The invisible people (I need to be accepted not fixed)

invisibleThe invisible people

We stand, we listen, we even try to contribute but we are very rarely seen or heard.

ASD is known as the invisible disability, but do you know what it is like to actually feel you are invisible. That your thoughts and feelings are not important. That even when you try to explain what is going on inside of you, you are still not heard. Or told you are being ridiculous.

Do you know what it feels like to just want to run, curl up in a ball and cry for the rest of the day. To be so drained you don’t want to think of anything at all, but your mind won’t let you stop.

To sit rocking in a safe spot away from everyone you love, because the pain is unbearable.

Do you know what it’s like to have everything spinning in your head but only be able to think of one thing…escape.

Do you know how patronising it is to be told you are just out of your comfort zone, you will adapt!

How loud do we have to be?

If I throw a chair across the room you might listen!

But if I try to explain in words, your words are more important than mine.

Maybe if I just keep quiet and go along with it the best I can, I will be fine.

I can just live in my daydream and think of the impossible, my fantasy world.

I will conform I just need to give it time.

After all, that’s what everyone keeps telling me.

What do I know? I’m just an invisible person!

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Posted September 8, 2011 on my other blog “Listening through the Loops”

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8 thoughts on “The invisible people (I need to be accepted not fixed)

  1. Yes, I understand a lot of it and I am not Aspie. I have sat all curled up and just wanting the world to stop so I could get off; it drove me to a stress center. The fact that you are coping at all is wonderfully amazing and shows your resilience. Don’t ever give up and don’t ever just play the game. You are you; you are not invisible; all of us, even the non-aspies need to let others know we have problems and intend to deal with them and may need help. If people don’t listen to what you say, they aren’t helping – go somewhere else – to someone else.
    Scott

  2. This web site is giving me great comfort . I have been alone all my life in the midst of people . The only one who understands me is my Aspergers son . He was diagnosed at 25 . I remember crying and couldn’t stop. Relief that his behavior wasn’t my fault . Sadness that for 25 years he
    was misunderstood . Rejected by his Father . After the divorce his Dad announced he would take the dogs , but not his only son. I , too am Aspie . At 65 realize my life has been a soap opera . I could write a book. Will create a blog when I learn how . I am a recovering alcoholic , numbing my self for years. Praise God for second chances .

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