Sometimes an Aspie has to babble.

Sometimes an Aspie has to babble

1. Sometimes I feel like, “Why do I bother?” Like today I feel stuck, I can’t get the words out of my head. No matter how I try I just feel like anything I write as a post will be cringe worthy.

2. Sometimes I just have to stop, I have to stop reading I have to stop trying to be friendly with people because the more I see of human nature the more I love my dogs.

3. Sometimes I have to just hide, I have to get my paints and play with colours and pretend that my bubble is the only place that exists.

4. Sometimes I have to just be with only those I love and those I know are trustworthy because everyone else is too confusing. Everyone else makes me want to go to sleep and not hear their true selves in my mind.

5. Sometimes I wish that people would just be honest, would just be truthful . I can’t filter when a person lies to me and it affects me for days as my mind loops on it trying to make sense out of nonsense.

6. Sometimes I would just like to live in the middle of nowhere away from city life and all the emotional overload I absorb when being around people.

7. Sometimes I wish I had a Royal pass so the Supermarket would be emptied and I could actually enjoy getting my groceries.

8. Sometimes it would be nice to feel part of the conversations I get into with groups of people. It would be nice to know when I have my turn to talk and not just have to go quiet because I’m fed up of being talked over.

9. Sometimes when a person says, “How are you?” it would be nice if they actually meant it and I could respond in an honest way. Instead I have to try to figure if they are being polite or do they really want to know. It causes me fear that I will bore them to death or make myself look like a happy clappy loon. “I’m fine thanks!” is it really enough for me to say and move on?

10. Sometimes I would just like to be accepted as me because when I am being me I am happy.

11. Sometimes, when I’m being me I like to just sit on a hillside and absorb the landscape. I see so much better when I step out on the “norm” and get away from “reality”

12. Sometimes, when I’m being me I go off with my camera (mobile) and take photos of light, shadow and all things beautiful. It doesn’t matter if I take 10 photos of the same thing, focusing through a lens stops me focusing on how this world can make me feel.

13. Sometimes, when I’m being me I like to sit under my tree and read my Bible. I like to stay there for a while and listen to the silence. I hear the best lessons from the silence in my solitude.

14. Sometimes, when I’m being me I enjoy getting messy and swirling my paints. I love how I can make colours move and form their own worlds on my canvas. I love the speed I can squirt paint and I love the flow I can get with the running of liquids pouring from my bottles onto paper/canvas or hot wax from my batik canting onto cloth.

15. Sometimes, when I am being me I can find so much pleasure in organising and rearranging. I like order and I feel safe when things are in the right place. I can’t always function well when not in my own environment or in places that are overwhelming for me. It would be nice if people understood this and stopped trying to make me change.

16. Sometimes, when I am being me I can be a clown. I have a good sense of humour but not everyone gets me. Only those I trust get to see the real me now.

17. Sometimes, when I am being me I like to play REALLY loud music and dance around my house, it’s usually Reggae, I like Reggae it makes me want to dance. Other days I like total silence or very quiet classical music in the background and I can’t cope with my dance music at all.

18. Sometimes, when I am being me I like to be quiet. I like to just listen and feel involved without having to speak. I’m not being ignorant if I’m not looking at you, I’m listening better without all the confusion of your face.

19. Sometimes, when I’m being me I would like to stand up and say I’m an Aspie, I’m not rude, I do care, I don’t mean to hurt anyone, I am honest, I am loyal and I don’t like how you treat me.

20. Sometimes it’s good to just Babble, I filter when I babble and who cares what anyone thinks.

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The “Monkey Mind”

Chinese Buddhists call the voice in your head “the monkey mind” because they believe it resembles a restless monkey, swinging aimlessly from tree to tree, commenting on everything you do and how you should do it.

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Under the birch tree

Under the birch tree

A moment captured on my BlackBerry mobile while spending time being still.

Hello my friends and the Jesus in you.

I’m still ten minutes early for school pick up. I walked from my car to where I am sitting the long way round. Just so I could walk through the Autumn trees. The colours are so amazing. I love the way the leaves blow around and flutter to the ground. Singing like little dancing forest angels. Quite spectacular, they make me smile.

While walking I saw a Mistle thrush. She was digging around in a pile of darkened leaves, obviously some of the first to fall, they had lost their shine. She quickly flew off when I tried to take a photo. I so need a camera with a zoom lens.

I thought of you while I was walking. I chatted with you actually and thought if I had a little more time I could have written you a poem. The thought made me smile again. I am so going to do that, please remind me if I forget.

