His Eye is on the Sparrow, His hand is on my heart.

Hello my lovely Bloggy friends,

Sometimes you just know when God is speaking to you and other times life can be so noisy we just can’t hear Him. I am a big believer in getting quiet time each day, because I know that if I don’t, it makes my Autistic traits far worse for me to cope with.

This morning as I was reading my favourite Christian blogs I was reminded of an old post of mine. It’s funny how God does that, nothing quite as challenging as seeing your own words. I have been feeling that I needed to find ways of…

“Just being me!” again.

Since coming out Aspie there have been a lot of hurtful things said to me and I have gotten to the point now where I feel I don’t need to explain myself to anyone. People will either accept me for who I am or they won’t.

So I just want to say…Thank you God for loving me.

Also I would like to thank Richard for being just who he is,

“Richard your posts are a blessing my friend.”

This is the link to Richards post, Speaking Silently.

Richard is very real and his sharing of his walk with Jesus is very honest and open.

Love and hugs everyone and enjoy the re-post.

Lisa. xx 🙂

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His Eye is on the Sparrow.

(November 21, 2010)

When I first started blogging I was in hiding.

I had gotten to a point of near breakdown and the world was just too much for me to handle. I only shared my Art and Poetry to start with. I didn’t really talk to anyone. A very special person came along and started to help me. She became my first friend and helped me to open up and start sharing a little of myself through my blog.

I have made lots of friends through my blog since and you are all very dear to me. Because of the encouragement from bloggyland I am learning to be me.

~

God certainly works in mysterious ways

Who’d have guessed that He would come and find me hiding in the internet…God is so good!

But…I guess He did send a big fishy to fetch Jonah….giggle… I’m, so strange. Where do these thoughts come from???

When my internet first started to play up I sent my lovely friend an email, from my sisters. My friend told me to reach out to God because He will pick me up.

I have been doing this, because I have felt very cut off and really quite alone. I didn’t realise how much we all used the internet it’s just something we do without thinking.

Anyway…..

I prayed about this obviously (in my childlike way) I asked God to switch it back on again, first of all.

“Had a little bit of an Aspie meltdown…or was it a tantrum Lisa?” Thank you little voice, I know. You don’t have to keep butting in. I will tell them.

Then I thought… well what can I learn from this???

Well… now I know!

I love my blog, and all my bloggy friends. I miss going onto YouTube and watching my videos, I can’t watch the TV it causes me to much negative and then it cycles.

I miss reading my friends blogs, seeing how you all are.

I miss my comments and replying to my comments.

I miss searching around on Google looking for cartoons to go with my posts.

I love that I can entertain myself doing this. I often can’t stop giggling while looking.

This morning I woke up and just wanted to sing to God.

I had had a dream, quite a strange dream actually where I was chatting with God.

God said to me, in this dream, that when I sing it comes straight from my heart and sounds beautiful to Him.

Then I said to God, “But I think my voice sounds awful God!”

Then He giggled and said…”By the time it comes to me it is perfect, so keep singing to me.”

So this morning I woke up all excited about singing to God.

I ran downstairs in my Jim-Jams, into the conservatory, grabbed my guitar and sang to Jesus.

I was looking out onto my garden, its autumn here and there are leaves everywhere.

Right outside my window a little girl Sparrow perched on the fence only 3 feet away from me.

She looked straight at me. I could see her little dark eyes. She kept tilting her little head from side to side listening to me sing.

Now I know birds do this, I once had an aviary full of Budgies and I kept Chickens for year. I also had a pet Parrot called Po-Po who I loved so much.

I can tell when a bird is listening.

AND….NO, I am not mad…I know what I saw….giggle.

I carried on singing and kept repeating the song thinking she would fly off soon, but she didn’t.

She just stayed there looking straight at me listening to every word I sang to God. Bless her little sweetness.

Eventually I stopped singing and put my guitar down.  I smiled at her and said, “Thank you,” and I nodded my head to her.

She hopped closer nodded back and flew off.

I just thought WOW….God sent a Sparrow to listen to me sing to Him.

Today I went back to my old Church

I left 18 months ago feeling very misunderstood and quite hurt. I told the people (I needed to tell) that I have Aspergers Syndrome.

I told them how the Church had not been the best environment at times for some of my ways.

