you will ever receive,

Is knowing someone who prays for you.

John 3:16-21

New International Version (NIV1984)

“For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through him. Whoever believes in him is not condemned, but whoever does not believe stands condemned already because he has not believed in the name of God’s one and only Son. This is the verdict: Light has come into the world, but men loved darkness instead of light because their deeds were evil. Everyone who does evil hates the light, and will not come into the light for fear that his deeds will be exposed. But whoever lives by the truth comes into the light, so that it may be seen plainly that what he has done has been done through God.”

Obsessions

Obsessions

by Alienhippy

Sometimes my obsessions scare me

Although some can bring my mind rest

They consume my thoughts with their tangents

Then the looping is not always best

~

Some obsessions will call and inspire

They bring freedom and show the real me

But others will make my brain tire

Of the nagging and negative I see

~

I fear that when I am focused

I forget all the things that are real

All the people I love and live for

Will not understand how I feel

~

The days all seem like they merge

My obsessions will pull on my time

I’m so focused on what I am doing

No need for food, not hungry, I am fine

~

I realise that this is not good

I need to show me some loving

My ways are often misunderstood

But for me this is just called living

~

I have made myself a timetable

And set an alarm on my phone

It’s good to be so intense sometimes

But it’s better to not feel alone

****************************************************************

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
~1 Corinthians 13:4-7~