Shutdown in a Supermarket…The Big Issue?

Hello my lovely Bloggy friends,

It’s no secret that I HATE Supermarkets, they are one of my most horrible of places, closely followed by the library. Notice the title, yep…I shutdown in a Supermarket!

On 14th June 2011, they closed down my Co-op

This was a MASSIVE change for me with my ASD.

In the UK the Co-op is one of the quieter supermarkets. They play very relaxing music and it is never really busy. My Co-op was where I shopped for 24 years, I knew the lay-out, the staff and this made shopping quite easy for me and my kids. We would enjoy dancing and singing in the aisles and scooting on the trolleys. The staff knew my *AJ as a baby and watched him grow up. They also knew my *CAL and knew of her ways.

We had to find a new way

After the Co-op closed I had to find a new supermarket. I tried one close to my home and it wasn’t a good experience. I actually walked straight past one of my close friends and when she called me I hadn’t got a clue who she was. I found that a drive out to a supermarket close to the university was best. This supermarket only really has students in it so the queues are quick. They don’t play any music and they tend not to move things around too often. I take a list and I’m usually fine.

Wanting to be back home

Today, I reached the car park and it was a lot fuller than usual.

I left the kids at home with Mr Locoman. My shopping list was EXTREMELY long, I sat and read through it and prepared my mind for the aisles and where to find things. I said to myself, “I’ll put some music on and pop my earphones in. I’ve coped before, I’ll be fine! We NEED to eat, after all!”

I opened my handbag to find I had forgotten my earphone….oh crap I thought, I want to go home! 😦

So…I sat and prayed for a bit…Then went in faith.

In the first aisle holding a box of cereal.

I’d not long been there when I heard an almighty scream. I mean this was real fear and it made me shake inside. I then heard a massive bang and turned around quickly to see what had caused it. There was a huddle of 3 men wrestling on the floor, in the doorway. All the shoppers just stopped and waited to see what was going on. Then the two big guys stood up and started to drag a young man by his wrists into the store. He had obviously hurt his face by struggling and he was screaming in broken English, “Don’t kill me, I not know what I done! Please let go, I hurt!” He kept struggling and repeating the same thing over and over and over.

I felt like crying, nobody seemed to care

Everyone just carried on with their shopping. The young man was dragged to the back room.

I was trying to process this because I heard him say he didn’t know what he had done wrong. He was being punished and he didn’t know what he had done. He was also bleeding and no one was helping him. I had to try to switch off my feelings and see the facts. They were security guards and they were doing their job. But I kept seeing the fear on his face, seeing him bleeding and hearing him crying with fear. It was in my head and it was starting to loop in my visual replay. I kept hearing his words, “I not know what I done? I not know what I done? I not know what I done?”

I really don’t know how long I was stood processing this, I was on my own.

I realise that he may have tried to steal something but his pain and fear had triggered off a memory for me. The feelings I was feeling were related to my own feelings. I didn’t know if he was or wasn’t telling the truth. He was crying and he was scared.

There is a lady that sells “The Big Issue”

She was stood outside the supermarket, she always is. Usually she will have her little boy with her. He is about 4 years old, I usually get him some chocolate or a packet of crisps out my trolley when I leave. He likes to climbs on the lines of trolleys, he’s very sweet.

Today it was raining and she was stood getting wet under the tree that now has no leaves to shelter her. She never calls out, “Big Issue!” she knows no one sees her. Those who will see her, will go to her. She doesn’t speak English, but she speaks in smiles and with her eyes.

In the car before I drove home

I thought about this post and how I would write it and what would my point be.

So often I stand and stare and wonder/ponder to why the world and people just keep moving?

How come they don’t feel, see or freeze like I do?

Is it just my ASD that causes me to stop and have to process?

Then I thought about school and all the times I froze and had to stare out the window and lose myself in clouds. I couldn’t cope with the shouting of the teachers. I hated hearing the other children being told off. I would zone out and then lock myself in a toilet and wait till I could think again. If I zoned out in a classroom, I was told to pay attention. I was shouted at to pay attention, told I was being lazy. Even told I was being stupid.