I also told them that I love my Christian brothers and sisters all around the world, in fact I love all people, but I am an Aspie and that makes me a little different.

I explained that I will only be doing what I feel God wants me to do, and I will not be made to feel guilty for not always being able to cope with the environment of the Church.

I also said I know God made me this way, and I am just the way I am supposed to be.

I was welcomed back with open arms and they accepted what I said…for now anyway.

SO…..

My Aspie-happy is out again. This time it’s the real one, not the one behind a mask.

I went to Church dressed in my happy clothes, because I am a multi coloured Rainbow.

And

The negativity I carried in my heart for 18 months has been completely turned upside down.

Blogging is certainly helping me, and I thank all of you. XX 🙂

Missing Jigsaws & Excess Lego

Image from Google

Hello my lovely Bloggy friends,

A sturdy cardboard box, covered with retro funky 70’s orange floral wallpaper. Can you visualise that? I can still see it in my mind 33 years later!

Inside this box is a collection of lost and missing pieces from games, jigsaws, Lego sets. Action mans missing boot and Cindy’s lost tiara. Not to mention a few marbles, ball bearings, coloured pencils and even a few toy soldiers.

Yes, it is the lost and found and I can’t be bothered to go and sort these things out right now. I’m a very busy young Mom and I have FAR TOO much to do looking after these hyperactive kids and my moody hubby….I loved my Mom SO VERY MUCH! Thinking of her makes me smile! 🙂

My Dad built an extension on our home

We called it the playroom and it was filled with all of our toys. It was lovely in the summer, it had a terracotta tiled floor and the door opened onto the back garden. Our black Labrador (RAF) would go in and out as he pleased, following my beloved ginger tom cat Sammy. In the winter though our playroom was absolutely freezing, so me and my brother would grab a box of toys…actually we’d grab a few boxes of toys, and bring them into the living room.

The contents would then get emptied out ALL OVER the living room floor and we would play quite happily or fight over things. Mom would find all our bits under the furniture when she vacuumed. Sometimes she’d find them down the sides of the furniture, under the rug and even behind the telly if we’d been throwing things at each other. She’d then put our bits in the box.

Two Aspie kids playing our own games

As we got older my little brother became even more disorganised and I became the bossy little organiser. He would use books to build ramps for his wind-up Evel Knievel and he’d mess up the playroom something terrible. He’d mess it up SO badly that I just couldn’t cope with it actually. My bedroom became my safe place, a place of calm and order. I kept my special toys in my bedroom where I knew they wouldn’t get hurt. Notice I say *hurt* and not broken. I’ll write a post about that another time.

Thinking out side of the box

I knew that if any of my toys, puzzle pieces, bricks or bits from the Lego models were missing they would be in the box. It was just a case of going and mooching through. There was always the risk of Mom saying, “Now you’re in the box you can put things were they should be!”

I didn’t realise that this method of lost and found, find and sort was something I was STILL using until a few days ago. My computer was returned and it had been rebuilt with EVERYTHING completely wiped off. Have you ever seen a grown Aspie burst into tears because her collections and projects have all disappeared. You get the picture, I went into shutdown.

I am extremely visual and I love to collect

I had so many files of images, links and quotes that I enjoyed and could recall when I had filtered through my mix up of thoughts and loops. I had slide shows I could put on of Art I had collected. Old photos I had scanned and could find in seconds to help me with processing memories. I had 100’s of fractals I had made, 3D designer projects and landscaping I had created. Also my SPORE progress was lost, I was on the last level and I really liked the world I had created there. 😦

Over the last few days I have avoided writing

I’ve not really been able to cope with sitting at my desk. I’ve just been doing stuff from my mobile and my netbook. I know how ridiculous this will sound to some people. Those who understand the difficulties Aspies/Auties have will totally understand where I am coming from. My computer is like a friend to me, now I’m having to work at getting to know it again. I don’t cope well with change and I’m really not good with loss.

I have been thinking a lot of a post I read about Lego

A LEGO Life by my Bloggy friend Richard at “Where Living Begins”

I read this post 2 days before my computer was returned and it made me really think about my life. It’s still making me think actually! The scripture Richard added was this…

To everything there is a season, a time for every purpose under Heaven:a time to break down, and a time to build up

(Ecclesiastes 3:1, 3).

