ASD, Cats and Empathy

Hello my lovely Bloggy friends,

Kitten update…Those who are following my Wednesday posts will have noticed I didn’t post last week about the kittens. I will let you know why in this update.

This update I am calling…

They are out and about.

That’s right, they can climb out of the box now. Scarlet is the fastest and likes to chase socks and bite toes. Gingy is a poser and loves to be photographed. Nathaniel is a loner and we now think HE might be a SHE Nathanielle maybe??? I’m calling her Kitty at the moment but *AJ said she has to remain Nathaniel …it’s good. Sebastian is a snuggle, he just loves to snuggle into everyone and everything.

Here are a few photos and a short video from week 5.

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Now backtrack to week 4

I did try to write something but I was very sad as Mr PIB was quite ill and there was nothing I could do. The kittens were not well at all, they are a lot better this week and are very playful. They do still have runny eyes but they are not anywhere near as poorly as they were last week.

I sat down to write my post last Wednesday, but I just couldn’t share or find words. I wasn’t going to share the words I did manage to write as they are not very encouraging, but it is all part of life, and I feel I should share if I am going to be true to myself. I need to document this as it is part of me, my life and my growth.

This is a place where I can be me….isn’t it?

The ups and the downs?

These are the only words I could write last Wednesday.

I feel so sad, kitten update week four

I really have no words

To explain how I’m feeling

A kitten life now gone

Mr PIB no longer breathing

His little body limp

So tiny and now cold

Not much of a life

To die at 4 weeks old

On Thursday I wrote this email to my friend.

I have found the perfect place in my garden and buried Mr PIB this morning. He is under a small oak tree that I planted with *AJ when we first moved into the house. The tree was a sapling and only 2ft high, the same height as *AJ when we planted it. Now it is over 20ft but still looks like a young tree. I have my swing seat under the tree too. At the moment this area is filled with blue bells and snowdrops. In the summer it is filled with ferns. There is a small holly bush just behind the swing that is covered with berries in the winter and in the spring the daffodils are all around the trunk of the oak tree.

It’s a pretty place for him. I hope my other kitten don’t die too. They have had a little play today out of the box but they all seem to be sneezing.

I know you understand me. As Aspies we have loved animals because we had no friends and our pets have loved us unconditionally. I feel like I should write a post but I am afraid to. I will probably write out how I feel and journal it.

I would like to explain this the best I can

I have been made to feel bad over the years that I instantly love animals when I find it harder to love people. Part of me felt guilty about feeling sad, about crying and shutting down over a kitten. Bad things happen every day that I seem oblivious to and this is just a kitten. But to me he was a new friend. There are nasty people in this world who drown kittens in the canal, abuse animals just because. I really find this kind of behaviour so hard to process. It was a little life and I felt so helpless. I knew that if I opened the window Angel would have carried him off and left him to die alone, it’s a cats way. I didn’t want him to be alone, the thought of him being alone hurt me and the thought of Angel watching helplessly hurt me too. I paced my home and I wanted someone to make choices for me, I felt lost and I wanted my mom. She always knew how to make me feel better.

As I wrote to my Aspie friend

As Aspies we have loved animals because we had no friends and our pets have loved us unconditionally. I feel like I should write a post but I am afraid to.

I shouldn’t be afraid to share who I am

I know God loves me and I know there are other people who feel this way too. It’s a myth that Aspies don’t understand empathy.

I still stand by what I said in my “Toys and Empathy” post back in December 2010. The post about why I gave ALL my toys away to charity as a child.

Quoting myself here…hehe

I think that the lack of empathy thing is just a shut down mechanism of self protection because emotion is so intense…it will overload the system and cause sensory difficulties and eventually complete shutdown. But this is just a whole load of Lisa Lingo from my babbling thought loops.

I just know that when I gave my toys away it was because I cared deeply for children I would never meet, and I was willing to go without my faithful friends so they would live. I don’t believe that I lack empathy and I don’t believe other Aspies do either. But this is just my understanding.

Don’t tell me I lack empathy…I know I don’t.

I might have switched off love for awhile because of the intense pain I felt from the rejection and abuse of people. But animals and children were never part of my shutdown to empathy.

By choosing to love we choose to accept pain, but it’s always better to love.

Love and hugs my friends.

Lisa. xx 🙂

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7 thoughts on “ASD, Cats and Empathy

  1. I am so sorry for the loss of Mr Pibb. I understand how deeply and instanlty you feel about these tiny lives. You are so beautiful, Lees, to have such a capacity for love. The purity of it is radiant. I am glad to hear the other balls of fluff are doing well.
    Take Care!
    Hugs!
    Lori

  2. So sorry to hear about Mr PIB, Lisa. He didn’t have a long life but it was filled with love and the best possible care, so please don’t feel bad.

    Never feel guilty for loving animals. They are God’s gift to us, and we should always love God’s gifts.

  3. I’m very sad about your kitten. But I totally understand the empathy. Stephanie loves our animals so very much. And the weirdest thing. When our oldest daughter first met the man who is now her husband, he had a couple of cats. One of them got lost…the other one, “Honey,” they brought to our house, “temporarily.” Heh. Anyway, Honey is not the most friendly cat in the world. She pretty much hisses at anything and anyone that moves. Except for Stephanie! The moment those two met, it was like they were sisters or something. Honey is almost at Stephanie’s side every minute of the day. She sleeps with her (sometimes ON her) every night. Needless to say, that cat’s not going anywhere!

  4. Wonderful post. I love how you are out of your box and sharing many beautiful aspects of you. I am sorry for the loss of your kitty. 😦 Where you put kitty to rest sounds lovely. I agree with you on the aspects and thoughts on empathy. You are such a bright, bright light for the world. Keep shining. 🙂 Sam

  5. I totally understand you being upset. AJ’s Girl AC has gone through the same this week. Love you xxxx

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