Yep…I did the Aspie-Quiz! Why?
I’ll explain shall I…hehe
Just backtracking in my time machine, only a couple of days I think?
No need to worry about Morlocks hitching a ride. Ok…I’m there now. 🙂
I read a fb status by a fellow blogger that said she had over 600 unread email notifications for blogs she was subscribed to.
OMGoodness I thought, how will she read all those
Then I remembered….”Lisa other people can speed read and scan, you can’t, you’re dyslexic!”
I realised that I am subscribed to VERY few blogs.
I follow a few Autism blogs, a few poetry blogs, a few Art/photography blogs and a few Christian blogs. I read what keeps me happy, it’s my ME time with my friends.
Oh dear…I decided to go on a search.
Now I don’t do this very often, the reason being it can make me LOOPY in a NOT.SO.GOOD.WAY.
I have written before how negativity hurts me. How it cycles and loops around in my head. How it can become the only thing I can focus on. I have to be so very careful what I feed my brain. My close friends suggest blogs to me and I usually keep to them.
Anyways I did it, then I LOOPED!
I felt drawn to one particular blog, this one was fine but I then ventured off around bloggyland. I did find some wonderful new Christian blogs. Then I went looking for other Aspie blogs. I wanted to find others like my lovely bloggy friends. Those who are real, open and honest. I didn’t find this, I found competition and self promotion. I found Aspies who were running down NT’s and it made me feel sick.
I speak my own Lisa-Lingo
I don’t know all the long words that the books use, I don’t understand what they all mean. I can only explain how it is for me and how I have managed to find ways of coping, or not coping. But to put the blame on another I feel is wrong.
I have been hurt A LOT by ignorance and selfishness, but the past is the past and a lot of this was also my own misinterpretation because I didn’t know I was different. I believe things can be a lot different for our children. Autism Awareness is growing but it is so hard for me to understand why we have to be divided. Why books are written in the US and THEM kind of way. I spent some time reading the comments left by others, both Aspies and NT’s and found it all quite confusing. Don’t we all just want to make it better for everyone who’s affected by ASD’s???
Blogging helps me and brings me friendship
Everyone who I communicate with I see as my friend, blogging is my social life it’s what I enjoy. When my friends disappear, it concerns me. My friendship has been rejected many times and it has really hurt. When I see blog posts and comments aimed in a negative or self opinionated way towards others that hurts me too. I have close friendships with both Aspies and NTs I don’t see that we are so very different when we love and accept one another for who we are.
I know not everyone blogs for friendship and therapy
I know that some people want to gain something from it. I understand this, everyone has a dream or a goal to aim for. But when it comes off the back of others it can’t be good and it can’t be given as achievement. Maybe this is just the way I see it, I don’t know. I just know that I can’t go reading around bloggyland without my close friends suggesting blogs for me in future. It has hurt me too much.
So why did I take the Aspie-Quiz???
Aspies don’t understand empathy!
Aspies are not artistic!
Aspies lack imagination!
I love living in my imagination, I LOVE art and poetry and how can I not feel empathy when I hurt so deeply? I looked at how these particular Aspies chatted to one another and use so many long words and phrases that I don’t know. They seem to know what they are talking about and they quote from all the books on Autism. I only know scripture and film monologues. I felt like maybe I’m just thick, or maybe I’m not an Aspie after all. I felt rejected as an Aspie by other Aspies.
I took the Quiz, I didn’t think I would ever do this.
Having to do this to prove to myself that I’m an Aspie, reminded me of being in the playground again. Me trying to prove that I can fit. Well, after many tears and quite a lot of prayer I have decided that I don’t want to fit into any group that points the finger of blame at anyone. I don’t feel I need to understand all the book terms that explain the life I have lived and I definitely don’t want to be anyone but who God created me to be.
But guess what…?
According to this quiz…..I am a TOTAL-ASPIE…..hehehe
It’s a HUGE Spectrum, with ALL kinds on it. At the end of the day, we are ALL only human.
Love and hugs everyone.
Lisa. xx 🙂