Richard’s post is excellent, I love how he sees God in the everyday things. This post helped me to start putting my pieces back together. I don’t know what I’m building yet, as always the instructions have not been included, so I’m making it up as I go along. It’s an exciting adventure though. I trust God with this, He always provides what I need. I might not understand His ways but I can lean on His promises and accept His unconditional love.

I started a blog for my collecting

I didn’t intend to tell anyone about it, it is just storage really. But last night one of my subscribers from Alienhippy accidently found it and subscribed. Those who know me REALLY well know that when things happen like this, I see God-incidences. My storage and collecting blog is like my Mom’s retro box full of bits n bobs. I don’t know half the time why I collect what I collect, but I like to be able to find things easily when my thoughts start making tangent jumps and pulling together parts and pieces to help me move forward. To help me understand who I am in time and space. To help me make sense of the past and it’s pains. To help me share my journey and whatever else I feel God wants me to share.

Here is the link

Missing Jigsaws & Excess Lego

You can read more about this on my about pages.

Love and hugs.

Lisa. xx 🙂

“Uncluttered…What are you doing here?”

Hello my lovely Bloggy friends,

Today’s thoughts are a bit of a ponder after reading 1 Kings 19. I have had many thoughts about Elijah lately and I have read this chapter quite a few times over the last few months. This week I had an online Bible devotional come through that was focused on this very chapter.

However the devotional started with Mark 1:35

Jesus Prays in a Solitary Place

Very early in the morning, while it was still dark, Jesus got up, left the house and went off to a solitary place, where he prayed.

There are two guys I know

Both of them want to please God and both of them are emotional beings. They were created this way and God understands them. They have all the same feelings and hurts as us. They also have the same fears and anxieties too. The one guy I have written a poem about in the past I also painted a picture for him. He is always there when I hit the pit. He is so real to me, so open honest and transparent. His name is Jonah.

The other friend of mine, his named is Elijah

Elijah helped me to get through one of my worse meltdowns ever. God has been allowing past hurts to surface lately and things I never believed I would have to face are being healed. In prayer and through tears. God is so good!

Reading 1 kings 19 was a Godsend for me.

I felt totally drained when I got the email notification come through.

I really couldn’t be bothered to read it.

But that Still Quiet Voice inside spoke and said, “Read it Lisa!”

I said, “No, reading is too hard and I feel like crap!”

Again the voice inside said, “Read it!”

I struggled with this for a bit, but I know when God directs it is always for our good.

His plans are to prosper not harm.

This is part of what I received and decided to follow.

In the Bible we see many who experienced times of burnout. After Jonah’s miraculous delivery from the big fish and prophetic announcement to the people on Nineveh, he sank into a depression and wanted to die (Jonah 4:3). After Elijah called down fire from heaven that miraculously burned up the sacrifices of Baal, the fire in his own life went dim (1 Kings 18-19). Elijah prayed, “I have had enough, LORD. Take my life,” (1 Kings 19:4). Both of these men wanted to quit.

How do we avoid those same feelings of burnout? The first step is to realize that it can happen and does happen to the best of us.

What was God’s response to Elijah? Let’s take a look at 1 Kings Chapter 19.

  • He allowed Elijah to sleep. (19:5) – rest
  • He sent an angel to provide food for him to eat. (19:5) –  refreshment
  • He allowed Elijah to sleep again. (19:6) – more rest
  • He sent an angel to provide food for him to eat again. (19:7) – more refreshment
  • He caused Elijah to ponder what he was doing. “What are you doing here?” (19:9) – reflection
  • He spoke to Elijah personally. (19:11) – response
  • He caused Elijah to ponder what he was doing, again. “What are you doing here?” (19:13) – reflection
  • He told Elijah what to do next. (19:15) – redirection
  • He showed Elijah who He had appointed to help him. (19:16) – reinforcement

Rest

Refreshment

Rest

Refreshment

Reflection

Response

Reflection

Redirection

Reinforcement

Burnout happens when I focus on people and fitting in.

That includes me thinking too much about myself too.

Joyce Meyer’s fb status yesterday

“You can’t see yourself “in yourself,”

you have to learn to see yourself in Christ.”

There was a reason why Jesus went off to solitary places to pray.

If Jesus had to do it maybe I should be more willing to do it too.

My shutdowns are not such a bad thing if I give them to God at the foot of the cross.

But I do believe that if I was more ready to listen, I wouldn’t overload myself in the first place.

