Over the last few days I have been feeling really down and not able to filter why I was feeling the way I was feeling. I spoke to both my hubby and my closest friend about this as the coping strategies I have in place didn’t seem to shift how I was feeling.
No amount of ABBA was getting rid of this dark cloud.
I wrote a few extremely emotional poems, that I could only share with my nearest and dearest.
Sorry folks, I have to keep some things private.
This helped me to get an understanding of just what it was that was bothering me.
I hadn’t got a clue to start with, I had so many loops all saying negative things.
How I got through it
I can’t really go into detail about this, but I will share how I got through it. As I am quite impressed that this has only taken a few days, now that I am gaining an understanding of my Aspie ways. I have been stuck in these depressive pits for months in the past. Isolating myself away from everyone and totally unable to communicate.
So this is how it went
This is what worked for me this time. We are all different and that’s great, having a strategy for the next time this happens is only going to help. My blog is the best place to keep this, because I will find it here. Also me sharing this may help someone who is reading it.
First I prayed about how I was feeling, I did this by writing my prayer down as writing helps me to focus.
Then I read my Bible, the word of God is a real comfort to me and helps me through life.
I wrote out how I was feeling in free style poetry and gave this poem to my closest friend. I know she prays for me. Having a friend who prays for you , in my opinion, is the greatest gift a friend can ever give you. She also accepts me just as I am, never judges me and I can be myself 100% with her. I consider myself very blessed to have such a friend and I thank God for her every day.
Once I had gone into shutdown
I found it extremely hard to communicate. I found it almost impossible to find things to talk about. So I just stopped talking. In the past this is the time I usually sit staring and listening to my negative loops.
This time I chose to start creating.
I made fractals then I went onto painting. I also pushed myself to be totally open with the two people in my life I can share this with. I haven’t done this in the past, I have internalised it and beat myself up about not being able to express my views, or for just being the way I am.
I don’t do this anymore, I write it out and share it…If that doesn’t work then I paint.
While painting, “Inside the Fish”
I was able to focus and enjoy the relaxation I get from painting abstract. I usually listen to music while painting, but within this time I needed the quiet to figure out and pray for a way forward.
So there you have it
I’m back…I have words again.
I am not sitting in my pit.
Not quite back at my Aspie-happy yet, but I know what the problem is now, and together with God, we are finding ways forward.
Give me a few more days, and a few more prayers and I will be able to say…
Hey bloggy friend, ” I turned it upside down!”
Love and hugs. xx 🙂