The old bench.
Today…I tried to find myself
I sat in our place and prayed
The old bench under the huge tree
Where you prayed while we played
But all that I kept finding
Were the tears that I never wept
When you left to be with Jesus
Locked inside my grief was kept
My true self never to surface
This world causes me too much pain
Not understanding its rejection
Never knowing how I can gain
From living here feeling so alone
Why do I feel this way?
I try so hard to be a part
But get abused and used everyday
I get left out and feel forgotten
Was it the same for you?
Is that why you sat on this old bench?
Was you trying to see a way through?
I wish you were here so I could ask
Why didn’t I think to ask before?
You were my Mom, so I never took the time
To think about your feelings and more
You had so much weight on your shoulders
No one understood you had to hide
You got cut off and had no one to talk to
Did our Autism lock you deep inside?
I know how much you loved us
It hurts so much that you are gone
Because I never got to tell you this
You were, the most amazing Mom