I’ve come to realise that open, honest and real are not really the ways of this world. Yes, there are some extremely amazing people who have these values. They are qualities I strive for daily in who I am in my walk as a Christian. Open, honest and real is what I pray to be.
Fear is a horrible thing that stops us from growing and stops us from being our true selves. It stops us from being close to people and it stops us being close to God. It’s like a deteriorating spirit that consumes and manifests in all we try to be. It eats away at us and turns our hope and joy into confusion. In my case many loops of not knowing, these loops will eat up whole days if I let them.
I went to church this morning
I faced my fear and I went alone. I went to a new church with a large congregation and I knew absolutely no one there at all. But I did walk in knowing God had brought me to this place and He spoke to me very clearly while in this service.
“It’s time to face yet another fear Lisa, you are never alone.”
The message was about two kinds of ships that keep us afloat in our spiritual journey, friendship and worship. I emailed one of my closest friends after this service and she laughed because she had also heard of a ship that keeps a Christian afloat…this ship is fellowship.
I have been pondering on this post for a few hours now
It’s what I call a hover-post, because I know I will hover over publish. 🙂
My mind has been trying to talk me out of it. But my heart is saying it is the right thing to do. I need accountability, I need structure, I need routine and I need self discipline. Blogging is my best form of fellowship. I have fellowship not just with other believers but also with other Aspies and parents of Aspies. I have fellowship with other artists and poets, story writers and journal keepers. Also through my two years of blogging God has brought close friendships into my life. Friendship on a deeper level than I have ever had before. But I feel that lately my quiet times have been a little on the lazy side. My worship needs to be more heartfelt. I thought I’d give something a try and do it the Alienhippy way.
For the month of July I am going to post every day.
I am going to set time aside each day to read, pray and post in open honesty.
Yes… this could go horribly wrong…giggle. I understand this I’m not stupid I know that some days I will hide and not speak to a living soul (apart from my kids of course)
My Aspieness can hit a limit and I will shutdown completely. But even from my shutdowns I speak to God and I do write down my cries for help from my pit of despair and not knowing. These tend to come as poems some are prayers and some are like the psalms. I can brave this Goliath in my life and share my calls to God.
I thought I’d start by reading about David
The preacher today spoke of King David and he is the inspiration behind my idea. I’m not saying I will stay with David my tangents take me all over the place. I’m not saying I will post scripture and Bible study throughout July either. I really don’t know where I’m going with this, but I think it will be fun. King David is a starting point and I know with my Aspie brain I need somewhere to start. My faith is very much part of who I am, it is the inspiration and motivation behind all I do. Jesus is in my heart, so in the month of July I’m going to share whatever God puts in me to share. I’m going to be helping myself spiritually while doing this.
In the month of July I am just going to be me
After all this is Alienhippy’s Blog, “A place where I can be me!”.
A song of ascents.
1 I lift up my eyes to the hills—
where does my help come from?
2 My help comes from the Lord,
the Maker of heaven and earth.
3 He will not let your foot slip—
he who watches over you will not slumber;
4 indeed, he who watches over Israel
will neither slumber nor sleep.
5 The Lord watches over you—
the Lord is your shade at your right hand;
6 the sun will not harm you by day,
nor the moon by night.
7 The Lord will keep you from all harm —
he will watch over your life;
8 the Lord will watch over your coming and going
both now and forevermore.