The old bench.

The old bench.

by Alienhippy

Today…I tried to find myself

I sat in our place and prayed

The old bench under the huge tree

Where you prayed while we played


But all that I kept finding

Were the tears that I never wept

When you left to be with Jesus

Locked inside my grief was kept


My true self never to surface

This world causes me too much pain

Not understanding its rejection

Never knowing how I can gain


From living here feeling so alone

Why do I feel this way?

I try so hard to be a part

But get abused and used everyday


I get left out and feel forgotten

Was it the same for you?

Is that why you sat on this old bench?

Was you trying to see a way through?


I wish you were here so I could ask

Why didn’t I think to ask before?

You were my Mom, so I never took the time

To think about your feelings and more


You had so much weight on your shoulders

No one understood you had to hide

You got cut off and had no one to talk to

Did our Autism lock you deep inside?


I know how much you loved us

It hurts so much that you are gone

Because I never got to tell you this

You were, the most amazing Mom


20 thoughts on “The old bench.

  1. You are such an amazing person. Don’t let anybody, EVER, make you even doubt that for a second. They are the ones who do not understand, who do not bother to take even a fraction of time to try to, who are ruled completely by their fear, who walk around completely blind. Thank you for this blog and for being who you are.

  2. I thought I commented on this poem, I think I emailed it instead. I love how you are able to articulate in such wonderful and moving ways. Another wonderful poem my friend. Thank you for sharing the treasure of a glimpse into your heart. Love flinging your way~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~:-)


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