A ranting babble about Churches.

Hymn books are wonderful poetry, and read like the Psalms.

Hello my lovely bloggy friends,

I’m going to try my very best here to talk about something that really bothers me. I’m hoping I don’t put my foot in my mouth. I am constantly saying this blog is a place where I can be me. I do that by being open and honest. So here goes.

For those who are new readers

Here is a quick rundown of the Alienhippy and her experience of Church.

My Mom was a Sunday school teacher in the Anglican Church. I only went into Sunday school on the days she was teaching it. Any other Sunday I would sit under the pews, at her feet, and scream at anyone who suggested taking me to Sunday school.

I grew up in a Church environment and this is where I am most comfortable, when I’m not at home.

At the age of 26 I went on a Spiritual journey and without realising ended up in a religious sect. I was in this sect for 4 years. I learnt LOTS here, not all of it good, I may hasten to add, but I still learnt.

Because of the damage done by false doctrine I lost my faith for 4 years, only regaining it just before the death of my Mom. Who’s last instructions to me were, “Find Jesus and love one another!”

I have been along to many Christian Churches of all denomination, and I have found the same thing in all of them so far.

I feel very hurt that those who claim to follow Christ can become religiously self righteous.

I know that I have also been this way when I was in the sect and thought I was special. The fact is we are all special, God loves each and every one of us, equally. Not because of who we were or are to become, but because we are His.

I chose not to go to Church today,

I felt that God had a different plan for me and he did.

I read John 15, and I painted abstract trees, while listening to worship songs on YouTube.

Those who are reading this that follow a religious tradition

Might see this as a weakness. I would have also a few years back. Now however I see that God teaches through ALL things and ALL people ALL the time, not just on a Sunday but every day, if we have the right heart and are listening for His still quiet voice.

I wrote a poem about this once, here is the link.

I am an adult on the spectrum.

I can’t always cope with the whole experience of Church, it can cause quite a lot of jumble.  Just like when I was a child there are times I wish I could still sit under the pews.

I learnt SO VERY much today,

What I read, what I felt lead to do and what I felt God communicate with me, taught me so much about myself and others.

I will not share this on my blog though, it’s my personal walk with God and I will only open my heart with these thing to people I feel God has brought into my life, those I trust.

People are people,  we are all only human we all fall short.

We are all perfect in God’s eyes, but if we go around thinking we are perfect and don’t accept others where they are at, we miss the whole purpose of grace.

As Christians we are to follow the example of Jesus.

We are not meant to be perfect, we just need to feel accepted and loved for who we are. God gives this, He is the one true constant.

I know if the only thing that kept me spiritually strong was Church services, I would not be able to keep up with life.

Reading my Bible and learning from God’s word makes all the difference.

I really don’t like religion,

It causes so much hurt. But let’s not throw the baby out with the bath water, as our Vicar is always saying.

Jesus is NOT about religion, he’s about love and self sacrifice.

God is all about the giving and receiving of love.

Maybe it because I’m Autistic that I notice when I feel unloved. Or maybe it’s not.

I don’t struggle to talk to people in a Church setting, but I know that with some I can’t look into their eyes, they make me feel less.

I’ve lived this way myself so I know that some Churches are cliquey,

Some people don’t like new comers, they feel threatened that a position will be taken from them.

Some will use scripture as a tool to manipulate and get what they want.

I was taught all the tricks with this and it is so very very wrong.

Only because I was reading and praying was I able to see how wrong and how twisted God’s word can be put across.

I follow rules, it’s part of my Aspieness.

In a toss-up between man’s rules and God’s commandments, I know which one to follow.

This can cause me quite a lot of hurt and rejection.

So… I guess today my post is just me having a ranting babble about false doctrine and misquoted scripture.

Just a bit of light reading for me….. I guess…giggle.

I might not be able to read a lot, or read too fast. But I do love to study my Bible.


Can I just add here that I’m only talking from my own personal experience.

I’m sure there are many Churches that do not make people feel this way.

I wanted to post this because it is on my mind.

I don’t expect any answers or solutions.

I just wanted to voice my opinion, in “A place where I can be me!”

Love and hugs. xx 🙂

Something I was listening to today while painting


19 thoughts on “A ranting babble about Churches.