I didn’t know I wasn’t paying attention.

For me I get lost in the process and time just goes by.

My Big Issue….I hate supermarkets.

But I’m not living on the street, standing in the rain, watching people who don’t see me!


13 thoughts on “Shutdown in a Supermarket…The Big Issue?

  1. yes Lisa you went from a peaceful shopping place to a place where everyone goes .That can be hectic at times We all have our favorite places to shop..It was to bad that those guards had to fight with the customer .He probably shop lifted something .there’s too much of that going on .We pay for that in our things we buy there .So they had every right to do what they did .He likely put up a fight to get away and it go out of hand .take care

  2. It is possible he came from a country where the authorities are brutal and feared, which would explain why he was so afraid. The supermarket security guards won’t have hurt him, so his fear will have subsided.

    You are sensitive to those around you and, while it can be hard on you, the world is a better place for your sensitivity.

    • You are so lovely Tilly, I thought that very thought.
      Why is he so scared, what would they do to him in his country.
      It hurt me so much to watch him cry, hear his words and feel his fear.
      Even over a week later I am still processing it.
      Thank you for you kind words and reassurance.
      Love and hugs friend. xx πŸ™‚

  3. Thank you Alienhippy for sharing once again so honestly, unlike you I like Supermarkets and Liberies, I have met some really nice people there, being disabled often people help me reach things that I can’t in the Mobility Scooter and we share together, with living alone it is something special I treasure but what you shared today would have also upset me greatly too.

    I enjoyed Amy’s song but it’s not an easy one to understand some may think God is happy when we are troubled and hurting but this is not so but He is happy that we realise we need Him and so call out to Him which I’m sure is what you were sharing like Amy…God is Love and can do no evil nor does He willingly allow it, but He does bring good out of it for those who Love Him and when we suffer He feels our pain and cries with us and also strengthens and protects us.

    I read some of your Poetry and it flowed beautiffly … do you think about what you are going to write or do you write freely ?

    I have a few Butterfly Stories for you but you may find them sad but try to look beyond that and see the beauty they comfirm…. the links are below…

    Blog Post -
    Blog Post –

    • Hi freedomborn,
      Thank you for your comment and thank you for visiting my blog
      Also thank you for leaving the Butterfly story links I will certainly be checking them out.
      I never really plan any of my writing, my poems usually come at the end of my prayers.
      I get a whole load of thoughts in my loops and I seem to know when i need to write it out.
      So I sit and I babble and I know God helps me listen through the loops.
      Love and hugs. xx πŸ™‚

  4. Wow, Lisa, what an experience. You did a very good job of expressing it, too. I’m pretty sure that would have freaked me out, too, and I can’t imagine how our Stephanie would have reacted to that scene. She definitely would never want to go back to that store! Reading your blog helps me understand some of what Stephanie must have felt in school. She has now been switched to a part time “homebound” program, where a special needs teacher will come to her for a few hours a week.

    I’m sorry they closed your co-op. I’m not a big fan of large stores, either. Especially when they keep moving things around. You know…it occurs to me that stopping and praying before you went in may have helped prepare you for what you had to endure that day.

    God bless you!


    • Hi Jeff,
      I’m keeping your daughter and her home schooling in prayer.
      I am so encouraged that what I share you find helps you to understand Stephanie better.
      This brings me a lot of joy and tears. I hate that she has to go through so much.
      I am happy that she has such loving parents who love and accept her.
      Love and hugs. xx πŸ™‚

  5. I too hate experiences like this. It is unfortunate that living in an inner City we do witness things like this at times. He may have stolen something out of sheer desperation. You have appreciated the fact that you are not in a position where you have to sell on the street to keep your Family fed. Love you xxxx

  6. Pingback: Oldies are the besties | Alienhippy's Blog

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