I took the Aspie-Quiz! (I need to vent)

Hello my lovely bloggy friends,

Yep…I did the Aspie-Quiz! Why?

I’ll explain shall I…hehe

Just backtracking in my time machine, only a couple of days I think?

No need to worry about Morlocks hitching a ride. Ok…I’m there now. 🙂

I read a fb status by a fellow blogger that said she had over 600 unread email notifications for blogs she was subscribed to.

OMGoodness I thought, how will she read all those

Then I remembered….”Lisa other people can speed read and scan, you can’t, you’re dyslexic!”

I realised that I am subscribed to VERY few blogs.

I follow a few Autism blogs, a few poetry blogs, a few Art/photography blogs and a few Christian blogs. I read what keeps me happy, it’s my ME time with my friends.

Oh dear…I decided to go on a search.

Now I don’t do this very often, the reason being it can make me LOOPY in a NOT.SO.GOOD.WAY.

I have written before how negativity hurts me. How it cycles and loops around in my head. How it can become the only thing I can focus on. I have to be so very careful what I feed my brain. My close friends suggest blogs to me and I usually keep to them.

Anyways I did it, then I LOOPED!

I felt drawn to one particular blog, this one was fine but I then ventured off around bloggyland. I did find some wonderful new Christian blogs. Then I went looking for other Aspie blogs. I wanted to find others like my lovely bloggy friends. Those who are real, open and honest. I didn’t find this, I found competition and self promotion. I found Aspies who were running down NT’s and it made me feel sick.

I speak my own Lisa-Lingo

I don’t know all the long words that the books use, I don’t understand what they all mean. I can only explain how it is for me and how I have managed to find ways of coping, or not coping. But to put the blame on another I feel is wrong.

I have been hurt  A LOT by ignorance and selfishness, but the past is the past and a lot of this was also my own misinterpretation because I didn’t know I was different. I believe things can be a lot different for our children. Autism Awareness is growing but it is so hard for me to understand why we have to be divided. Why books are written in the US and THEM kind of way. I spent some time reading the comments left by others, both Aspies and NT’s and found it all quite confusing. Don’t we all just want to make it better for everyone who’s affected by ASD’s???

Blogging helps me and brings me friendship

Everyone who I communicate with I see as my friend, blogging is my social life it’s what I enjoy. When my friends disappear, it concerns me. My friendship has been rejected many times and it has really hurt. When I see blog posts and comments aimed in a negative or self opinionated way towards others that hurts me too. I have close friendships with both Aspies and NTs I don’t see that we are so very different when we love and accept one another for who we are.

I know not everyone blogs for friendship and therapy

I know that some people want to gain something from it. I understand this, everyone has a dream or a goal to aim for. But when it comes off the back of others it can’t be good and it can’t be given as achievement. Maybe this is just the way I see it, I don’t know. I just know that I can’t go reading around bloggyland without my close friends suggesting blogs for me in future. It has hurt me too much.

So why did I take the Aspie-Quiz???

Apparently:

Aspies don’t understand empathy!

Aspies are not artistic!

Aspies lack imagination!

I love living in my imagination, I LOVE art and poetry and how can I not feel empathy when I hurt so deeply? I looked at how these particular Aspies chatted to one another and use so many long words and phrases that I don’t know. They seem to know what they are talking about and they quote from all the books on Autism. I only know scripture and film monologues. I felt like maybe I’m just thick, or maybe I’m not an Aspie after all. I felt rejected as an Aspie by other Aspies.

I took the Quiz, I didn’t think I would ever do this.

Having to do this to prove to myself that I’m an Aspie, reminded me of being in the playground again. Me trying to prove that I can fit. Well, after many tears and quite a lot of prayer I have decided that I don’t want to fit into any group that points the finger of blame at anyone. I don’t feel I need to understand all the book terms that explain the life I have lived and I definitely don’t want to be anyone but who God created me to be.

But guess what…?

According to this quiz…..I am a TOTAL-ASPIE…..hehehe

It’s a HUGE Spectrum, with ALL kinds on it. At the end of the day, we are ALL only human.