Love and hugs.

Lisa. xx 🙂

 

Blow your trumpet Aspie, be like Gideon!

Hello my lovely bloggy friends,

Over the last few days I have been feeling like God is trying to show me something. Like I had lots of little bits but I wasn’t really able to pull it together. This morning I was reading a blog post and in my babble of a comment I had a light bulb moment.

One of the things that I felt God was prompting me with was to read about Gideon. I also felt there seemed to be a connection, for me, to the parable of the lost sheep. Yep…I know one in the old Testament and one from the new, how do these actually link?

As always, with God, the more you try to work it out the further it gets away from you.

My wonderful friend Fi from Wonderfully Wired once shared this with me, what God spoke to her heart.

“Trust in Me, Lean on Me, WAIT on Me, and above all else…..BE still and know!”

Be Still and know, it’s in the still quiet voice.

So…how do Gideon and the parable of the lost sheep speak to me?

This is where my Aspieness is the story.

Those of you who follow my blog or know me personally will know that I lost my faith for 4 years after being indoctrinated in a religious sect. Those 4 years were the loneliest years of my life. I had always had a faith and Jesus had always been my best friend. People and their ways had corrupted my simple childlike faith and made God to be one big confusing mess. God is NOT about confusion but about peace and love.

I was like that lost sheep, I wandered off alone and I kept going.

It was through keeping chickens that my faith was restored, that may sound crazy and you might think I sound a nutter, but those who see God working know that He speaks to our hearts in the way we hear Him best. I would not have listened any other way, my ear had been chewed off by religion and the religious.

Also…there was a certain person called St. Francis of Assisi, he connected through animals and nature so maybe I’m not so crazy after all. 😉

So…what about Gideon?

First of all you have the account of him asking God for proof using a fleece and he had to ask twice. Now to me that is evidence that Gideon didn’t really believe that God was actually choosing or speaking to him, he perhaps had a low self worth. I can TOTALLY relate to that. I love God and I see that he works through all people, animals, nature but I find it hard to see that he actually works through me too. But don’t believe what I tell you go and read it for yourself. I could be complete wrong, this is just what I’m needing at the moment it might speak differently to you. Here is the link…. Judges 6-7

Then there are the trumpets

Gideon and the 300 men that God chose made a big noise with trumpets and defeated the enemy.

My computer and writing my blog is like my trumpet.

I’m an Aspie with dyslexia and I’m not very confident in my personal life. I have had too many knocks and been treated badly by this world. People I have trusted have used, abused and belittled me. But I have a voice now and I can speak, I hate the thought of others living with the ignorance that is constantly given to ASD’s.

So…this is my trumpet call.

If you are Aspie/Autie or love and care for someone with an ASD,

You’ve just read this post now think about it, YOU also have a story….blow your trumpet, hold up your torch let your light shine and smash the jar of clay that is the way this world has made you feel. Share your story the best way you can, and keep sharing it because there ARE people listening.

God bless, love and hugs.

Lisa. xx 🙂

Thorn in my side

Hello my lovely bloggy friends,

I REALLY didn’t think I’d be writing a post tonight, but God had other plans I suddenly felt inspired and I have something to share.

First of all can I just say thank you my lovely friend for praying.

“Thank you!” 😉 xx (She knows who she is)

.

I went to see my counsellor this morning.

I have been DESPERATE to see her all this week, but come this morning I was sat rocking on my bed worried sick about how to talk to her about what I REALLY couldn’t get my head around.

I surprised myself I actually managed it.

Ok…I looked at the floor and stuttered a bit, stimmed quite a lot but that’s fine, she’s cool with the whole Aspie thing. She listened and helped me find my words very patiently and eventually I got to the end of my 50 minute hour.

Next week when I meet with her hopefully I will have processed some of this and will have a clue to how I’m feeling.

I have really wanted to paint but I haven’t felt inspired.

Emotions usually help with this or music…this week, NO…NOT BEEN HAPPENING!!!

But today I read this in a study

Constantly search for gifts and abilities on which you can work. Don’t be afraid of change. It is a sign of life and growth. Change what needs to be changed, accept what you cannot change and quit whining about it! Don’t waste another minute trying to be someone you were never created to be. Stop questioning God’s design for your life. When an old man from the mountains of North Carolina was asked how he created such extraordinary wooden carvings of dogs, he replied, “Well, I just take my knife and a piece of wood and carve away everything that doesn’t look like a dog.” Learning to see yourself through the eyes of God is like “carving away” everything that is not part of the original design – God’s plan – and then learning how to accept what remains.

