Learning to think inside the box!

Image from Google

Hello my lovely Bloggy friends,

I thought EVERYONE had heard the saying,

“Think outside the box!”

but it seems that’s not correct.

Here is a link to explain it…

“Thinking outside of the box!”

Funny little story here

I was chatting with my closest friend the other day, about my ideas for this post. We were having quite a giggle on Skype actually. It was all private because we both had our headphones on, we had our own little giggle bubble, only to find out later that I had forgotten to plug mine in. (What a donkey I am) My 18 year old *AJ had been listening to EVERYTHING coming through the loud speakers and we found this out when he gave us a mathematical nine dot puzzle and told us to think outside the box…LOL

4 straight lines, join 9 dots

I thought this was kind of freaky, so did my friend and then *AJ said I have been listening to you both since you first started talking. One of those very awkward parenting moments, where we both backtracked what we had actually been talking about.

Recipes for Courgettes comes to mind! πŸ™‚

(This time with my headphone actually plugged in…LOL)

Mom got BUSTED, so did my friend!!!

Ok…silliness aside and I’m trying to focus

I wrote a post a while back about my Aspie sleep patterns and how I see a connection between my sleep patterns and my learning patterns. They are like cycles! I gave these four cycles names to help myself to understand my own brain wiring. (Analyse much)

1. Airy-Fairy.

2. The absorber.

3. Loopy-Leesy-Loo.

4. The retreat.

This is the link to that post if you want to read it. “My Aspie sleep patterns,Β revisited.”

In all of these learning cycles I have many loops of thought, it’s only when I shutdown, go into retreat that my amount of thought patterns alter. I have only one thought once I have shutdown. That is to find the light again. But I STILL have one thought.

I wrote about my experience of shutdown here… “Me and my loops”

While reading this post the other day

I left a comment for the writer about something she hit on that I TOTALLY related to.

Aspergers Girls mentioned that she asked her hubby what he was thinking and he said, “nothing.”

“NOTHING!”

I really don’t understand how it is possible to think nothing. I asked Mr Locoman about this and he said he can think of nothing too, he does this quite often.

When I asked my little *CAL the same question she actually burst out laughing and said, “Of course it is impossible to think about nothing, we breathe and move and that creates thought. To think of nothing is ridiculous!” Yes she is Aspie, she went on to the scientific ideas and evidence of brain and movement and how just moving her fingers makes for even more creative thinking. Then she zoned back to watching her cartoons, bless her. (she is 11 years old)

Added extra while editing…

*AJ just went into the kitchen and stared at the wall trying to think nothing. He said it can’t be done, end of story! (Not diagnosed but OH.SO.ASPIE)

Now my Aspie sister just popped in with a tin of tuna, eggs and left over stirfry.

I asked her the same question. She screwed her face up and said, “NOOOOO, you can’t think nothing!” I said to her, “According to some people you can!” She again screwed her face up and said, “That’s not right!” She just left and will probably loop on that thought and write her own post on her blog about it.

I know I’m babbling, bear with me, there is a point I think

Ok…I have noticed many times that when I am in the presence of an emotionally charged person I absorb. It’s the only way of explaining it. It’s not mimicking I mimic out of insecurity, this is more like a sympathetic, empathetic, spiritual awareness. Let’s call it “SESA” for short shall we?! Yet more Lisa Lingo…haha (Any clever folk that can give it the proper name, I will be grateful)

This “SESA” can’t be processed and I find it will fix itself in my many, many, many looping thoughts.

This overload of excess emotion then become like part of me. Whatever I try to do it is mixed up in the fabric of my own awareness. Things I can do easily with a clear mind become extremely difficult or even impossible. I can then end up hating doing what I was loving when I started. Objects, belongings and my creations, or even jobs I am doing all become part of that overload. This can feel very negative and affects my Aspie-happy.

So this is where thinking inside the box is helpful

I AM ME! THIS IS MY BOX! THIS IS MY SAFE PLACE! I AM SAFE IN MY SAFE PLACE!

Only kidding….giggle giggle snort!

(Well it is sort of like that, with arm movements) πŸ™‚

I think a lot of Aspies/Auties think outside of the box constantly

We see in great detail and go off on tangents that no one else can see. In our own little worlds, undisturbed in our comfort zones we can make, create, invent and solve the most amazing things.

We have trouble with communication

But we find ways of developing our own system that is totally understandable to us and to those who love and accept us.

Taking time each day to be still, is what helps me

I try to do this in prayer throughout my day now, short breaks where I ground myself and release. If I feel I am overwhelmed or I may have absorbed too much mental, physical, emotional or even spiritual baggage I put it back in the box it belongs. I mentally picture the person, experience, environment it belongs to and I place it back in that mental box. It’s not mine to carry and I will not allow it to drain me.

This is where my Faith and my Aspieness hold hands

I am extremely visual and have a very vivid imagination. Praying through this helps me because I give the difficulties to God for whoever they belongs to. I also get strength, guidance and peace from prayer which helps me to see clearly what I can or cannot do to help the person who I have absorbed emotions from. As a Christian I will never walk away from those I feel God has brought to me. I will help in any way I can, in any way I feel God is helping me to understand.

