Hello my lovely bloggy friends,
I’m going to try my very best here to talk about something that really bothers me. I’m hoping I don’t put my foot in my mouth. I am constantly saying this blog is a place where I can be me. I do that by being open and honest. So here goes.
For those who are new readers
Here is a quick rundown of the Alienhippy and her experience of Church.
My Mom was a Sunday school teacher in the Anglican Church. I only went into Sunday school on the days she was teaching it. Any other Sunday I would sit under the pews, at her feet, and scream at anyone who suggested taking me to Sunday school.
I grew up in a Church environment and this is where I am most comfortable, when I’m not at home.
At the age of 26 I went on a Spiritual journey and without realising ended up in a religious sect. I was in this sect for 4 years. I learnt LOTS here, not all of it good, I may hasten to add, but I still learnt.
Because of the damage done by false doctrine I lost my faith for 4 years, only regaining it just before the death of my Mom. Who’s last instructions to me were, “Find Jesus and love one another!”
I have been along to many Christian Churches of all denomination, and I have found the same thing in all of them so far.
I feel very hurt that those who claim to follow Christ can become religiously self righteous.
I know that I have also been this way when I was in the sect and thought I was special. The fact is we are all special, God loves each and every one of us, equally. Not because of who we were or are to become, but because we are His.
I chose not to go to Church today,
I felt that God had a different plan for me and he did.
I read John 15, and I painted abstract trees, while listening to worship songs on YouTube.
Those who are reading this that follow a religious tradition
Might see this as a weakness. I would have also a few years back. Now however I see that God teaches through ALL things and ALL people ALL the time, not just on a Sunday but every day, if we have the right heart and are listening for His still quiet voice.
I am an adult on the spectrum.
I can’t always cope with the whole experience of Church, it can cause quite a lot of jumble. Just like when I was a child there are times I wish I could still sit under the pews.
I learnt SO VERY much today,
What I read, what I felt lead to do and what I felt God communicate with me, taught me so much about myself and others.
I will not share this on my blog though, it’s my personal walk with God and I will only open my heart with these thing to people I feel God has brought into my life, those I trust.
People are people, we are all only human we all fall short.
We are all perfect in God’s eyes, but if we go around thinking we are perfect and don’t accept others where they are at, we miss the whole purpose of grace.
As Christians we are to follow the example of Jesus.
We are not meant to be perfect, we just need to feel accepted and loved for who we are. God gives this, He is the one true constant.
I know if the only thing that kept me spiritually strong was Church services, I would not be able to keep up with life.
Reading my Bible and learning from God’s word makes all the difference.
I really don’t like religion,
It causes so much hurt. But let’s not throw the baby out with the bath water, as our Vicar is always saying.
Jesus is NOT about religion, he’s about love and self sacrifice.
God is all about the giving and receiving of love.
Maybe it because I’m Autistic that I notice when I feel unloved. Or maybe it’s not.
I don’t struggle to talk to people in a Church setting, but I know that with some I can’t look into their eyes, they make me feel less.
I’ve lived this way myself so I know that some Churches are cliquey,
Some people don’t like new comers, they feel threatened that a position will be taken from them.
Some will use scripture as a tool to manipulate and get what they want.
I was taught all the tricks with this and it is so very very wrong.
Only because I was reading and praying was I able to see how wrong and how twisted God’s word can be put across.
I follow rules, it’s part of my Aspieness.
In a toss-up between man’s rules and God’s commandments, I know which one to follow.
This can cause me quite a lot of hurt and rejection.
So… I guess today my post is just me having a ranting babble about false doctrine and misquoted scripture.
Just a bit of light reading for me….. I guess…giggle.
I might not be able to read a lot, or read too fast. But I do love to study my Bible.
Can I just add here that I’m only talking from my own personal experience.
I’m sure there are many Churches that do not make people feel this way.
I wanted to post this because it is on my mind.
I don’t expect any answers or solutions.
I just wanted to voice my opinion, in “A place where I can be me!”
Love and hugs. xx 🙂
Something I was listening to today while painting