I wasn’t going to blog tonight, but I just spent some time reading and quite a few thoughts came to mind.
Be warned I might actually start talking about God, Jesus and reading my Bible in this post.
Now is your opportunity to run for the hills, if you haven’t got the guts to read on… 🙂 giggle
So, those who are still reading…Are you ready???
I have been reading a selection of books recently by Joyce Meyer.
My dyslexia makes me a VERY slow reader, however I do enjoy learning from scripture.
I have been having a tough time over the last few weeks, but trying so hard to push through it.
I have found myself shutting down almost every day. I try my best to communicate in these times because if I don’t I go into isolation.
Before I started blogging I had gone into total isolation
I had just about had enough of how I felt in this world, and I was ready to just keep away from as many people as possible.
In fact I totally cut myself off, only really talking with the milkman…if I had to.
Through my blog
And the friendships I have found here, I have learnt so much about myself.
What I have come to realise over the last few days is that as much as I try to be positive about things, my mind set is extremely negative when it comes to self.
I believe that this comes down to always misunderstanding what goes on around me.
Also being misunderstood.
Not having a clue that I have grown up with Aspergers Syndrome and never really understanding why I felt so different, so alone.
This has all definitely had an effect.
It’s the NOT KNOWING!!
I have learnt over the years to analyse and predict.
I have been wrong many times and felt bitterly disappointed, so I know that I started to view everything in regards to self with a negative slant. This way… things didn’t hurt so bad when they went wrong. I’d already prepared for the worst.
I started this very young, I was discussing this with my counsellor on Friday.
I don’t see myself as worthy of very much at all.
Now I know…!!!
As a Christian this sounds absolutely terrible and in certain denominations this type of thinking is rebuked.
I KNOW…believe me!
This kind of thinking is put on us as we grow, it’s the environments we live in, the experiences we go through.
It’s not kind to rebuke a person who is already down trodden by life.
Love and acceptance is what is needed but also…I believe, a firm direction towards God.
As God is the one true constant.
Sorry to preach, I don’t mean to do it….it just pops out sometimes. Ooopsi.
I’m telling myself really, I’m WAY too hard on myself. 😉 😉 giggle
Anyway what got me thinking about this is the following,
When I read this I recognised these words straight away, they are almost exactly what my frantic thought loop says to me.
This can go on constantly in my head for days and eventually I get really sick of it.
I have learnt that praying will switch this off for a time. But it will come back.
I’m hoping with my counselling and getting closer to God I will overcome this.
My lovely friend Fiona suggested that I had a read of Battlefield of the mind by Joyce Meyer.
I’m so glad she told me about this book. It has really helped me today.
This is a chunk of what I read and then decided to blog.
I do find that writing my thoughts down really helps me.
Enjoy. 🙂 xx
When discouragement or condemnation tries to overtake you, examine your thought life. What kind of thoughts have you been thinking? Have they sounded something like this?
‘I’m not going to make it; this is too hard. I always fail, it has always been the same, nothing ever changes, I’m sure other people don’t have this much trouble getting their minds renewed. I may as well give up. I’m tired of trying. I pray, but it seems as if God doesn’t hear. He probably doesn’t answer my prayers because He is so disappointed in the way I act.’
If this example represents your thoughts, it is no wonder you get discouraged or come under condemnation. Remember, you become what you think. Think discouraging thoughts, and you’ll get discouraged. Think condemning thoughts, and you’ll come under condemnation. Change your thinking and be set free!
Instead of thinking negative think like this:
‘Well, things are going a little slow; but, thank God, I’m making some progress. I’m very glad I’m on the right path that will lead me to freedom. I had a rough day yesterday. I chose wrong thinking all day long. Father, forgive me, and help me to “keep on keeping on”. I made a mistake, but at least that is one mistake I won’t have to make again. This is a new day. You love me, Lord. Your mercy is new every morning.
‘I refuse to be discouraged. I refuse to be condemned. Father the Bible says that You don’t condemn me. You sent Jesus to die for me. I’ll be fine – today will be a great day. You help me choose right thoughts today.’
I’m sure you can already feel the victory in this type of cheerful, positive, God-like thinking.