I know this post seems a little strange

It’s the sort of thing most people don’t want to talk about

But I just wanted to put this out there to others. I was wondering if any other Aspies, or parents of those on the spectrum had noticed this too. If you have please leave a comment or if you are not wanting to comment publically please feel free to email me, my email address you will find on my contact page above. I would very much appreciate feed back.

Love and hugs.

Lisa. xx πŸ™‚

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16 thoughts on “Learning to think inside the box!

  1. First & foremost, it is impossible to think of Nothing. I try to think outside the box especially when I find something or someone hard to understand. I suppose “the bigger picture” But we all think differently. I do put things in boxes mentally, as puts things in a proper prospective. Love you xxxx

  2. Lees,

    I just got out of the box!! Lol! Just kidding. πŸ™‚

    My inside the box is music. I realize now that I absorbed a lot of emotions because of the people, situation, or place that I was in while listening to the music. It got ruined for me. My experience with God is through music. It is how my personal emotions are processed and it opens up my mind to hear Him clearly. I have been going into my “box” and have found my recovery time to be much quicker, and my ability to discern my emotions from others.

    Many things have been ruined for me because of taking on so many emotions from others that I could not separate from my own. What you wrote about “overload of emotions” has done the same thing to me. Since I have started allowing myself to be me this is getting easier to shake off. However, I am starting to stop and ask myself where did that come from? Why am I feeling this? When it springs up on me. And then I pray for clarity with what I am supposed to do with it. A lot of it is coming out through poetry or stories, and I am able to move on.

    My ex-husband told me that he frequently thought of nothing. I didn’t believe him, it turned into a fight. I called him a liar. I was not nice at all. I still do not see how it is possible, my mind never stops. πŸ™‚

    Love you tons!!
    Angel

  3. Doesn’t seem strange to me, but then you’ve got to consider the source. LOL I’m glad you got to do your own brain experiment at home. My aspie guy thinks it’s impossible to think of nothing, as well. I’ve been thinking about your word LOOP a lot. That’s what I do, but I’m more like a hamster on a spinning wheel. I think I’l call it Hamping! LOL I will, really, New word, inspired by alienhippy’s loop. Okay. I’m so sad and not focused. Probably pulling out of University as I don’t feel safe there. Long story which I’ll freely blog when I’m officially out of there. Hugs and love ~ Sam

    • Hello ~Sam~
      I’m so glad you get it, not surprised though…hehe
      I must say I am impressed with how quickly you have sorted out your Lingo Dictionary.
      Hamping is a cool word…I love my Lingo.
      I think everyone should use whatever words help them to be happy.
      Expression is so much easier for me if I don’t have to think of the correct words.
      Love and hugs.
      Lisa. xx πŸ™‚

  4. Sometimes people compliment my abilities to think outside the box. It always makes me laugh, because thinking outside the box is the only choice I have – I can’t access the box!

    As for absorbing emotionally charged people, I am the exact same way. It infuriates me that Aspies are labeled as having no empathy, because in many ways, the opposite is true. Some of us have so much that it’s paralyzing.

    • Quirky…

      “Sometimes people compliment my abilities to think outside the box. It always makes me laugh, because thinking outside the box is the only choice I have – I can’t access the box!”

      That line there needs to be put in a book of quotes, it’s brilliant.
      In fact I would like to share it on my Alienhippy fb page in my coffee quote time.
      With your permission of course. I will add your blog address too.
      Let me know.
      Love and hugs.
      Lisa. xx πŸ™‚

  5. Pingback: Watching from the sidelines | Listening through the Loops

  6. “I have noticed many times that when I am in the presence of an emotionally charged person I absorb. It’s the only way of explaining it. It’s not mimicking I mimic out of insecurity, this is more like a sympathetic, empathetic, spiritual awareness. ”

    Oh, yes! My father, son, husband and I are all like that. It is wonderful when the people in your life are doing well, but a sullen moment is deeply disturbing.

    I find I have a great deal of trouble coping with my son’s wild, angry returns from school. I need to work extra hard not to be spun into the tension.

    Self-soothing, through prayer, meditiation, and art are the best weapons for this. A muffled, quiet “in the box” if you would! πŸ™‚

    • Lori…we are very alike, it always surprises me when I share and people get it.
      It’s like I have waited my whole life to find people who understand me.
      Thinking I am totally Alien and then finding other just like me.
      Thank you for your comment my friend.
      Love and hugs.
      Lisa. xx πŸ™‚

  7. Oh My! I do that all the time. It’s exhausting. I could be having a perfectly good day at work, and one emotionally charged person can put me right into a tailspin. I’ve been going ’round and ’round trying to figure out how to protect myself from this, not wanting to admit that I can’t. I have never been able to shield myself from the emotional charge of another – boo.

    I hadn’t thought of using imagination and prayer to “give it back” as you say.

    Thank You. I am going to try that.
    Peace,
    Danyelle

    • Hi Danyelle,
      What I have started to do is recognise who these people are in my life and then plan break times. I can then walk away from the overspill and sit quietly focused on placing it back with them so I don’t taint the other things in my day.
      It is working for me. I hope it helps you too.
      Love and hugs.
      Lisa. xx πŸ™‚

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