  1. I know you know me well enough to know I don’t go to church. It’s not that I don’t believe, its just that I find what I’m looking for elsewhere, usually outside….God loves you for who you are and understands you, and what you need. Sometimes you just don’t have it in you to go to Chruch on Sunday and I’m sure he understands that. For those who don’t, look the other way. If you look far enough you’ll see me waving from across the pond.

  2. I can’t tell you how much this post means to me. I have had a very hard day, months actually dealing with my not wanting to go to church anymore. There is a lot to it but today I just couldn’t. The kids can’t go anymore because it is too much for them socially and sensory wise. I took a break this month but the thought of going back is sending me into panic attacks. I won’t go into it but I did write this poem today out of trying to work through some of my emotions.


    Thank you!
    Love and hugs!! 🙂

  3. I think you already know where my views lie. In fact, I KNOW you know 😉
    I am always telling people that I’m not religious, BUT I do have a personal relationship with Jesus, it’s NOT the same thing 🙂

  4. I think you have found the truth, that faith and religion are not the same thing. You can visit with God whenever you feel like; you don’t need a special place for it. xx

  5. Hello Lisa, I’ve come to the same conclusions.
    I would often feel so drained and depressed after church.
    I had nothing left to give my family on Sunday afternoons.
    So I realized I should stay home to conserve energy.
    Communing with God in a peaceful quiet place is more to my liking.
    Accepting my Aspieness has made that easier to do. 🙂
    God’s Grace overflows!
    Bruce 🙂
    P.S. Thanks for the song. It is a great, uplifting reminder.

  6. I love the video and song. I know only too well what you mean about some Churches. We probably have very high expectations of people within a Church and then when someone appears pompous and self-righteous within such a setting, it is very upsetting. It is something I experienced a lot when I was younger. I’m afraid that Religion, Pomp and Circumstance has very little to do with the teachings of Jesus. Love you xxxx

  7. Lisa, you said exactly what I have been feeling. I think about small villages in Africa where they can’t hold services. Does God love them less? and honestly, is there a scripture in the Bible that says you HAVE TO attend church? I think the churches we see today is nothing like what God intended. God called his people “the church” not because of the building they worshipped in, but because they were His people. Another thing I noticed is that in the Old Testament, they did have a temple and an altar where animals were sacrificed for sins, but when Jesus died, he took away the need for that. We no longer needed to go to church to sacrifice for our sins. We can do that anywhere. We can ask for forgiveness and receive that in full. Also, I feel like the church is there (when it works correctly) to spur people on to missions or the spreading of the gospel to others who don’t know Christ. Most churches don’t do that. Instead its just a place to get friends and join social groups. Barf. I’ll pass. Like I said earlier on my blog, I love the Jewish traditions (like Sabbath, Yom Kippur, etc) because those rituals are reflections of our worship to God. Do I need to go practice in a synagogue though? Ok, I know I’m writing a lot here, but have you ever heard of Charlotte Mason? She taught students in the 17 or 1800’s and never had her own children nor was she married. But she taught them to watercolor pictures of things they found in nature. Because of her philosophy, I try to do nature studies with my kids and I’m telling you, if anything has brought me closer to God, it has been when I sit out and admire his creation either by drawing it (I’m not so good at that) or writing poetry about it. It helps me worship God in a real way. Your post reminded me of this.

    • Hello lovely Michelle,
      You have it there my friend. God is our creator, He created us to be like Him. Part of our way of worshipping is to be ourselves and Jesus came to teach us how to be free in Him, to live life to the full. When we create, be it in art, poetry, music, dancing, mathematical equations…anything really, we are all unique and “wonderfully wired” as Fi calls it. Our worship is being ourselves and bringing this before God.
      Also yep…I agree the Church is the body of Christ, we are his hands, feet and other parts here. What I notice when reading the Bible is Jesus REALLY loved all people unconditionally. He sat on hills and under trees and went off in boats to be with those who loved God and accepted Him. The times He went into “Places of worship” He seemed to get judged, accused, rejected and betrayed.
      Society has made Church into a building and a group, but Jesus says,
      ” For where two or three come together in my name, there am I with them.”
      Maybe it’s just my Aspie way of thinking, but to me that means Church is when I can talk about my love of God and my relationship with Jesus with those God has brought to me who are like me.
      Does this make sense?
      I tend to babble a lot, and when I find friends to talk about Jesus with I tend to bore them. hehe
      Love and hugs to you.
      Lisa. xxx 🙂

  8. Pingback: Did your comment disappear? I’ll explain! « Alienhippy's Blog

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