When I read these words I burst into tears

I remember being little Lisa before this world hurt me with all its prickliness.

As a child I wanted to be a Butterfly, Shirley Bassey, part of ABBA and The Nolan’s.

I was a happy, loving, trusting and VERY energetic child.

I loved drawing and sewing, in fact I loved making things with my hands.

I was a chatterbox, who never stopped singing and dancing.

I see this side of me when I am with people who accept me and love me for who I am.

It’s time to carve away all that prickliness, all those thorns that poke, prod and trap.

I thought of something to paint

I have my first sketch ready, obviously my painting will be abstract, I LOVE painting abstract, but this is what will be beneath my layers of paint.

Love and hugs everyone.

Lisa. xx 🙂

So if the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed.

John 8:36 (NIV)

There once was an ugly duckling.

Hello my lovely bloggy friends,

It’s always the same whenever I say I need a break, I go off to do all my things. Then suddenly get inspired and find I have to write. Writing helps me SO VERY much, it gets it out and helps me to process.

I’m writing this post to remind myself.

Back to the basics Lisa.

I write for me, I don’t write for anyone else. I write because it’s who I am and I have so much inside me that I want to share. It helps me to feel connected and I know that it helps others too. I like to feel that I am helping in some small way.

I should only write when I feel inspired to write, not because I’m getting messages and emails. I’m happy if people enjoy what I write, but I’m only human. I can’t always put words together, I struggle to answer my comments sometimes. I have to wait till God inspires me and then it’s not hard for me to do. I don’t want what I love doing to become yet another chore.

I’m just being me and that’s all I have.

I feel hurt when I feel judged, because what I do here on my blogs I do freely and with love. I can’t be expected to make others happy, only God can do that. Each person is responsible for finding their own happiness. I’m sorry if who I am or what I write offends anyone, people only need to read my posts if they want to.

Everyday I have the choice, I can get up and sing with the birds.

I have the choice to look for all that is positive in my life.

I haven’t gone to church this morning, Mr Locoman brought me a Coffee in bed and I sat and read my new book.

I feel a peace within my head today, going into the Jumble of Church would be wonderful for some, but for me today I know it will start my loops up. I know I won’t process everything going on, I have only just found myself. I am enjoying having only a few thoughts right now, so I’ll just stay where God has got me for as long as I can.

I’m going to do what will help me

I can’t read books cover to cover, my brain switches off and my dyslexia then kicks in. I have to read what helps me, what connects me. In the book I’m reading at the moment, the chapter I’m studying, alongside the Bible is titled,

“Relationships that will make your heart sing, proverbs on people skills.”

It is only 14 pages long. I know most people can read this amount in minutes, but I feel I need to inwardly digest these pages along with everything I feel guided to read with it. What really spoke to me this morning is the following lines.

Whom do you know who might look at you and say, “You are a mirror in my life, and when I look at you it inspires me and lifts me up and makes me want to do better?” Who would write down your name?

This made me really think long and hard. Thank God we are forgiven and Jesus paid our ransom.

While I was showering this morning

I was reminded of a song, I had a film visual rerun with full sensory emotional stuff actually…hehe.

I remembered the most wonderful memory. Just me and my Mommy snuggled up on the sofa watching the film Hans Christian Andersen. I also had the wonderful experience of hearing and seeing my beautiful Mom fluttering around the living room pretending to be a swan getting me to copy her and sing the song, “There once was an Ugly Duckling.” This part of Aspergers can be so helpful.

My Mom knew me so well, she knew I would hide just like the ugly duckling. God totally blessed me with the most wonderful mirror.

I feel this ugly duckling has been through too many winters in hiding, it’s time to take flight.

“I can do all things through Him who gives me strength!”

Love and hugs.

Lisa. xx 🙂

Not my words, it’s WORDLESS WEDNESDAY!!

Not my words, it’s WORDLESS WEDNESDAY!!

Mr Smiley said, "GOD LOVES YOU!"

Taken from my Bible study this morning, Romans 8.

