About those two ugly words

Hello my lovely bloggy friends,

This is a post I wrote a while back, I found it today and enjoyed reading it. So, I thought I’d repost it!


I have been wanting to write this post ALL day today. It seems that every time I got onto the computer something else distracted me and consumed HUGE amounts of time causing me to lose my train of thought.

Yesterday I had an online Bible study sent through that really, REALLY helped me to resolve some of my past hurts caused by religion.

Those who follow my blog know that for some time I was in a religious sect, you also know that I’m a Christian and every day seek to find my way to be and become God’s will for my life. It’s not easy, but it’s worth it.

Those who have been in a controlling religious group,

will know, all too well, what it feels like when you hear two certain words,

but keep reading… this may help, it certainly helped me.

The two words I refer to are…..



Yep….NOT nice are they!

I have been avoiding reading scripture with these words in for SOME time now.

As an Aspie I don’t just read the words,

I end up going through the whole experience again.

Seeing the people who twisted scripture on me and hearing their voices.

Even feeling the same emotions I was made to go through.

I have tried reading different translations of the Bible that does help.

Also praying for these people and the accountability they were put under to project these scriptures in this way.

Fear is NOT of God.

Submission and accountability is OFFERED out of love, it is NOT put upon a person.

I’m not going to quote scripture or even quote from my Bible study

I’m going to tell you a memory that was brought on by my Bible study, and I believe the way God has helped me to understand what He wants me to understand.


A memory and a lesson.

When I was a kid my Mom and Dad had a caravan that they took to the nearest seaside town at every opportunity they got.

At this seaside place the sea only comes in for a short time, and there is a LOT of mud to wade through to get from the sand to the sea when it’s out.

Well this never seemed to stop my Mom, she was such fun and she liked to float around on an inner tube.

We’d time it just right and get to the beach when the sea was in.

Mom would go off floating.

Remember she did have an Autistic Husband and three Aspie kids, I’m sure she needed the solitude after being in such a small caravan with us all….giggle.

Now let me explain something here

My Mom was deaf in one ear and had such bad hearing and ear problems she had to block her ears with ear plugs to stop water infecting them. She also used to wear these ridiculously silly swimming hats with flowers all over them… but at least we could see her bobbing around….giggle.

Me, my brother and my Dad, sometimes even my Nan and Grandad too.

Would be sitting, playing on the beach or flying kites and Mom was floating and probably falling asleep.

Every now and then one of the adults would shout her and tell her to kick and paddle herself back up the beach as the tide was taking her side ways.

One time the sea went out quite a distance

Mom couldn’t hear us all calling her, my Dad waded through all the mud and called again.

Mom still couldn’t hear.

So my Dad swam out and brought her back.


Godly accountability is NOT about control.

Submission is something a person chooses to offer out of love.

As I think now………………

On the words submission and accountability.

As an Aspie I’m good at following rules, so I really do need to think!

I need to think, contemplate, wonder and pray….before offering to be accountable to someone who uses the word submit.

AND…maybe ask myself.

Will this person wade through deep mud and swim in cold water to fetch me because I’m heading, drifting in the wrong direction?


11 thoughts on “About those two ugly words

    • Thanks LeRoy,
      The good thing about bad experiences is we learn from them.
      Yep…those words were very hard for me to cope with, they became triggers.
      Thank God for His patience, grace and unconditional love.
      Without Jesus as my friend I don’t know how I would be able to see the good that can shine through all situations.
      Love and hugs my friend. xx πŸ™‚

    • Hello lovely Tilly,
      My Dad swims like a fish my friend. πŸ™‚
      At 69 years of age he still climbs trees and rides a push bike.
      I think the Autistic forever child in him keeps him pretty fit.
      Love and hugs. xx πŸ™‚

  1. Hello lovely Lisa,

    I well remember this post from when you put it up before. Your Dad just did the right thing, without weighing the pros and cons. I think we aspie/auties do that. We are DIYers. He could have dithered on the beach wondering if he should call out the Lifeboat, but he just dove in there and did what was right. I think we are used to DIY, perhaps because we often have trouble connecting and so we become more self-reliant and self-sufficient. And we have a strong sense of β€œwhat is right.”

    As to submission and accountability, I think we, because we find life more puzzling, are prone to jump for answers, and it is only later that our inquisitive minds say, β€œhey wait a minute, just what is going on here?” and then we are out of there as soon as we realize they don’t have the answer at all. So our restless minds get us into cults, but they get us out pretty fast too! πŸ™‚ (and four years is pretty fast in the cult world).

    Yes, a great question to ask at all decision points in our lives: “will this person wade through deep mud and swim in cold water to fetch me.” I shall remember that. Thank you.
    Love and hugs,

    • Hello lovely Bruce,
      I giggled at what you said, “We are DIYers” I LOVE flatpacks they are like big jigsaws to me. πŸ™‚
      Also, I think once I could read I was too inquisitive to just listen to what the sect leaders were preaching at us. I had to read it for myself, once I had a study Bible and concordance their words didn’t match up with God’s word. It made me quite ill at the time and after leaving I felt condemned for nearly two years. I can be pretty stubborn when it comes to conviction, if God is saying one thing and a person is saying another I KNOW which one I’m listening too. πŸ™‚
      I love getting your comments Bruce, you always make me think.
      We do LOVE to think don’t we my friend.
      Love and hugs. xx πŸ™‚

  2. I hate that you had the bad experience, but I love the story of your Mum and Dad that you use to illustrate your lesson. I agree wholeheartedly that you should not submit to someone who will not wade through the mud and swim through cold water for you.

    • Thank Sue,
      Bad experiences are what they are, but we can turn them upside down, share how God gets us through them and use them for good.
      Keep being you Sue, keep on keeping on!
      Love and hugs my friend. xx πŸ™‚

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