Hello my lovely Bloggy friends,
There are many things I have had to seek help and guidance for. Not all the help and guidance, from well meaning people, has been the best. Some of it, both good and bad, has changed my life, changed my perspective. I believe we can find positive even in the negative, we just need to see the lessons.
When it comes to my kids I am so protective.
What loving Mother isn’t though. When your kids are on the spectrum I think that Motherly instinct is even stronger. Don’t get me wrong I do listen and accept that I have faults, I know my over protection is also not good for my kids. I pray and try my best to change, it’s not easy I love my kids. I love them enough to deny my own feelings if they are not helpful and seek out what is best for them.
I have been having a few thoughts
I have been thinking about the help and advice I have received over the years. What has worked for my *AJ and my little *CAL and what hasn’t.
*AJ is now 18 years old and will be going to University to study Advanced Maths in September. He went on his open day on Saturday, he’s not a baby anymore but he will always be my baby boy. I was thinking about the early years, when I was on my own, with my little Aspie and his traits of ADHD. All the tears and screaming, hitting, biting, scratching, punching. Also how he would be as good as gold when with people he was not secure with. I have been thinking about all the times I have had to find new ways to help him do things that other children found easy, did naturally.
I thought about the time when I was in the religious sect
One of the leaders pulled me aside and told me my son was out of control and I needed to discipline him. He actually said, “Lisa, *AJ is the worse behaved child in the whole church. You need to learn to control him. If you can’t control him at three years of age how on earth are you going to control him at thirteen!” This was a big church with many children, it broke my heart to think the whole church saw me as a bad Mom with an out of control child.
I was a single parent, I went home and cried for hours, I cried until I was sick actually.
I hadn’t got a clue why my boy did the things he did. I just knew that he wasn’t always being naughty. That sometimes he was acting in the only way he knew how to. I did what was the only thing I knew how to do, I asked God to help me and I believe He did.
I’m going to get some prayer time now and chat with God about the ideas I have.
I know that my experiences as a Dyslexic-Aspie have helped others, so I thought maybe if I share some of the things that have worked for me as a Mom, maybe they might work for others too. I just want to help where I can.
Before I go I thought I’d share this poem I wrote a couple of years ago.
Love and hugs.
Lisa. xx 🙂
The College Drive.
As I drop you off on the college drive
An image I have of you, when you were only two
You were all I had in this world
I would bring you everyday
To play at the nursery
In this place of education
You had nightmares about Baked Beans
I had dreams, that I could better myself
And give you more
I watch you walk through those gates
In your checked shirt and baggy jeans
With your dreams
And a whole lot of living to do
I feel my whole stomach turn
I yearn to hold your hand
I swallow back the tears and my fears
As you walk alone
Into the unknown
“He’s only going to college!”
I tell myself….. over and over and over
I drive home, the tears roll down my face
I look over to the place
Where your baby car seat used to sit
I smile a bit as your smile plays from memory
“Beep Beep, Mommy, Beep Beep!” you say
My little boy with his toy steering wheel
I feel…. pride, joy, sick and overwhelmed
All at the same time
I pull over
“I can cry, I know I can, I have raised a fine young man”
It’s like your first day in reception all over again
I went home and cried beside your toys on the living room floor
You will understand, when you take the hand
Of your newborn
I have to let you go……..all by your Jack Jones
You don’t see my reluctance
I hide it with a smile
And for a while I watch you hesitate
Then you go, through the gate
And down the college drive
Head held high
I ask why? Time goes so fast