Love and hugs everyone.

Lisa. xx 🙂

Here are my results.

THIS IS THE LINK TO THE ASPIE-QUIZ

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19 thoughts on “I took the Aspie-Quiz! (I need to vent)

  1. Lisa,

    I totally went through this when I went venturing out in bloggyland. I felt like I should go get a diagnosis to prove to people that I was on the spectrum. I took the quizzes and I scored high on them all but I still didn’t feel like it was enough because of the way people spoke about “self-diagnosed” Aspie’s. Then I came to a point of having to stop the loops.

    And guess what? I did get a mass majority of the books, I read a ton of them and I came to the same conclusion. 1) The more I read the more I understood myself and my kids and 2) I am not the type of person who can divide when it comes to this. I have some major black and white thinking issues but when it comes to people, I see many perspectives and respect their views.

    I haven’t been the best at it but I always try to love and accept people whether they agree with me or not. I think that is the best we can do and those who truly want to have community like that online will stick around. Even if they don’t comment all the time!! 🙂

    This is an awesome post and I am so glad you wrote it!!

    Lots of love flinging your way~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    Angel

    • Hello lovely Angel,
      We are so alike my friend, that’s why we both get so hurt.
      We just need to keep being ourselves. We both blog to help others and to find out who we are after we have gone so long not understanding why we felt so different.
      I love all your blogs they help me more than any of those ones with all the long words.
      Also I know you’re an Aspie our Aspie-Quiz results were almost identical…LOL
      We are just a pair of over emotional big Aspie poets ain’t we!!! Narf!!!!
      Love you bunches and bunches~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~catch….LOL
      Lisa. xxx 🙂
      Oh yep Pinky…….did you remember to pick up my brain?

  2. I write about aspergers and I hope my blog isn’t one of the ones you found mean. Guess what? I’ve never read a book on autism. I know about myself, because I AM myself. No one else is I. If you are referring to wrongplanet, well it is the WRONG planet. I don’t hang there. I used too. I highly disliked it due to the way others treated each other.

    • Hi Aspergerssearch,
      No….not your blog at all my friend.
      This has been going on for some time and I only found your blog a while back.
      Keep doing what you are doing. Keep being you, you’re awesome!
      Love and hugs.
      Lisa. xx 🙂

  3. Hello lovely Lisa,
    You are such a kind, gentle, and loving person.
    And you have your moments of sadness and anger, too, like all of us.
    And your honesty lets you share it all. That is so refreshing and encouraging.
    It is truly a blessing to have met you in bloggyland.
    I come here often just to be refreshed and uplifted.
    You are helping me, by your example, to get in touch with all the various aspect of myself.
    You have created a safe, peaceful, loving place here.
    I am sure God is so proud of you and smiles whenever he thinks of your good heart.
    May you be filled with joy! Blessings to you!
    Love and hugs my dear friend,
    Bruce

    • Awwwwww you’re so lovely Bruce,
      Your comment filled me up. I try my best, one thing I do always try to be is open and honest.
      I find that when I share it helps me. It’s quite hard sometimes to figure out how people will take what I write, especially when it does reflect my faith. But at the end of the day it is God that I pray to and He is always be there for me.
      You are such an encourager Bruce, it is such a gift you have my friend.
      Love and hugs.
      Lisa. xxx 🙂

  4. Well I for one am so pleased that you got annoyed at those aspies putting down the NTs….your best friend is NT if I remember correctly 😉

    I think you should stick with the blogs that make you feel safe. You honestly don’t need all that head jumble!

    • Hello my beautiful Fi,
      Yes you are ABSOLUTELY CORRECT my lovely, my best friend is NT…I think you already knew this….giggle, before you even took the test, you do make me laugh.
      Also I totally agree with you, I won’t go wondering around again reading those types of blogs. I will wait for you, Angel, Laura, Bruce and anyone else who gets me to pass on the links. I think I will stick to Poetry, art and joke blogs in future when out on an adventure.
      I love you so very much
      Lees. xxxx

  5. Lisa,
    Your friendship means the world to me, so I am glad you are avoiding the negative blogs that are filled with so much anger. I was very naive when I started blogging. I actually believed that everyone in the autism community would embrace someone who was trying to educate others in tolerance of differences. I had no idea how divided the community really is. I hope one day this changes, but I do understand their anger is based on their prior experiences.

