A new loop, I love my normal

*CAL had a very busy day yesterday, it was her transition day at the secondary school she will be starting in September. We did some activities with other parents of SEN kids. She made an alien head with a balloon. They had only a short amount of time to do this, it was a race. We also had a competition to build a tower out of drinking straws and a paper plate.

 

I actually had a little bit of a meltdown about this

I didn’t realise I was so competitive…Honestly, I really didn’t.

But it really wasn’t fair the guy who won had twins helping him to sellotape his straws together, how is that at all fair? The rest of us only had one kid each. I internalised my meltdown of course, don’t worry, I am 43 now and have learnt the art of doing this while in public. But… oh boy, did I sweat up holding it all in.

When the buzzer went to say our time was up disaster struck.

The beautiful tower that me and *CAL had designed and built fell to pieces. Well I lost it, just a little, and threw it on the floor in total frustration. Me and this guy were neck a neck up till this point, I really thought me and *CAL was gonna win.

The teacher thought he was being kind, he gave us a few minutes to try to put it back together (with everyone watching us of course, just GREAT…all eyes on the Aspies) I got so very flustered by this. Then, of all things, we had to have our photos taken. Yes…me with a bright red face, sweating cobs and looking like I could kill someone. I hate having my photo taken, what are these people on?

Anyway I got home and actually shutdown over this.

I couldn’t get it out of my head. My tower, my beautiful tower, it was so much nicer and more complex than that mans. That was so not fair that he had two helpers, there should have been rules about this!

Can any other Aspies relate? Parents of Aspies maybe…LMHO

Well that is one of the reasons I lost all my words yesterday and couldn’t write. It’s ridiculous I know and I processed all of this today while cleaning out the shitty/kitty litter. I really do think Gandhi was onto something with this toilet cleaning thing.

LOOK…I know this post is not my usual sort of post, but I did say I was going to be real in July…maybe it might help someone, you never know? πŸ˜‰

This morning I took my son to get new strings

He has left college now and has a break before starting university in September. *AJ loves playing guitar and has a beautiful singing voice too. He has been so busy with his exams and revision he hasn’t played his instruments for a while. We went to get him new strings for his acoustic. The shop we usually go to for his guitar strings was shut, so we went to a new shop that has not long opened, and I fell in love, so deeply in love with a Mandolin.

OH IT WAS SOOOOO PRETTY…. πŸ™‚

I REALLY REALLY WANT IT

GUESS WHAT??? I still have my Birthday money…YAY!

AND…Yes, you guessed correctly, I have a new loop.

I’m not the only one either…I found this link while drooling over this image.

You Are So Beautiful. To Me.

I LOVE MY NORMAL!!!

*AJ repeating riffs, tabs and pentatonic scales on his electric acoustic guitar. *CAL researching Greek mythology studying the life of Icarus, because she needs down time after boring school. I mopped my floors and then allowed myself time to find all I need to feed my brain (for today) researching the Mandolin.

What I love about my Aspie brain is that I don’t get bored

There is so much to find, learn, do, imagine and create. Yes it is challenging at times when I feel bombarded in my senses, when I feel all the eyes are staring at me. When I see that rules are being broken and no one seems to care. When I need a friend to sit with but my conversations are too deep, too intense or too unrelatable. I have learned that after the shutdown comes the peace and a gentle voice to tell me I am enough. God created me this way, I am worthy, I am me and I am fun.

Open and honest….this isn’t much of a post. Real…yep, I’m just being me. It’s all I have in me to share today because I spent 3 hours learning about Mandolins.

Love and hugs. Lisa. xx πŸ™‚

I sing a lot of Adele songs with my guitar, this is the sound on Mandolin.

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11 thoughts on “A new loop, I love my normal

  1. Lisa, I really enjoyed your post today. I hope you don’t mind that I got a bit of a chuckle out of it. I loved the video. Blessings to you and your family. Wayne.

    • Hi Wayne, I don’t mind at all my friend. I laughed myself silly writing this post. I always love to look back on my moments and see how my Aspie brain can’t process at the time. EFD is a big thing and something I am still learning about. Some people in my past made me feel bad about my ways. I didn’t understand I was wired differently so carried a lot of guilt about this. I love that I can share these things now and not see myself as wrong or defective just different, not less.
      Thank you for your comment. Love and hugs. xx πŸ™‚

  2. I have to disagree…you say “this isn’t much of a post here”……YES it IS. Wow. This honesty and pureness radiates with positive energy. And I could very much related. Twins???? I probably would have said something to the people…..lol….:)
    I love how you wrote this. Easy to read and flowed so very well. I can feel the positive growth in your posts. Amazing, it is. Love you bunches. xoxo Sam

    • Thank you my lovely friend, so glad you enjoyed the read.
      Yep…we are so very alike in our Aspieness.
      Enjoyed writing this after I came out of my guilt loop and shutdown.
      Why oh why do our brains have to analyse EVERY LITTLE DETAIL???.
      Love you bunches too. Me. xxx πŸ™‚ ❀

  3. I know I shouldn’t giggle but I can’t help it, I would have reacted the same way about the tower πŸ™‚ ……….and I love the alien head! xxx

    • Hello my lovely friend, it’s fine for you to giggle. I was cracking myself up writing it all out. At the time though I was so very flustered. I remembered now why I hate board games so much…LOL
      Love you LOADS my friend. Lees. xxx πŸ™‚ ❀

  4. Pingback: I like lists, I learn from lists | Missing Jigsaws & Excess Lego

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