The poem inside.

The poem inside.

by Alienhippy

It’s just a detachment disorder

I look and I long for connection

I seek so hard to find order

Within this life of rejection

~

Inside my mind I sometimes find

I’m lost with what I feel

Deciphering out all words that are kind

In hope that one day I will heal

~

I can REALLY get just so confused

By all I see, hear, feel and live

Constant survival to not feel abused

I look for the ones who will give.

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16 thoughts on “The poem inside.

  1. Do you feel defined by what you are? I hope this doesn’t offend, it’s a genuine question. I wonder if looking at yourself from a different perspective may redefine you.
    You as a whole not just what a label says. We have long lives and maybe you deserve more than that.
    Hugs x

    • Hi Angie,
      I have moments when all I feel is Autistic, but they are only moments in times when I feel excluded. Most of the time I’m just Lisa, Mom, wife, sister, Auntie, friend.
      It’s when I try too hard to fit in with the social norm, be like others, that’s when I feel defined by my difficulties. I want to be around people and be friends but who I am and the things I can talk about are misunderstood a lot of the time.
      I don’t feel offended by your question, it made me think and I thinks lots.
      I’m growing and changing all the time.
      Thank you for your comment.
      Love and hugs.
      Lisa. xx 🙂

  2. The Poem Inside ” .where you find the right words , I’ll never know .You are soooooo gifted Lisa .
    . I know you can bring out your true feelings through your poetry .It appears to me that you had one of your down times when this was written . Are you alone a lot ,Lisa ?.Maybe that’s not always a good thing for you or anyone in fact . Please no offence meant by this ,but we tend to dwell on our selves too much ,while alone .I understand that Autism is self . maybe you’re not busy enough . Look at the goodness in yourself .It must sound like I’m lecturing you ,but that’s not the case .
    have a nice peaceful evening Lisa
    please comment
    Blessings
    Eileen

    • Thank you for you comment Eileen,
      I can’t say when or why I have shutdowns, I can’t predict them, the slightest thing can trigger ir off. I write some of my poems to help me process and find why.
      I am hardly ever alone I have family living very very close to me and most of my time is spent with my kids, dogs or close family. I never stop either Eileen I have always got a project on the go, so I can’t be anymore busy. It’s just the way my brain is.
      If I am say at Church in fellowship, having coffee. I’m not always able to feel part of what is going on, sometimes it can also become very overwhelming. My mind will become confused, which then makes it go into overdrive trying to find solutions, so I go into my safe mind to protect myself from shutting down, or melting down. In my safe mind I can imagine the most wonderful things, this is where I find the words.
      I hope that explains better, I feel like I have babbled.
      Love and hugs.
      Lisa. xx 🙂

  3. You are gifted Lisa. It’s very sad but I think we all have a fear of rejection in varying degrees. Love you xxxx

  4. Lisa Flutter!

    I can’t get my thing to log out into to my Angel account, it is frustrating. :-0

    BUT I love this poem and totally am feeling it!

    I love you and thank you for being such a wonderful you!!

    Angel Flutter 2 (giggle, giggle)

    • Hello my lovely Angel,
      Yep, I know you feel this too, I’m sorry you do, but we both know now that it’s not our fault.
      We don’t have to feel like this anymore, we can experience it like we always have.
      We can write it out, so others understand, and little Aspies who can say it yet won’t go through what we have lived. We can help others understand what we never understood.
      I love you too, and thank you for being such a wonderful you!!
      Lisa, Loopy1 Flutter-flubber2….Narf! xxx 🙂

  5. Hello Lisa,
    You sure can express emotions. Your poems help me get in touch with mine.
    And yes I am sure you will heal. I think you are well on your way already.
    Sharing your journey is helping others to heal too.
    Art, poetry, writing, music – they are all very healing.
    And so is your faith in God’s great love for you.
    Thanks for being you and sharing your life with others.
    Blessings, peace and joy!
    Bruce

    • Wow, thank you lovely Bruce,
      Your comments are so wonderful, you always make me smile.
      You really are such an encouraging friend.
      Love you loads.
      Lisa. xx 🙂

    • Hello my lovely Fi,
      You my friend make my heart smile.
      Even when I am in this place I have two things I’m sure of.
      1. God loves me and will never leave me!
      2. You are my friend who prays for me, you love and accept me as I am.
      I’m very blessed aren’t I. 🙂 xx
      I love you too.
      Lees. xxxx

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