Two years ago today God brought a very special person into my life. This person left a comment on one of my daughters poems. I didn’t realise as I read her comment to my little*CAL just how special this person was going to become. I had to read that comment so many times to my *CAL and watched my girl jump up and down with delight.
I followed the link back to her blog
Back then it was called “Welcome to the madhouse” I wrote her a thank you email and our friendship began. I was not looking for friendship, I was in hiding isolating myself from all people and I only shared poems and art back then. I didn’t know that Fiona had been praying and she saw that God was working.
Fiona has been my closest friend for two years and in that time she has shown me the loving kindness I needed to open up and start to share the real me, the me that God created me to be. She has taught me to see myself as
My friend has been a continual support, a teacher, a friendly face, someone I trust, a comforter, a shoulder to cry on and someone to giggle with. She has prayed me through meltdowns and talked me through shutdowns. She has coped with my EFD moments, my completely loopy days, my panic attacks, my frantic thought loops, all my babbling and so much more. She has also been my prayer partner, my spiritual equal and has loved me enough to help me keep account of who I am before God.
I thank God every day for my friend,
I see her as a gift, a blessing and the answer to a prayer. I also thank God everyday for the technology we have because my closest friend lives over ten thousand miles away. Through this one friendship God has helped me to heal enough to be me, to take off the mask, to share me and to be a friend to others. I am growing each day and I see that being myself within loving and accepting friendship is what I have always needed.
Fiona is neurotypical, she is the Mum of three beautiful kids, her two boys are on the spectrum. Because she is NT she can help me to understand how friendships in my past confused me. She takes the time to explain what is Aspie and what is not. I don’t fear who I am in this friendship because I don’t have to pretend. Also Fi has an inside seat to the inner workings of my Aspie mind which she has told me has helped her to understand her boys so much better, and she also sees this as an answer to a prayer.
She loves me and accepts me just as I am.
I also know that she prays for me and my family every day.
So to celebrate the gift of friendship I asked Fi if she would mind me reposting a poem that was inspired by who she is. This poem is about the friendship I have been seeking all my life, the type of friendship God gave me a vision of as a child. I had given up on ever finding true friends and then God brought me Fi. I am now able to understand myself enough to see that friendship does exist and that God sees the bigger picture.
A Gift of Friendship
All my life I have searched, not knowing quite what for.
Trying to find a friendship, from a life I knew before.
Where friendship was not one sided and rejection just didn’t exist.
Where I could give without thinking and receive without having to resist.
This life was not on this planet, but I remember it deep in my heart.
It was shared with me in a vision, it was given to me at the start.
When God put me on this planet, He gave me the parents I’d need.
He gave me a brother and sister, and in His love He gave me His seed.
The one thing He forgot to tell me, was that people change as they grow.
That His children will not always be like Him, that to reap I would first have to sow.
I scattered my seeds of friendship, I shared my heart openly.
I gave till there was nothing left to give, but nothing came back to me.
My heart felt totally broken, I decided enough was enough.
I hid in a place where I felt safe, I only accepted Gods love.
Then a voice from Heaven called me, it said, Be yourself you don’t have to pretend.
You are perfect the way I created, I have made you the perfect friend.
You don’t have to travel to find her, I will bring her to you this time.
So, I stretch my weakened hands of friendship, and in both hands you took mine.
(As the poem explains, God sees the bigger picture)