I have been having a good old Aspie think…giggle.
When do we Aspies ever stop thinking??
Hmmmmmm……YES. We can ALL agree with this.
I don’t think we do EVER stop thinking.
Well there is good and bad with that.
Let’s talk a little bit about early intervention shall we…?
why???…because… I HAD NONE!!!
But hey….I grew up in an Autistic bubble, never taught to socialise by my Autistic Dad and my lovely Mom only ever went to Church, it was the only time she got to chat.
And LOOK everybody I survived….with the added blessing of dyslexia too, and probably a few other spectrummy things.
I just haven’t learnt about them yet. LMHO
And NO!!! I have NOT been drinking, I’m just having a giggle with my Aspie-happy.
So, how has it been Lisa???
I won’t lie…at times it’s been really hard…BUT I didn’t know, and still I managed to;
Gain a trade, get married, in fact I have been married twice, I have 2 beautiful Aspie kids.
I even own my own home, and drive my own car.
I recently studied for three year to gain a qualification I can’t use at the moment, but one day I will be able to work as a SEN teaching assistant.
God has other things for me to learn right now, and my kids are my first priority.
Yes… I’m having counselling… 🙂
I am NOT hiding that fact. I am re-learning all the cognitive therapy that needs to be up graded now we know I’m an Aspie.
AND… I’m gonna share it with you as I go.
Aren’t I just SO lovely!!!
Well first of all… I have been working through relationships.
Oooooooooo, tough one Lisa…..I hear you all saying…LOL
So…as I was having a shower this morning I had quite a few visuals pop into my head.
I’ve probably said this before, but I don’t care. I like to repeat myself, and it’s my blog…giggle
Well anyhoo…I find that the water hitting my head seems to turn off the nagging loops and just lets me see pictures.
It’s really very relaxing to just see the pictures without hearing the loops.
I was thinking “as usual”
I very often have visual over laps, visuals over visuals.
These can bring on such inspiration and prompt so many tangent thoughts and new ideas. I would hate to not have my visuals.
As a kid I was forever taking things apart to see what was inside and figure out how they worked.
I loved taking music boxes apart actually, and watching the little twanging metal things go round.
Sorry I don’t know what they are called, you’ll just have to put up with my Lisa Lingo…giggle.
Anyway…I went off on a tangent there, I was talking about relationships wasn’t I??
Well now…That was ME, talking about my relationships.
I’m obsessive and analytical, I don’t understand so I take it apart to see how it ticks.
This is the damage done to me by the NOT KNOWING!!!
At school I had friends in pockets.
Yep…one friend in each place. I couldn’t cope with more than one friend at a time and I have realised that because of this I withdrew.
I felt pushed out. Groups of girls all talking a load of rubbish and I hadn’t got a clue when it was my turn to talk.
I still have this problem. I put my hand up now, or I don’t bother saying anything.
I also avoid chit chat with acquaintances at all cost, I really can’t stand it. I just switch off anyway.
I know I hide it well now, but I always wonder if anyone realises. This will cause replays and also anxiety.
As a kid my special interests would help me to talk to the kids at school.
But when other kids came along and the conversation changed I was stuck, and didn’t know how to join in.
So I can see now the problems my *CAL has.
She is very much like me, she has obsessive and analytical ways. She is a perfectionist and won’t stop until she figures it out.
She has trouble going to sleep if she hasn’t solved her problem.
Friendships are hard for her too, she copes much better with boys as they speak about their interests and not really about other people.
I have been extremely hurt over the years by friends.
Don’t get me wrong I know a lot of it was my own misunderstanding as an Aspie.
I really didn’t understand that how I think and feel, is any different.
I am still learning and every time I think I have it figured, another piece of the jig-saw appears.
When I am close to someone, I am extremely giving and I love very deeply.
This has been abused over the years. This is why I am having counselling, I want to be able to have and keep friends and not keep isolating myself because of my negative loops. Now I understand that I am different, I don’t want to constantly fear rejection and always be wondering who I can trust.
My counsellors goal for me this week is to name each of my loops.
Funny that don’t you think, God has already helped me to name three of them.
My frantic thought loop, my Mental Martha and my Lovely loop.
I have SO much more to say on this….But I am going to save it for another post.
I am constantly having my lightening jump connections and my visuals over visuals.
I’ll wait and see where God leads this.
I feel good about this next part of my journey.
For nothing is impossible with God. (Luke 1:37)
Early intervention… 🙂
I’m getting mine at 41…I have quite a few years in me yet though hopefully.
Like I said to my hubby at our breakfast table the other day. THIS POST.
There are lessons everywhere if we open our eyes and hearts to learning from everything and everyone throughout the day.
Sometimes God gives us something we don’t want to learn, it causes us hurt and tears, it’s accepting that challenge.
I know though that through tears comes healing, through healing comes strength.
Through God’s strength we learn , grow and don’t forget.
So my goal is to know God better and learn His lessons every day.
I’ll tell you as I learn.
Love and hugs. xx 🙂