Lessons from everywhere

After the storm (Blackberry photo)

Driving home I had just come off the island when a large white car shot out from a side road. I slammed my brakes on hard and skidded to an emergency stop. I quickly checked my rear view mirror to make sure no one was going to crash into the back of us. The road was still wet from an earlier thunder storm, the sun had come out and the atmosphere inside the car was very clammy. Both of the front windows were fully open because of the humidity, so the words of the very angry driver in the white car came at great volume.

As he hung out of his window and waved his arm around shouting his abuse my mind switched off. My little girl, who was sat in the passenger seat next to me, just stared at him blankly. Both of us just waited for him to vent whatever he had inside him and then he drove off spinning his wheels, very red faced.

This is our conversation as we drove home today.

(My 11 year old daughter has Aspergers and Dyspraxia)

Me…”That man was very angry! Some people are like that when they are stressed and some people are like that all the time. They don’t have a reason it’s just the way they chose to be.”

*CAL…”It was his fault, he knew that it was his fault so decided to be angry to try to scare us.”

Me…”There are plenty of angry people in this world sweetheart, but there are also plenty of lovely people too. When you find the lovely people you hold onto them very tightly with both hands.”

*CAL…”I’ve already figured that one out Mom. Also I find it very odd when people say, “Can I be your friend?” Friends are people that just find one another and become friends, how can you make someone be your friend?”

Me…”You know what *CAL you are so very wise for someone who is only 11 years old. I am 43 and I have only just figured that out, I’m very proud of you. Also you know the author of your Narnia books? There is a famous quote of his on friendship.

“Friendship is born at that moment when one person says to another: “What! You too? I thought I was the only one.” (C.S.Lewis)

I like that he says that friendship is “born” I can see this now, it’s a living, growing thing that needs to be treasured and no two friendships are the same.

*CAL…”Really, yes I agree Mom, friendships are born they can’t be forced.”


So again I sit and reflect on…

Jesus’ words about the little children. I see that for me the heart of a child is more challenging than anger, manipulation or control. Pondering on the words of 1 John 4:16-21, thanking Jesus that in His perfect love we can cast out fear.

And for my heart I meditate on the words of

Lamentations 3:22-27 (NIV)

Because of the LORD’s great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail.

They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness.

I say to myself, “The LORD is my portion; therefore I will wait for him.”

The LORD is good to those whose hope is in him, to the one who seeks him;

it is good to wait quietly for the salvation of the LORD.

It is good for a man to bear the yoke while he is young.


7 thoughts on “Lessons from everywhere

  1. One of my all time favorite posts of yours! Truly a gem, sparkling in wisdom. What a grand Mum you are and what a brilliant daughter filled with light. All was so clear, what you said, here. I understand entirely. Double-love button. And the Lamentation it is so beautiful and inspiring. Thank you for sharing your authentic heart with us. xoxox Sam

  2. I am not a fan of when the words of an 11 year old make me think. LOL It does however speak to how good of a Mum you are. “Friends are people that just find one another and become friends, how can you make someone be your friend?” This line is a sudden shock of reality to my Aspie-ness I was beginning to think the only way to find a friend was to advertise. Thank you and your daughter for helping me avoid my desperation and remembering these things will happen in time, not my timing but the timing of the universal energy guiding my life. Keep sharing your conversations you might be surprised how many people they help.
    xx maryellen

  3. From the mouths of Babes. What I love most about this, is that from something hostile you both managed to put this incident into prospective and end up with a very positive outlook. Be safe on the roads, there are a lot of idiotic drivers out there.

    Love you all xxxx

  4. I know I haven’t commented in a very long time; please forgive me, my friend.

    This is such a wonderful thing to hear, both how the incident was handled and the amazing insights she shared. I was talking to my son last night about something that he is having a very difficult time understanding – he is totally stuck in his own perspective and cannot even see there are other possibilities, but then he told me about how he has learned over the last few months not to say bad words anymore when he is angry. It made me realize that he is capable of incredible growth and that each lesson will come in its own time and likely will blow me away when it does.

    Blessings to you!

  5. I think that I was lead to this post today. I do not handle stressful situations very well but I do better than some. I have been feeling sorry for myself of late because I do not have a single friend on this planet. I know that it is my fault because I lack a filter from by brain to my mouth and on some stressful days when I am in the presence of others my brain totally shuts down and my mouth takes over. I am an honest person and when asked a question I give an honest reply. This is not always the (right) thing to do. If there are too many people I get angry and if it is a one on one situation I get nervous. I pray for a friend, I beg for a friend and I promise God that I will shut my mouth if only He would send me a friend. God knows what is best for me and He knows that I make that promise in good faith but He also knows that I am incapable of honoring that promise. “Friends are people that just find one another and become friends, how can you make someone be your friend?” That is the strongest most accurate statement that I have ever read. Your daughter is wise beyond her years. Thank you *CAL for opening my eyes. I never understood the saying “You can’t teach an old dog new tricks” because I HAVE done just that. But *CAL has taugh “this old dog” that I just have to be more cautious and try much harder to be the friend that someone would be attracted to. I have tried to MAKE people my friend my whole life and never understood why they would not. Since I turned 50 I have started to pay more attention to my strange ideas and ways of “being”. I think that I must learn to like/love myself before I can expect someone else to. Thank you to all of the Aspies out there, you all are playing a roll in helping me on mu journey. God bless.

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