    You are are wonderful person who always comes to aide of those you care about and I know that is empathy. The one you and Fi helped this week has also been hurt including by those who love her. She is working on turning that into a positive thing and I am so happy she chose that direction. I wish others would too.
    Love and hugsxx
    Sue

    • Hello Sue,
      Thank you so much for your comment and your friendship.
      I guess it was another learning curve for me and I feel now that it also helped me in a way.
      I’m not so focussed on the fact that I am Autistic anymore.
      I am looking more at who God created me to be and the talents He has blessed me with.
      I know I’m not academic, I struggle with words, but my images bring things to life.
      I can express through poetry, art, music and writing.
      I’m an Aspie who can get in touch with my emotions. I don’t always understand them or what has caused them. But I am learning ways and I’m quite excited about it now. Also as I learn this about myself I am also learning to understand others with their feelings and emotions. I can see we are all so very different, but we are all so very alike too.
      One more thing Sue,
      It has been a joy getting to know the one you mentioned and her blog is awesome.
      Love and hugs my friend.
      lisa. xx 🙂

    • 🙂 You make me smile Tilly, I’m so glad I found your blog. 🙂
      Reading your jokes and seeing your images gives me such a giggle.
      Love you loads.
      Lisa. xx 🙂

  6. I really hope my blog isn’t taken as hateful or anti-neurotypical. I do blog about how we are different than NTs sometimes and my own experience, but I do not try to be mean, cause NTs are just like us. Human and cool.

    • Hi Aspie,
      No….it’s all good my friend. Your blog is one I read and comment on isn’t it?!
      So you have NOTHING to worry about.
      Love and hugs.
      Lisa. xx 🙂

  7. I have experienced the very thing you are talking about but in a completely different situation. Mental Health can pigeon hole and categorise and sometimes, your so called experts,despite their Education and University Degrees are sometimes the very worst people becoming involved in helping. In fact very often I have experienced the complete opposite. There are experts in all fields but the true experts do not “get on” by the exploitation of others. The University Of Life is a very good Education, which you are an expert in. Love you xxxx

    • Giggle….we’ve all been telling you for years, Auntie Linda, you ain’t quite “normal”
      But is anybody in our family REALLY…I mean look at Uncle *A…LMHO.
      Love you loads. xxx 🙂 hehehe

  8. Hello,

    I really like your reflexion and your way to use words. You are clearly precise and understandable.
    I’m not a blogger at all. To be honest, it has to be my first post on our cyberspace and, I’m not very comfy making a comment…
    I will try then!

    Actually, I was looking for a solution to understand or to accept myself being that clinicians call an ASPIE. How excess my life was before I had this question in mind.

    I might never have to look for solutions. As you say past is the past, and today we should rather love and accept oursleves for who we are, and who we were.

    So, thank you for all those lovely thoughts.
    Because reading your post, I finally discover new ways to explore pretty feelings, and a way to express a wish.
    We probably all have a way of be someone who knows what agape seems to be, and it is nice to read it here.

    ( sorry for my writing but I’m only French…my English needs to be worked)

    Merci beaucoup.

  9. Hello,

    I really like your reflexion and your way to use words. You are clearly precise and understandable.
    I’m not a blogger at all. To be honest, it has to be my first post on our cyberspace and, I’m not very comfy making a comment…

    Actually, I was looking for a solution to understand or to accept myself being that clinicians call an ASPIE. How excess my life was before I had this question in mind.

    I might never have to look for solutions. As you say past is the past, and today we should rather love and accept oursleves for who we are, and who we were.

    So, thank you for all those lovely thoughts. Because reading your post, I finally discover new ways to explore pretty feelings. As a different way of be someone who knows what agape seems to be, and with individual freedom.
    Thanks. You are a great writer!

    ( sorry for my writing but I’m only French and, my English needs to be worked)

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