I had a strange experience while out having a coffee today. I sat and chatted with a lovely lady who I know is very well meaning. I don’t really know her I was trying to be friendly, I didn’t think she knew much about me. It seems that she knew a lot more than I have told her and she felt she needed to give me advise about my life. The penny dropped pretty quickly as I know who she has been talking to, she had already told me. The slant on what she knew I have also heard before. I get extremely hurt by this, and it takes me a long time to actually filter through my feelings with this type of behaviour.
I made a decision today
It was my decision to make, I went out and interacted with others in the best way I can. I was doing fine until this conversation happened. Then I just wanted to go home and be away from everyone again.
Knowing that people are talking about me is not at all helpful. I am an adult and I am quite capable of explaining my own life to those I choose to explain it to. It’s pretty simple really isn’t it.
Here is a poem I wrote today,
I’m sorry for ranting, I just needed to vent.
I am so glad I have my blog and ALL my lovely bloggy friends.
You make me smile, thank you for accepting me just as I am.
Love and hugs.
Lisa. xx 🙂
I have my own life!
Stop looking and just seeing I’m Aspie
Look deeper at the person within
I’m different but this doesn’t define me
I’m loyal, I’m loving, I don’t give in.
When I look at myself as you see me
I hide and put on my clown mask
That’s fine for a while, it makes people happy
But when I’m home, alone, drained no-one will ask
How are you? How are you really? Are you ok?
I saw you, but you didn’t see me!
I was wondering what you had been up to today?
I’ve got time for a chat, are you free?
As this is the pattern of life up to now
I need to be kinder to myself
I need to start loving who I am, but how?
This world’s ways are not good for mental health
I guess I need to spend less time in stressing
More with God and the creation of me
Stop wanting for others to be more accepting
But accepting myself, just as me!