I read this quote today on Joyce Meyer’s fb status…
“If you want peace in your life, don’t exceed your limits. Nobody says you have to do all the things you are doing.”
My first thought when I read this was, well who else is going to do them?
That’s right I was thinking of all my responsibilities.
Then I thought of something I have heard so many times but rarely acted upon.
“People can only control you if you let them!”
I have been thinking on the word “LIMITS”
Having an Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD) CAN set limits, or more to the point, society WILL set limits. Social conformity requires that all people act in a similar way, depending on culture and upbringing. Limitations are put upon us and there is nothing we can do about it. Or is there?
I have been pondering on this today
“If you want peace in your life, don’t exceed your limits.”
The only person in my life, who is pushing me to be like everyone else, is me.
Why do I care what others think of me when I know I am loved by God unconditionally.
I am also loved and accepted for who I am by my family and my close friends.
I am very blessed!
I don’t even want to be like everyone else, I don’t need to pretend to be someone I am not.
For me it’s about breaking the pattern I have known my whole life.
It’s about changing the voice in my head, the one that says, “I am wrong, everyone is better than me!”
Limits and restrictions are put in place by controllers.
These limits, restrictions, orders are not for our good and make us feel small, useless and worthless.
There are also loving restriction and limits,
Healthy boundaries that are taught and offered to us by those who love us.
Those who know us and want to see us thrive.
I have NEVER understood limits.
If there was something to climb, I had to climb to the very top. When I start a job, I don’t stop until it is complete. I have made myself ill carrying slabs and cement that were far too heavy for me. I have been out in the garden at 5am in the pouring rain digging a vegetable patch. I have also swam that many lengths of a pool I couldn’t walk and fell over when I got out….that was REALLY embarrassing actually…giggle.
These are just a few, there are so many I can see now looking back.
Being told about something is not the same as learning about it. I have to experience things to understand.
The limits I’m more concerned about are these
I don’t understand my social and emotional limits.
I am now trying to understand the pattern behind my shutdowns/meltdowns when placed into over stimulating social environments. I’m very aware now that it is impossible for me to separate thought and feeling. I find it hard to understand some kinds of humour or if a person is being nasty.
Not always being able to read body language or facial expression will give added anxiety. This will then cause stress and overwhelm of emotion. This I will not read correctly and will over-tax my thinking trying to process it all. I will then feel over emotional and extremely drained. Also I will replay it all trying desperately to understand. While doing this I am draining myself further and confusing myself with things that may or may not have actually happened.
Limits on people and places
I am thinking of ways now to predict how I will react. Unfamiliar places are not a problem if I only have to absorb the new surroundings and don’t have to deal with new people.
Likewise, new people I can cope with if I am used to the environment and the expectation of whom and how I am to act in said environment. I learnt to imitate my Mom, and I don’t have to think to do this. However I do need to remember that when I do imitate, it will drain me and cause me to have to have downtime later. It burns me out!
Meeting new people in new places is FAR TOO MUCH and over time will eventually render me dysfunctional. Doing this for a short period of time is ok, but will have consequence. I can see and understand that if I fill a glass too much with liquid it over pours. Also I can see and understand that if I pump too much air into a balloon it will explode.
I need to learn my limits
My whole life I have been trying to fit in a world where Autism is invisible. I didn’t even know I just thought I was odd, thick, over emotional and a depressive. These are the things that people have told me and I have taken on board as who I am.
Now I know, I’m just Autistic!
I’m different, not less!
I read this earlier and it also explained to me that I need to learn about my limits.
What I can do without pushing myself over the edge. Causing that overspill or explosion!
We abandon our path when we try to walk down someone else’s to live up to standards that we have not chosen in a life that is not ours. Instead of living within our limits, we often judge ourselves for having these limits and then challenge these seemingly unrealistic boundaries and try to push to be better, work harder, and achieve more. But to what end? What are we trying to prove? We often set and try to live up to unrealistic expectations, pushing ourselves beyond the limits we have to try to accomplish more. After all, we want to believe that we can do more and have it all while feeling great! But how many people do you personally know who feel this way all the time and are truly fulfilled?
These are my thoughts for today, I hope they make sense.
I will let you know how it all goes, as I keep learning to be me!
Love and hugs.
Lisa. xx 🙂