Hello my lovely bloggy friend,
I woke up this morning with a head FULL of “Lightening jumps and connections.”
I must have been replaying in my sleep.
Leesy-Loo’s La-La Land is FULL of Loops, you know!….giggle.
My closest friend told me she only loops when she is stressed or anxious about something. It will be one repetitive loop. That’s the one that I call the “NOT KNOWING” It drives me mad and makes me want answers, because I know that if I don’t get answers this loop starts off the others. The worse one being the “FRANTIC THOUGHT” loop.
In this loop I’ll be looping on absolutely everything. I can become completely paranoid. This one gets me on my Knees….I can giggle about it now I see it, but I hate it when I’m there. Good thing is… God is showing me, so I’m quite excited about what I can see. Now I can start to understand.
The best way I can explain, is like this…
Imagine an Orchestra.
When you listen to it playing a piece of classical music…it can start off with a very quiet sound that is continual.
Imagine that sound …a continual sound that you just can’t place.
Then a flute will jump in and maybe the string section for a while…Oh what’s that I hear? A French horn…that sounds pretty, now it’s gone again, and there’s that sound….what is that sound?
I can hear trumpets now, and a very quite drum, oh and that’s a triangle too…but what is that sound? I want to know?
Oooo a double bass, that sounds really good in the background and that drum has gotten a little louder, where’s that sound gone I can’t hear it?
I want to hear it! Why has it gone?
Oh there it is…I feel ok again now, but what is it? Why can’t I figure out what it is?
Can anyone tell me what that sound is? I don’t like not knowing!
Ok, get the picture…giggle, giggle.
If you haven’t got a clue what I’m talking about, then you don’t loop and probably think I’m a nutter.
The “NOT KNOWING” becomes the focus. But the other things are still looping, then the insecurity from the “NOT KNOWING” with our sensory the way it is, will cause this anxiety to cross over into what we are certain of.
This is the way God has helped me to understand it, because with my dyslexia, I can’t read books.
This image has really, REALLY helped me.
I think that when the “NOT KNOWING” is out of my control, it’s only stepping back, looking at it from outside, and KNOWING that God is in control that will slow down this loop for me.
In some cases it can be a shutdown.
For me as a Christian with Aspergers it is a case of surrendering to God BUT not the unkind ways of this world.
As it is my understanding of how people treat and perceive me that causes anxiety and stress.
The unkind ways of some people, added to my NOT KNOWING causes the loops, but God tells us that Faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see. This is what I am trying my best to hold on to. I know God will get me through the loops now, I’m not afraid of the loops anymore.
I also have a poem to share that I wrote called,
“I feel, I’m at a bit of a junction.”
You can read this poem over at my new blog, don’t forget to subscribe while you are there.
Here is the link…“Listening through the Loops”
I KNOW I’m very naughty…and WAY too cheeky.
But you KNOW you love me really. Don’t you?? *wink *wink..giggle
Love and hugs.
Lisa. xx 🙂