I’m sat on a very cold walk now, I can feel the cold numbing my bum while I’m writing this on my mobile. There is moss growing in all the cracks of this wall so it’s quite damp too. It’s very interesting to look at now I am being still and can see. The dark, fresh, green against the terracotta red brick. Such a wonderful contrast. It would so clash as clothing, but with nature I notice all colours bring light to one another.

This wall I am sitting on is under an old silver birch tree. They are not the most spectacular of trees when it comes to Autumn. They seem to be slower to share their change. The leaves I am gazing at are still green just lacking their summer depth. They are tinted around the edges with a hint of Autumn glow. The silver birch does stand out in the snow though. I love how their bark captures the sun’s reflection from a frosty morning. The frozen sparkles from a tarmac road twinkling their spectrum on the mirror of an old and sturdy friend.

Oh, here we go the gates have opened and the kids are rushing out. I need to go and take my place next to the lolly-pop man so my little *CAL can find me.

Psalms 86:11

Teach me your way, O Lord,

and I will walk in your truth;

give me an undivided heart,

that I may fear your name.

The cool clear morning

Photo taken with my BlackBerry mobile

The cool clear morning

by Alienhippy

Cool clear morning, blow away the stain of forgotten hope.

Strip away this mask and scar not my tomorrows.

Listening for the Still you awaken within me.

Cleansing wave you transform all sorrows.

~

Refreshing depths, new dreams that dance me free.

Risen voice of my gentle dove.

Yes, I know this love.

~

“Hold on to hope, you’ve grown sweet child.

You can breathe in deep, my cool morning breath.

Keep smiling!

Keep singing!

Keep believing!

Keep dancing!

You are enough so keep being you!”

Pray with Simplicity

Here’s what I want you to do: Find a quiet, secluded place so you won’t be tempted to role-play before God. Just be there as simply and honestly as you can manage. The focus will shift from you to God, and you will begin to sense his grace.

The world is full of so-called prayer warriors who are prayer-ignorant. They’re full of formulas and programs and advice, peddling techniques for getting what you want from God. Don’t fall for that nonsense. This is your Father you are dealing with, and he knows better than you what you need.

With a God like this loving you, you can pray very simply. Like this:

Our Father in heaven,

Reveal who you are.

Set the world right;

Do what’s best— as above, so below.

Keep us alive with three square meals.

Keep us forgiven with you and forgiving others.

Keep us safe from ourselves and the Devil.

You’re in charge!

You can do anything you want!

You’re ablaze in beauty!

Yes. Yes. Yes.

~Matthew 6:6-13 (MSG)

These photographs were taken yesterday using my BlackBerry mobile while walking in the woods with my daughter. Love and hugs. Lisa. xx 🙂

Photo gallery of our day

Hello my lovely Bloggy friends,

I’m too tired to think of anything to write tonight. Here are some of my photos from todays day trip. I took them with my Blackberry mobile, I still haven’t decided which camera I want to buy to replace the one I had stollen.

Click on an image to view my gallery.

Love and hugs. xx 🙂

Busy having fun

We have had a very busy week with lots of day trips and lots of fun. Have I mentioned that I LOVE the school holidays. I feel happy, my kids are happy, yes we just LOVE the school holidays. 🙂

So what have we been up to?

This week we have been to the golfing range. The aquatic centre. Sat at the canal and had snacks. We went on one of *AJ’s adventures at some local hills. We took a picnic and ate it at the top. We walked all the hardest trails and climbed all the steepest hills. That was so much fun but I have bug bites that are itching like crazy, after fighting my way through ferns that were as tall as me and seemed to go on forever.

I have been taking *AJ out every day to practise his driving. He passed his theory test and is driving the car really well. It won’t be long before he is driving without me as his qualified driver.

Today *AJ decided to build a badminton court in the back garden, so *CAL, *AJ’s lovely girlfriend *A, and me have been helping with that. It has been a really hot day and so wonderful being outdoors instead of indoors. He worked very hard on it and all the chalk lines are down now he just needs to add a net. *AJ and *CAL have already had a game, *AJ made a strange sort of net using a piece of washing line and some of my clean washing. He’s such a funny boy…hehe

To find the room to make a badminton court *AJ first had to move the trampoline and reset it at the bottom end of the garden. Dig out a Pampas grass that had seen better days. Mow the lawn, also turn over and reseed some patchy areas. We also had to move a huge tractor tyre that was once their sand pit.

Our garden is changing and becoming more grown up

The kids swing and slide have gone, the trampoline is no longer the first thing you see. The sand pit is no longer a sand pit. I have plans of making it into a water feature. We also need to buy a new barbeque, patio table and chairs. The outdoors seem to be calling to us lately and I am not the sort of person to ignore a call that is good for my kids.

Here are a few photos of our week so far

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