LIFE QUESTION:

Which person do you identify with – the one who is struggling to please God on personal strength alone, or the one who is trusting in Christ for victory over sin?

Romans 8:15-17 (The Message)

15-17This resurrection life you received from God is not a timid, grave-tending life. It’s adventurously expectant, greeting God with a childlike “What’s next, Papa?” God’s Spirit touches our spirits and confirms who we really are. We know who he is, and we know who we are: Father and children. And we know we are going to get what’s coming to us—an unbelievable inheritance! We go through exactly what Christ goes through. If we go through the hard times with him, then we’re certainly going to go through the good times with him!

Habakkuk and Mario, what do they have in common?

Hello lovely bloggy friends,

Habakkuk what’s a Habakkuk?

It’s a book named after a prophet and you can find it in the old Testament. It’s actually only 3 pages long and it comes between Nahum and Zephaniah. Not a lot is know about Habakkuk except he was a contemporary of Jeremiah, he had active faith and was deeply rooted in the traditions of Israel.

Ok…I won’t go on, but what I would like to point out is I can actually read this book and understand it.

Why is that, when I struggle to read and comprehend most things?

I’ll leave that question with you!

Recently, I have been trying too hard.

Trying to think my way out, also reading too many ASD blogs trying to understand my own Aspie ways. My focus got messed up and Autism became too loud. I am me and this I find by seeing the creation of me as a gift not a disability.

Yesterday I chatted with my closest friend about EVERYTHING that has been looping around in my brain. Then I spent some time making fractals and listening to music. Talking it all out, with someone I can be totally myself with, really helps me as I am able to process the cycles my mind goes in.

My friend said something very interesting to me.

She said when her brain is overloaded she just wants to go to sleep. My friend is NT, so she can do this. This is such a strange concept for me. I can’t possibly imagine being able to sleep while my head is trying to work something out.

It’s ALWAYS the “NOT KNOWING”

The “NOT KNOWING” loop that starts up in my head is a real pain. As a kid I would ask lots of questions…. I MEAN LOTS and LOTS OF QUESTIONS!!!

Here are a few I remember;

  • Mom…what do you like most, Dragons, Dinosaurs or multi-headed monsters?
  • Mom…Who do you think is the best, Pacman or Jumpman?
  • Do you think it would be good to have Blinky, Pinky, Inky and Clyde in a game with Jumpman Mom?
  • We could even put Donkey Kong in it too, that would be good wouldn’t it Mom?
  • Mom…What arcade game do you like best galaxian, pacman, space invaders or Donkey Kong?
  • Mom…Do you think they can put a Dragon in a video game soon?
  • I’d like to fly on a dragon, are dragons really real Mom?
  • Can I have a Dragon one day Mom?

Ok…I think you get the gist.

My special interests were Dragons and arcade games. I asked my Mom over and over again, I didn’t need to know WHY she liked what she said she liked. I just needed to know she was interested in what I loved. She was my most important person, no one else mattered and I didn’t really want to know what they liked. I did like to talk about my special things though, I remember talking none stop about Dougal and the Blue Cat, dragons I had drawn and brought to life in my head and my beloved Atari games plus my gamer-play.

What brought all these thoughts together today?

A comment was left on a blog that I follow.

The comment was left by an Aspie bloggy friend of mine.

This is what the comment said,

“Just say Mario. If you’re asked why say “cause he is Mario!!” if he asks why say “I’ll get back to you in a day or so.” then ask me the answer. It is very long.”

Right now this is where I see tangents!

Habakkuk 3:18-19 (Amplified Bible)

18Yet I will rejoice in the Lord; I will exult in the [victorious] God of my salvation! 19The Lord God is my Strength, my personal bravery, and my invincible army; He makes my feet like hinds’ feet and will make me to walk [not to stand still in terror, but to walk] and make [spiritual] progress upon my high places [of trouble, suffering, or responsibility]!

This scripture pulled me out of my shutdown.

Notice our high places are of trouble, suffering, or responsibility. God teaches and refines as we go through, we are in the high place, next to our Saviour…what a comforting thought that is for me.

So, what have Mario and Habakkuk got in common?

“Jumpman” was also the original name used for Mario in the 1981 arcade game Donkey Kong,

Mario did not stand still in terror but he walked and he jumped his way to victory, he progressed to his high place, he went through trouble and suffering and he took responsibility on himself to rescue Princess Peach. He was a plumber but he was given a mission and he actively pursued his destiny….hehehe

Ok, you may think I’m a complete nutter, but this is how God created me.

