Hello my lovely bloggy friends,
Light it up blue, well you know me…I love to create so I made my own poster.
Who said Autistics aren’t Artistic??? My whole brain is filled with pictures!
I couldn’t think of any other way to explain today, Austim Awareness.
I live Autism EVERYDAY, I have lived Autism everyday, I am Autism everyday.
So I decided to bring back an early post…..I can’t say it any better than I did last year.
I will add though that my little *CAL is now diagnosed with ASD.
Autism meaning *SELF???
Oxford compact English Dictionary …Autism- a mental condition characterized by complete self-absorption and a reduced ability to respond to the outside world.
A quote off the internet …The word “autism” is from a Greek word meaning “self.” Autistic people are often assumed to be self-centred, uninterested in any other person’s reality, and incapable of appreciating or responding to other people’s concerns.
Now my take on this….for what it is worth.
I have lived unknowing on the Autistic Spectrum all my life. My Father is Autistic, (which was only diagnosed at the age of 64) I now realise that my Mom was probably an Aspie. I have come to understand and accept that I have Aspergers myself. My children both show signs of being on the Autistic Spectrum and so does my husband.
When I read the description in my dictionary and then later finding that the Greek origin meant “SELF” I felt a little annoyed. Self-absorption implies that an autistic person is only interested in themselves. I feel that self-absorption should be replaced with self-preservation. Which is an entirely different thing
A short history of the Alienhippy
My family was extremely loving, we only went out as a family, Mom and Dad had very few friends.
My Dad was extremely shy and only sat in corners at parties, he was worried about what people thought of him and how he might say things wrong. So he chose not to speak when out of the house.
He worked in a factory which he hated, where people ignored him, ridiculed him and made him withdraw from society. He did this to provide for his family, and he later became my Mom’s full time carer when she became ill. Even though he cannot communicate his love, he shows us he loves us by his actions. He feels very deeply about everyone he cares for, but has trouble putting that into words….so I will try from my perspective!
My Aspie view
I do not feel that I am a selfish person, no more than anyone else anyway. I do understand that my brain never seems to switch off and I do spend a lot of time thinking. If this is being self-absorbed then let me go on…..The reason why I have isolated myself in the past is because of a need to protect myself. The reason why I was hurting so deeply was people.
When I love and care for a person, they become part of who I am. My Mom is very much a part of my everyday and when I stop and realise she is no-longer here I feel pain. Not just emotions….I mean actual physical pain and emptiness, this then causes me to feel like I cannot breathe. I carry every person I love around with me in my head and heart and when they are hurting, so am I. Having my loved ones with me constantly gets me through almost everything. They provide love, joy, peace, acceptance and friendship, when in society I feel alone most of the time. This is why my past relationships and friendships have hurt me so deeply, because when they have turned on me or rejected me I have been thrown into a state of self-turmoil.
I am also going to say that I turn to God for everything, but having these loved ones as part of my being make this world easier to function in. I have in the past gone over the top with religion and not wanted to be part of humanity. So I see my loved ones as a gift from God to help me to feel that I belong, and it is completely necessary for my well being.
Having Aspergers to me also means that I can lose myself in my own interests, which I will say can become obsessive, and because I am a perfectionist I cannot stop until I have worked through, created or learnt everything my brain needs. This will offend some people who want my attention for reasons that I cannot understand and do not feel a need for. I however can and will drop everything if the need is real and not just a demand on my time.
So, ASD’s, or more to the point the word Autism, “SELF”
… My thoughts on MYSELF…lol
I do not consider myself a selfish person, I have said this before now I will say why……… I spend every minute of every day and most nights I get up to pray for those I carry within me. All of my thoughts and prayers are about how I can provide for, build up, protect, love, guide and nurture those God has allowed into my heart and life.
I know I am extremely intense and a little eccentric, but this is how God has made me.
I do love all people, I just find them really hard work. I would never deliberately hurt anyone.
I don’t allow many to dwell within my heart because I have hurt so much over the years, but there are a few very special people who know who they are, because I am extremely open when I trust someone.
So this is my understanding of my life….all 41 years of it lived on the Autistic Spectrum.
I might be quiet and look like I’m only interested in myself but this is what is going on inside.
To me this is not being self-absorbed…..but I could be wrong!
I don’t really understand how anyone else thinks or feels, I just know my own way.
After all…..that is what we all have to do, find our own way to be ourselves and live life to its full potential.