Aspieness…is my habit!

Image found on Google

Hello my lovely Bloggy friends,

Quite a few things have been going on in Alienhippy corner over the last few months. One of the main things that I have been holding onto and helping myself with is being authentic, being the original me against all odds. I was praying the other day and God reminded me of something very unusual but also very healing for me. I thought I’d share about this and pass on a little bit more of the inside workings of my Alienhippy mind.

Let’s go back in time, I love time travel.

Now…we are at my Mom and Dad’s home with some of their friends. We are all eating, laughing, singing, and having fun. These friends of the family are all male and part of the Franciscan order. They have taken a vow of poverty and my Mom and Dad see them as brothers and very often will have them stop for dinner.

One of the brothers is my sisters best friend and he loves kids, he has a gift of being a natural teacher. My little *CAL is sat singing nursery rhymes with him and *AJ is chatting his head off.

The brothers do manual work helping in the local community and the only pay they receive is kindness shown by those who understand who they are.

Jump forward a few years, after my Mom’s funeral.

We had a small get together after the service and quite a few of Mom’s work friends, neighbours and distant relatives came back to the house. Me and my sister were playing Mom’s favourite music and remembering who she was. People were friendly but quiet, we understood this and was just going with the flow.

Now this is where I see a similarity

Mom’s friends, her true friends, those who knew her best, knew her spiritually. Those who were there for her while she was ill and in a wheel chair arrived later as they knew what would happen. Three Monks and two vicars, all wearing what Monks and vicars wear. I saw Mom’s friends, others saw Habits and Dog Collars and the room cleared pretty quickly. I mean you could cut the tension with a knife. I remember giggling and saying to the one brother, “Whoops brother *T you cleared the room we can dance now!” and he said, “It’s the dress it puts them off…giggle!”

Since taking off the mask I have noticed this

When in my confidence I tend to scare people away, I don’t know why when all I want to do is love and accept them and be myself. So I have decided that it must be my invisible habit. But those who do truly love and accept all that is me, get to know the many me’s there are.

I have mastered many personas, I have learned to imitate those I have respected. Each one of them has given me something special that will always be a part of me. I know how to not get rejected, I know how to act. But if the only way to stay part of the norm is to live a false life then I don my habit and wear it with pride. Autism has a way of sorting the wheat from the chaff, I feel safe with those who accept me for me.

Yesterday we had a massive problem to sort out

My Dad is Autistic and cannot read, he was in a mess and there is only me, my sister and my Mom’s little sister who really know who my Dad is. We know how he hurts and we know how alone he feels.

While standing in an office about to deal with the mess my Dad had been tricked into. (Vulnerable adult and way too trusting) My sister leans over to me, gives me a firm yet loving look and whispers, “Remember, we are Neuro-typical today!”

With this I nod and say, “Ok sis!”

My sister is the one who has to sort out all paperwork for our family, she deals with all the difficulties that being dyslexic puts onto both my Dad and me. I own my dyslexia, I see how it can be used to seek the positive, I see how when in the right frame of mind it is a gift. My Dad has been ridiculed his whole life and will never tell anyone he struggles in this way because of the bullying and emotional torture he has lived through.

I can act Neuro-typical, but it’s not who I am.

Every mimicked part of my being is also a little bit of me, I’m learning to merge them so I’m not so intense and extreme in certain areas of my life. I was reminded of a song I used to sing as a child, the lyrics and the video really do capture a special part of my Me-ness.

Love and hugs.

Lisa. xx 🙂

Galatians 3:26-29 (GNT)

It is through faith that all of you are God’s children in union with Christ Jesus. You were baptized into union with Christ, and now you are clothed, so to speak, with the life of Christ himself. So there is no difference between Jews and Gentiles, between slaves and free people, between men and women; you are all one in union with Christ Jesus. If you belong to Christ, then you are the descendants of Abraham and will receive what God has promised.

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6 thoughts on “Aspieness…is my habit!

  1. What a perfect analogy, Lisa!!
    Sometimes I feel as welcome as a vicar or a monk! 🙂
    I really identify with them because I am also on the fringes of society.
    And equally misunderstood.
    Is that because we tell it like it is,
    rather than how it is “supposed” to be?? 🙂

  2. This post had many memorable words. The confidence that sometimes scares others, the many “me’s,” the being NT for the day. Inspiring and straight to the heart. I did not know your father had autism. If I read before, I forgot, because of my memory. You are such a strong person and so faith-filled. Thank you for sharing this. You were right. I can very much relate. Especially in regards to the authenticity. Have you written about the dynamics of your mom’s and dad’s relationship. I would like to see that. Hugs ~ 🙂 Sam

  3. I was extremely proud of you both the other day. These things are difficult for anyone. This film has a big part to play in my Life too. It gave me confidence at a very difficult time and it will always be a part of me. It is very inspiring. Love you. PS I could imagine you doing that part very well xxxx

  4. “I have mastered many personas, I have learned to imitate those I have respected. Each one of them has given me something special that will always be a part of me. I know how to not get rejected, I know how to act. But if the only way to stay part of the norm is to live a false life then I don my habit and wear it with pride. Autism has a way of sorting the wheat from the chaff, I feel safe with those who accept me for me.”

    YESS! I can act too. It is so disheartening when people expect you to be something you are not. I find that some of my friends view Asperger’s as a “fad.” They do not understand the totality of me because I have built such a successful facade.

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