So I’m weird, I already know this!

Hello my lovely Bloggy friends,

This post is just me putting my imagination and emotions to rest. I know this may seem silly and even be a little confusing for some people to understand. But to me it’s a way of life. I know if I don’t write this out or share my feelings I will not be able to get on with my day. Or do what I need to do. It will just loop in my head and I will feel bad.

I love my dogs and they love me.

Each month I go to the charity shop and buy both Zazzy and ROCK a nice new blanket. ROCk is a good boy and he loves his blankie. But Zazzy scratches at them and chews, sometimes ripping them to pieces. She’s not being naughty, Zazzy was abused as a puppy and when we went to get her we had to wait because those who had hurt her had stapled her mouth together. She had to have an operation and we wasn’t able to bring her home until the dogs home knew she was going to be ok. I think the chewing and ripping of blankets is part of her coping strategy, it’s something she has always done. It’s something I just accept about her, the blankets are only £1 each anyway.

Mr Locoman is on flex leave for two weeks

He very kindly went into our local town centre and picked up a couple of new blankets because he knew I wanted to do some painting. He left them in the kitchen for me last night and this morning I opened up the bag to find two wonderful, soft, thick, lovely blankets.

I took the one out and opened it up and it is covered in someones childhood achievements. It has over seventy badges very lovingly hand sewn onto it. The badges are from boy scouts, swimming, football, gymnastics etc, also visits to wonderful places of interest.

This blanket was once a little boys snuggle

It has been lovingly kept for all these years, the badges are mainly from the 70’s and early 80’s so I know the little boy would be a man about my age now, if he is alive.

Then my mind visualised just who he was, who sewed on the badges? Was it his Mom? What happened? Why has this been kept so long and now it is in a charity shop and about to be my dogs blanket that will probably get ripped up. I have a whole film in my head of this and I can’t seem to stop the visual replay. I actually feel quite emotional about it all.

They say that we don’t understand empathy

Today I feel sad for someone I don’t even know. This blanket was very special to a little boy and kept because it has all his wonderful memories on it. He may have struggled to do these things.

I still believe that Aspies switch off empathy because we hurt for everyone and everything. Or we don’t see the signs and this makes us look like we don’t care, later feeling terrible because we miss things that are important. Or is this just me, I don’t really know?

I do know though that by sharing this and giving it to God I don’t have to hold on to someone else’s memories on a blanket. I can pray for whomever he was and give thanks for his life and the life of the person who loved him enough to treasure his memories on a blankie for all these years.

Love and hugs.

Lisa. xx 🙂

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9 thoughts on “So I’m weird, I already know this!

  1. Oh wow! I’d love to know the story behind that blankie too!

    And about the empathy thing….. I have noticed that my boy DOES have empathy, he just SHOWS it differently. He was really concerned about his little brother who fell and skinned his knees this week. A child without empathy wouldn’t do that .
    Great post Lees xxxx

    • Thank you my lovely friend, I knew you’d get it.
      I’m still not wanting to give it to Zaz at the moment though.
      I wish sometimes I could switch my brain off, or not feel.
      *Harley is a lovely boy and so is *Lucas, and your lovely *Ella too.
      Love you. Lees. xxxx

  2. “I still believe that Aspies switch off empathy because we hurt for everyone and everything. Or we don’t see the signs and this makes us look like we don’t care, later feeling terrible because we miss things that are important. Or is this just me, I don’t really know?”

    Lees,

    I started to tear up and play the movie in my head of what you described. I felt every emotion and it hurts and is happy at the same time. I am highly emotional right now. And several things I have read triggered deep emotions, but it was very good to read this.

    What I find interesting is that some people throw these kinds of things away without a care. Once they grow up they no longer have that attachment and they forget the precious time, love, and work that goes into creating something like this blanket. All the treasured memories in each patch. Every detail of the adventure that can be replayed or written into a fabulous story. It makes me want to find the person and get to know them.

    For me this post ties into my post about being childlike. It is confirming for me and comforting. I was feeling anxious about that post for some reason. As adults we tend to lose that wonder, excitement, awe, curiosity, love for the simple, and keep our imaginations running wild. Well…not all of us lose it we just hide it very well and pretend to be grown-ups. 🙂

    Love you!!!
    Angel

    • You are so lovely Angel, we are so very alike with things like this.
      I’m so sorry you absorbed my emotions, I didn’t think about that.
      I hope you are ok.
      Love you my lovely friend.
      Lees. xxx 🙂 ……..8

  3. This is certainly material for looping, Lisa!
    And why didn’t anyone want to snip off the badges as souvenirs before discarding the blanket?
    The record of a life that meant so much is now discarded so easily.
    I hope it was the man himself who chucked the blanket
    because he now feels he has moved on and is happy and content in his new role.
    Oh well, I’ll just have to give it to God in prayer, too, or I will also be looping all day! 🙂

  4. I have my own theory on this. Although I cannot generalise as I’m sure all Aspies are different in their own unique way. I feel that Aspies can and do have probably more empathy and think a lot deeper than your average Neuro Typical. Wearing a mask is a form of self preservation and so is detaching yourself from experiences. I believe that because you would otherwise take on the Worlds worries, that the shutting down to emotions at the time is protection. It isn’t just Aspies that do this though. But that’s what I think, I may be wrong. Love you xxxx

  5. “I still believe that Aspies switch off empathy because we hurt for everyone and everything. Or we don’t see the signs and this makes us look like we don’t care, later feeling terrible because we miss things that are important. ” Yes! That is it exactly. What an awesome blanket. Makes me wonder why the owner gave it up, like you. Hugs ~ Sam

  6. You speak of empathy…our Stephanie has empathy with many people! She feels sad or happy for many people. She is a very compassionate person.

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