Getting to know God became my special interest in my 20’s.

Why?…..because this world kept letting me down.

God is all about the “NOT KNOWING” but His answers are worth waiting for. His “NOT KNOWING” doesn’t cycle round in my brain. Reading the Bible actually calms my loops.

Just as the video games I played were full of “NOT KNOWING” they were also familiar, the characters became my friends and their pace was as fast as my brain.

The prophets and disciples are familiar to me, the Bible is full of “NOT KNOWING” and every time I read it I learn something new. But it’s a safe “NOT KNOWING” because I know that Jesus took away all the complications, all the perplexity and the wisdom of this world. He was a carpenter, His friends were fishermen. He made it so very simple when he said,

“Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of God belongs to such as these. I tell you the truth, anyone who will not receive the kingdom of God like a little child will never enter it.”

His disciples were rebuking the crowd they didn’t see the children as important. Jesus saw quite the opposite. He took them in his mighty arms and He became like them.

Sorry this is a long post, I do tend to babble!

Mario is a hero, he is also a legend in my opinion. Just like Mickey Mouse…hehe

The prophets, disciples and Apostle all left us their footprints.

But for me…I always need to look to Jesus.

Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. (Hebrews 12:2 NIV 84)

And..as for the “NOT KNOWING”

Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see. (Hebrews 11:1)

Love and hugs everyone.

Lisa. xx 🙂

“I’m just being me, I’m sharing my Bible Babble!”

Hello my lovely bloggy friends,

I decided to let you all in on a few of my thoughts while having a Bible study this morning.

Aren’t you all so very blessed.

I really mean that you know, I don’t do this very often…giggle.

So if you aren’t at all interested in this side of the Alienhippy, now is the time to click off and read something more to your liking.

Everyone else… I’m smiling at you.

Thank you! 🙂  xx

My Bible study starting in 1 Corinthians 1, let’s see where we end up!

I was thinking today of something my counsellor said on Friday. She mentioned that from a young age it seems to her, I started to feel responsible for everything going on around me.

Mom’s depression and Dad not understanding (because he is Autistic)

I constantly felt it was my fault that Mom cried so much.

Then when Mom went to college and then got an evening job, I looked after my baby sister and cooked all the meals for everyone.

Now I’m not saying this was wrong, it’s life, it’s the way it was. It’s just that I wasn’t happy at school. I would come home and I felt needed by my little sister and I could see that when I did all the chores it made my lovely Mom happy.

This pattern became part of who I am. I feel a need to look after and protect everyone I love, I’m not saying this is wrong either, I love that I am like this.

I suppose because I was never really very good at anything at school, and I left school not being able to even read confidently. I got a lot of encouragement in knowing I could love and look after people.

I relate to Martha quite a lot with this (Luke 10:38-42)

Martha worried about preparations for all around her, she took it on herself and missed who she was.

In verses 41-42, I imagine Jesus to say these words with love, compassion and understanding. Not in the way I have been taught by mankind. Jesus knew, loved and understood Martha.

John 11:5 (Amplified Bible)

5Now Jesus loved Martha and her sister and Lazarus.

[They were His dear friends, and He held them in loving esteem.]

If you have time read John 11:1-44

….for me this really shows the depth of loving friendship Jesus has.

So even though my natural state is to be more like Mary,

I do find my brain is constantly telling me what I need to do to make people happy.

When in fact it’s not really up to me to make people happy.

More and more I feel God showing me this, that He will bring what is needed and He will lead the way. I just need to trust and keep being myself. Giving to those that He has blessed my life with.

What I read today and how it spoke to me

I’ve read this scripture many times, but today it spoke differently to me.

1 Corinthians 1 (Good News Translation)

26 Now remember what you were, my friends, when God called you. From the human point of view few of you were wise or powerful or of high social standing.27 God purposely chose what the world considers nonsense in order to shame the wise, and he chose what the world considers weak in order to shame the powerful.28 He chose what the world looks down on and despises and thinks is nothing, in order to destroy what the world thinks is important.29 This means that no one can boast in God’s presence.30 But God has brought you into union with Christ Jesus, and God has made Christ to be our wisdom. By him we are put right with God; we become God’s holy people and are set free.31 So then, as the scripture says, Whoever wants to boast must boast of what the Lord has done.

