I’ve been feeling a bit cloudy!

Hello my lovely bloggy friends,

I have had quite a few loops going over the last few days and to be quite honest I haven’t felt up to reading or commenting much. I am still stuck for words at the moment so if you are waiting for a reply to a comment, email or facebook message please be patient.

My last post was about me venturing off around bloggyland and feeling quite hurt by some fellow Aspies and how I found a few who were very negative about anyone NOT Aspie.

There was another thing that upset me

I left a comment on a blog and then a more educated Aspie also left a comment and I felt this particular blogger undermined what I said.

I faced a lot of teasing at school because of not being able to read well. Also I got things wrong, a lot of the time, because the teachers didn’t explain in a way that I needed. I can’t read the books to learn about Aspergers because my dyslexia causes a wall. I don’t claim to be an expert in anything. I’m still learning how to be myself. I only comment when a post touches my heart, so this has been quite upsetting for me.

It really hurt that someone with the same condition as myself would do this. It has also made me quite fearful of leaving comments. This and everything else I have been dealing with in my life has caused me to shutdown over the last couple of days. I only feel able to comment on blog posts of my close friends as I know they will protect me.

As a child when I felt overwhelmed

I lined up my collections, did my sticker books or would sit spinning my ball bearings around on my tray. I still have this need but what I do now is get lost in films, make fractals or stare at my photo collection while listening to music.

My newest collection is my collection of clouds.

I love clouds they make me smile, I only take these photos with my mobile as I am going about my day. So, I thought as I don’t really have much of anything to share I would share my clouds and a new song that has helped me to accept that this is who I am, God is in control and I will come through this.

Love and hugs.
Lisa. xx πŸ™‚

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12 thoughts on “I’ve been feeling a bit cloudy!

  1. I’m sorry you’ve been having a hard time this week. Please don’t take it personally: some people feel the need to show off, to put others down, just to be mean, and the internet is the perfect place for them, because it is anonymous.

    Just keep doing what you are doing and being you, lovely Lisa.

    • Thanks Tilly,
      You’re just so lovely. I can see now that God used this to help me to get back into my art and cartooning. It was the upset I needed to shutdown for a while and get back in touch with a part of me I had almost forgotten. My stories and my doodles, they are all part of who I am. I was a little stuck in the label of Autism, but that’s not all I am.
      Thank you for always reading my posts Tilly, it really means a lot to me.
      Love and hug dear friend.
      Lisa. xx πŸ™‚

  2. I love to look at clouds too,the scenery is never the same ,as they keep moving . I hope they didn’t mean to be upsetting ,maybe they are just expressing their own feeling in that way .Just an idea that popped in my head .Lisa . I did that test that you did and ended up with being( Neuro typical,)
    something I never heard of before .Sounds something like me lol .It was fun to do anyway .I hope you feel better soon .
    Hugs and Blessings

    • Thanks Eileen,
      I’m fine now, I learnt a lot about myself and others. I also learned that not everyone blogs to help people or share their stories. But I’m good with it now. I just didn’t understand, I can be a little naive sometimes and then I get hurt because I don’t want to think people are actually nasty. I have safe blogs that I love to read and I trust the writers, so I will stick with them.
      I also have some wonderful friends who will help me to find my way round and I will be very careful next time I go out reading things that are new to me.
      Neurotypical means your “normal” Eileen, your brain functions how it should and your filters understand what goes on around you. Your senses are all functioning at the right level so you can make sense of everything that goes on around you. It is a fun quiz, I didn’t think I’d ever take it though. Just shows you how people can unnerve us at times.
      It was all good though, God used it to help me look to Him and find who I am again.
      I am Aspie-happy, I’m a multi coloured Rainbow and I turn negativity upside down.
      Love and hugs.
      Lisa. xx πŸ™‚

    • Thanks slp, it took me a while to get through it but I have to agree.
      As one of my own poems says…

      I might be different, but I am unique
      Buckets of talent for me to claim
      There are plenty of round pegs on this planet
      Why just fit and be the same?

      Love and hugs. xx πŸ™‚

  3. I’ve been sitting here letting your slide show of beautiful clouds play over and over. I could watch all day! When I was painting I wanted to do a series on clouds. I’ve always loved them.
    You have a gift for getting in touch with what is happening inside you and sharing that with others.
    I know I’ve been helped to see what is happening inside me by reading your posts.
    Don’t let them throw you off – just keep being you, we all love you just the way you are!

    • Thanks lovely Bruce,
      I haven’t got a clue what goes on inside me Bruce. I have to sit and Be Still with God everyday to calm down my loops. I have to write it out and wait on Him. Sometimes God helps me to see it and sometimes I just have to keep waiting.
      The fruits of the spirit are what I look to in these times, I’m not naturally a patient person, I hate not knowing, but praying through the fruits calms me.
      I love clouds, they make me smile. I have another collection too, a collection of smiles.
      I’ll share them soon, I know you will just love them Bruce.
      Love and hugs.
      Lisa. xx πŸ™‚

  4. Nothing like the Lords Canvass Lisa. What lovely photos these are. Whenever I feel that someone may be deliberately trying to undermine me I always wonder why? You make a difference to peoples lives Lisa so please don’t let anyone put you off doing this. Never change and never think you have to use big words to get your point across. You have a very natural ability in communicating with people. I myself have been enlightened by your posts, poems, fractals, photos and art. Love you xxxx

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