The simplicity of being me.

Photo taken with my mobile

Hello my lovely Bloggy friends,

Being Still, making the time to find who I am in Christ, “Listening through the Loops” that are constantly cycling from the hectic run of life. This is something that I really need. I’m not made to be constantly stressed, I don’t work well when my mind is constantly looping.

I sometimes find myself filling all the gaps in life with things that don’t really need to be there. It’s almost like I’m afraid to not be busy. It’s only when I actually make myself stop, be still, ponder and reflect that then I see. I see that I can sometimes add worries and stress and make myself a lovely lot of my own confusion.

I wrote a poem just after my 40th Birthday

It is called My Shelf, you can read it over on my other blog, “Listening through the Loops” In this poem I talk about realising that my whole life I had been bending over backwards trying to make people like me. I’d only ever done what I thought others wanted/needed/expected me to do. I was one big people pleaser.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m all for helping others but not when it stops me from being me, or it affects my family and those closest to me.

Jesus very often would seek out solitude.

He loved all people but He also needed to find Himself with God. He needed to pray alone sometimes, He needed to seek God without distraction. Unconditional love can only be given when we recieve it. We all long to be loved and to love others, we need to remember to fill up our own tanks. When we are constantly running on empty we just become resentful. This is where I had gotten to when I wrote that poem, I couldn’t cope anymore with being the constant yes girl. Something had to change, I wasn’t being true to myself. I thought I was doing God’s will, running around doing all the deeds, but deeds without love are not what God wants. God’s will for each of us is for us to live life to the full.

This is the last verse of the poem, “My Shelf.”

It has been one long journey to deliver me at this station

As I’ve been twisted inside-out and tortured with frustration

I didn’t see, the simplicity, of being me, would set me free.

I didn’t see, the simplicity, of being me, would set me free.

It was when I started to say, “No” When I started to explain to people…

“I’m sorry, but I have a different idea and I don’t feel that this plan is actually beneficial to my life.”

It’s amazing how many people disappear out of your life when you start standing up for what you believe.

It’s also EXTREMELY WONDERFUL seeing the people who do love you just the way you are.

I’m finding that saying, “Let me think about it for a while I’ll get back to you!” Is so much easier.

Also reminding myself that guilt is NOT of God

Anyone who makes me feel guilty is putting too much pressure on me, and not thinking of my well being, therefore not truly loving me, this includes the pressure I put on myself. I can be so unloving towards myself.

I’m very grateful for the close friendships God has brought into my life, those who love and accept me for me, those that always help me with this. They help me to understand from both perspectives. Let’s face it I’m Aspie and my EFD, OCD, ADD and plain old sinful nature sometimes gets the better of me. 🙂

I’m learning all the time, I like to learn…it’s good to grow.

I was thinking of a an old poem I wrote and I decided to share it again as it was from WAY back at the beginning of my blogging days and I have a lot of wonderful new readers now. I have changed it slightly and added a different image.

Love and hugs.

Lisa. xx 🙂

 Only you Lord Jesus

by Alienhippy

Only you Lord Jesus can fill this gaping hole

Dance around inside my heart, caress my very soul

You took away my sin, it was nailed to the tree

You are my everything, your comfort sets me free

˜

Nothing can I do to deserve love so complete

I can come to you, lay my life at your feet

Knowing that you care for this life that I live

You will always love me, so my life to you I give

˜

I don’t know where you’ll lead me, I trust in all your plans

When I’m up and when I’m down, I know I’m in your hands

I’ll just accept the love you give, and know that it’s a gift

And all the songs within my heart, to you my voice I lift

˜

This world is full of darkness, but you make darkness light

With you I face the future, you give me strength to fight

You hold my hand you wipe my tears, I know you always care

Whatever I will go through, I know that you’ll be there

˜

You’ll give me everything I need, to get through trials I face

You’ll bring me safely home to you, protected in your grace

You forgive me when I lose my way, in all things that I do

So this will always be the call, to come and be with you

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5 thoughts on “The simplicity of being me.

  1. Your blog has been causing me to feel God tugging at my heart, and it’s been a few years since I’ve listened to my music prayed or read the Bible I thank you for reminding me Who it is that gives me life.

  2. You write, “It’s amazing how many people disappear out of your life when you start standing up for what you believe.”

    That’s oh-so true. Two years ago I started out on one of the most difficult, yet wonderful journeys of my life. I finally stood up for myself. It cost me nearly everything I had and was, and I’m still paying, but it also set me free to be my God-created self. If I have to make the rest of my life a lone journey in God’s Great Adventure, it’s better than being miserable.

    Thank you for being here, my blessed Bloggy Friend. Love and hugs to you too.

  3. Thank you, Lisa.
    You helped me re-member the things I learned (again) from my last reading of “Conversations with God – Book 1” I think I need to reread that again as well as Book 3 “Friendship with God”. Those two books totally changed my life and helped bring me to the joy I have today.
    Scott

  4. Tugging of the heart….I like what orangealien said! Orange and a Hippie….lol
    Lisa, you are amazing. I love how you explain things. Your honesty and depth. Simply Lovely. Beautiful poem. I like what you said about guilt. You wise woman with the coolest voice, too. xoxo Sam…..You NA….Hugs.

  5. I obviously feel that I know the real you. I know that lovely cheeky smile is Lisa. I love how you are and was telling my friend the other day about the Chimpanzee trick you played on me. When three men turned up at my door in wellies and waiders. Never change. We all have an extremely serious side but one of your strengths and qualities is your ability to laugh even when faced with adversity. Love you xxxx

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