A little bit of History on Corinth;

  • In Paul’s day Corinth had a population of about 250,000 free people, plus as many as 400,000 slaves.
  • It was a crossroads for travellers and traders, it had two harbours. Goods flowed through the city from Italy and Spain, from Asia minor, Phoenicia and Egypt.
  • It’s people were interested in Greek philosophy and placed a high premium on wisdom.
  • Corinth contained at least 12 temples. One of the most infamous was the temple dedicated to Aphrodite, whose worshippers practised religious prostitution.

In a setting like this… no wonder the Christian Church had so many problems.

It seems that a few of the reasons Paul’s letter was written were;

  • To break down the factions that had developed in the Church.
  • To instruct and restore the Church in its areas of weakness.
  • Correct the false teachings concerning the resurrection

When I read my Bible I like to have a bit of background to why it was written.

What was God communicating and who was He communicating to, and why?

Gotta love the Aspie questioning, and tangent thinking, it takes me all over the place. 🙂

So…some thoughts I have here

To me, Corinth seems very much like many big cities of our time now.

To fit we need to belong to a group, act as they do and be just like them.

But I feel God is telling me something different.

I live in a big city and I have always felt I don’t belong, maybe this is my Autism or maybe everyone feels this way…I don’t know, I can only speak for me.

I do not consider myself to be of any status on this planet.

But I do know that God loves me and He will guide me in where He is leading me.

I haven’t got a clue where that is, and I try not to think too much about it, it will definitely start up some loops.

I just need to pray to learn to trust in His plans, His plans are to prosper not to harm, to give me hope and a future. (Jeremiah 29:11-13)

Jeremiah 9:24 (I noticed this scripture for the first time today)

If any want to boast, they should boast that they know and understand me, because my love is constant, and I do what is just and right.

These are the things that please me. I, the Lord, have spoken.

You see I even babble in my Bible study, my brain never stops

So I want to boast this…I can read and write now, it took Jesus 3 months to teach me what school failed to do in 11 years.

God put a passion in my heart to know Him, and my Aspie obsessive nature took over.

I have a need to feed, all my questions.

God knows each of us and loves us for who we are.

He gives each of us gifts and we only need to look to Him to be and become.

Love, hugs, blessings and peace to all my lovely bloggy friends. xx 🙂

The first thing I read this morning

This made me feel so much better today, so I decided to post it.

Maybe someone else will read it and it will help them too.

Psalm 139

For the director of music. Of David. A psalm.

1 You have searched me, LORD,
and you know me.
2 You know when I sit and when I rise;
you perceive my thoughts from afar.
3 You discern my going out and my lying down;
you are familiar with all my ways.
4 Before a word is on my tongue
you, LORD, know it completely.
5 You hem me in behind and before,
and you lay your hand upon me.
6 Such knowledge is too wonderful for me,
too lofty for me to attain.

7 Where can I go from your Spirit?
Where can I flee from your presence?
8 If I go up to the heavens, you are there;
if I make my bed in the depths, you are there.
9 If I rise on the wings of the dawn,
if I settle on the far side of the sea,
10 even there your hand will guide me,
your right hand will hold me fast.
11 If I say, “Surely the darkness will hide me
and the light become night around me,”
12 even the darkness will not be dark to you;
the night will shine like the day,
for darkness is as light to you.

13 For you created my inmost being;
you knit me together in my mother’s womb.
14 I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
your works are wonderful,
I know that full well.
15 My frame was not hidden from you
when I was made in the secret place,
when I was woven together in the depths of the earth.
16 Your eyes saw my unformed body;
all the days ordained for me were written in your book
before one of them came to be.
17 How precious to me are your thoughts, God!
How vast is the sum of them!
18 Were I to count them,
they would outnumber the grains of sand—
when I awake, I am still with you.

19 If only you, God, would slay the wicked!
Away from me, you who are bloodthirsty!
20 They speak of you with evil intent;
your adversaries misuse your name.
21 Do I not hate those who hate you, LORD,
and abhor those who are in rebellion against you?
22 I have nothing but hatred for them;
I count them my enemies.
23 Search me, God, and know my heart;
test me and know my anxious thoughts.
24 See if there is any offensive way in me,
and lead me in the way everlasting.