Where my Faith and my Aspieness STAND holding hands.

I am a multi coloured Rainbow

Hello my lovely bloggy friends,

I have been thinking a lot lately of Joseph (son of Jacob)

Yes that’s correct in the Old Testament of the Bible.

Genesis 37-50

I haven’t linked it, it’s a lot of Bible to read.

I will NOT be offended if you decide to click on another blog now, I know I can be terribly unrelatable at times but this is my blog and it’s…

“A place where I can be me!”

So I’m going to share my thoughts and you’re welcome to join me if you want to.

There WAS a hint in the title you know! 😉

So, if you came along after reading the word FAITH, you might as well carry on reading.

From relating to Jonah and moving on to Joseph.

Those of you who know me personally or those who are regular readers will know that I relate a lot to Jonah. I wrote a poem and painted a picture called, ‘Inside the fish’ and shared this with you some time back. It was my way of coming through a shutdown, also God’s way of moving me forward in my understanding.

Since I started blogging there has been a regular theme for me,

Something that I constantly say to myself, something that I feel God whispering to my heart.

I am Aspie-happy!

I am a multi coloured Rainbow!

I turn negativity upside down.

They are all old posts you can follow the links if you want…I even sing one of them…LOL

My poem “I am a multi coloured Rainbow” explains how I had become a person who would hide and wear black a lot. Wearing black made me feel invisible, and that’s what I wanted to be. Colour is SO very important to me, it seems to stimulate me and makes me feel different, in a positive way. I don’t understand this about myself but I really do NEED colour.

When God-incidents happen I can’t ignore them.

I wrote a post the day after Father’s day and included the scripture Isaiah 54:5-6.

I Googled for an image using the scripture reference and got the image above, a multi coloured robe. This is SO out of context but just one of those times where I felt God speaking and pointing me in the direction I need to go. I shared with my closest friend what I felt God is hinting to me and she shared something she found about Joseph that really helped me.

This is what she shared…

I just read this :
So, what then are the elements of courage that Joseph displayed? Grace under pressure, making the best of his situation and remaining faithful to God despite any evidence he may have had that God had forgotten him. The evidence of his courage is in his behaviour, doing right even when he was wronged or in danger. He learned to wait patiently on God and to look to God for everything. It takes tremendous courage to look away from circumstance and look instead to God. A good part of faith is having the courage to believe despite all that we see.

Being misunderstood and also misunderstanding

(The link above is another poem)

As an Aspie I can feel incredibly alone, as a Christian I can feel extreme aloneness. Even in a very loving Church family. We all have a God shaped hole and as humans we try so hard to fill it, but only God can. The love God puts in our hearts wants to give and receive love. The wiring of my Aspie brain and the hurt I have gone through means I constantly battle with a fear of rejection. I have a need to give and to receive love, but as a friend of mine pointed out in a comment, we all love in our own unique way.

As an Aspie I have to work hard to understand how others think and feel.

Up until I realised I had Aspergers I just thought everyone thought, felt and experienced the same way and as deeply as I do. I thought everyone had a brain that NEVER switched off with constant looping thoughts. Only through being open about how I understand, how I struggle, how I think, by asking and allowing others to help me, have I begun to understand that I am wired differently. So I can now learn to understand others too.

I have been reading, listening and seeking God’s answers on Joseph.

While I have been learning (in my Loopy-Leesy way) I found a video, and the words to the song really spoke to me, as a Christian but even MORE as an Aspie.

Close every door to me

(Joseph and the amazing technicolor dreamcoat)

Close every door to me,
Hide all the world from me
Bar all the windows
And shut out the light
Do what you want with me,
Hate me and laugh at me
Darken my daytime
And torture my night
If my life were important I
Would ask will I live or die
But I know the answers lie
Far from this world
Close every door to me,
Keep those I love from me
Children of Israel
Are never alone
For I know I shall find
My own peace of mind
For I have been promised
A land of my own

God gives me strength to sing this, I feel it hurt in my heart

God brings healing through tears, and I know He is teaching me something new.

Just singing this helps me, I know that there have always been strangers and aliens in this world. That we all experience times where we feel that no one could possibly understand what we go through, but there are folk that do. Hebrews 11:13-15

This world seems to be in love with perfection and people just don’t share who they REALLY are.

Everyone worries about what others think, but should we? I mean…..Really?

I guess that’s why I LOVE reading my Bible,

It is full of imperfect people seeking a perfect God. It helps me to feel loved and accepted, I KNOW I am loved by God.

That’s who we ALL are, if we are honest with ourselves, none of us are perfect. We are all very special though and created to be ourselves and live our lives to the full.

My Bible friends are people who were not afraid to be themselves and make mistakes. They call out to God… and time after time I can see how God delivers them. I don’t need to read other books, good job really with my dyslexia…hehe

The images I get from my visual replays are so very real and they help me through everything.

Where my Faith and my Aspieness STAND holding hands.

In the following words:

Close every door to me,
Keep those I love from me
Children of Israel
Are never alone
For we know we shall find
Our own peace of mind
For we have been promised
A land of our own

Love and hugs everyone. xx 🙂


10 thoughts on “Where my Faith and my Aspieness STAND holding hands.

  1. I have worn out my Joseph video so thanks for this 🙂

    The paragraph about Joesph was just what I needed to read today. Thank you. God doesn’t just work on one person at a time, does He? 🙂

    • Hi Tilly,
      God is awesome like that, the way He connects and works so perfectly.
      Glad you enjoyed the video, I have been singing that song a lot.
      That paragraph about Joseph is perfect, I’m glad it helped you too.
      We can both thank Fi for that, she’s such a blessing.
      Love and hugs my friend.
      Lisa. xx 🙂

  2. Wow, wow, wow, wow and WOW! Look how far God has brought you! How exciting!!!

    The bit you wrote : “God brings healing through tears” is PERFECT! That’s also how God brings me healing 🙂
    And through writing it out!

    Love you loads…..keep shining 🙂

    • Hello my beautiful friend,
      You make me smile Fi, your friendship means the world to me.
      You help me so much by just being yourself.
      You keep shining too, you’re a beacon of hope my lovely friend.
      I love you loads too.
      Lees. xxxx 🙂

  3. I really enjoyed this post Lisa, really well written. I cannot express how proud I am of you with the way you share your Faith. Love you xxxx

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