I woke up this morning with a head full of ideas on the intensity of emotion and reasoning behind shutting down over the years. I quickly grabbed my mobile and emailed my close friend who helps me to understand what is Aspie and what is not. I thank God for this friend she is a total blessing to me, because with the way my dyslexia affects me it is impossible for me to research this for myself. She is also the most wonderful and lovely friend, and she makes me giggle.
I am so glad I wrote to her about this because later on in the day, I had an experience that caused my most negative thought loops to totally take over and make me forget the positive inspiration that I’d had. I was able to re-read the email I sent to her once I had gained control of my thoughts.
So this is how my day went today.
I was so excited about going to Church this morning, it was our Children’s service, I just love our Children’s services!!
Our Vicar played the Banjo and his friend, who is a very big macho man, played the tambourine. It was totally out of tune but I just loved it, it was SO VERY different. The congregation seemed to giggle along in song.
Our message today was about changing and not staying the same…our preacher used her old slippers and her new slippers as a prop. She explained how her old slippers were comfortable and seemed familiar. Whereas her new ones felt uncomfortable and she is not used to them yet.
This made me really think about my blog and all the changes I have gone through over the last six months of blogging. How stepping out in faith and doing the uncomfortable has brought many blessings. It brought a lovely big smile to my face actually, as I thought about how God loves us all so very much. He brings change and growth into our lives, and He gives us what we need to get through it.
I came home in such a good mood and then I opened some post I had forgotten about.
My happy mood was completely zapped, and my brain instantly filled with negativity.
My *CAL’s Request for statutory assessment has been declined
This means I have to make an appeal. I have found all the paper work relating to this so stressful and I have to keep asking my sister to fill in all the forms with me. My sister is wonderful with this and she doesn’t mind at all, but she has so many challenges in her life with *little J and *EJ. They are both showing traits of being on the spectrum also *little J has severe Epilepsy and he is heavily medicated. You can read about her life on her blog HERE IS THE LINK.
Well…when the Alienhippy is overwhelmed she prays.
I took myself off into my conservatory and grabbed my guitar. Music and prayer are one of the ways I have found to turn off my “frantic thought loop” and also the one I call my “Mental Martha.”
Now this may sound bizarre
And this may sound even more BIZARRE!!!
But… to me and a few others it will sound perfectly “normal” if there is such a thing…I tend to not do normal.
I have tried it, it didn’t make me happy and I found it to be a bit boring….but that’s just the way I am!!
I have shared in the past of how God has spoken to me through a Chicken.
Also I have spoken about a little Sparrow listening to me sing to God.
Well God sent His encouragement and spoke to me today through my Dog ROCK.
This is what happened.
ROCK came to the back door of the conservatory and was watching me through the window, he looked so interested and was frowning at me. People who know dogs will know this look.
Now…I don’t usually let my dogs into the conservatory but I could see that ROCK wanted to tell me something, so I let him in. I was singing a very special song to me and praising God through its words. ROCK sat down and was doing that head tilting thing, the one that dogs do when they are interested and lovingly want to be part of your world. He did this through all of the verses, and every time I sang the chorus he did his puppy stance…you know the one where they stick their bums up in the air, wag their tails and bow down. He also grumbled along with my singing.
My dog was actually singing with me.
My lovely big fat dopey Rottweiler can sing,
and he bows down and sings to God.
Isn’t that just amazing!
Now I do realise that a lot of people reading this will be thinking I’m a complete nutter.
Or…that I am completely ga-ga and I may have lost the plot.
But I am telling you exactly what happened, I know God reaches me through animals sometimes and I know that this was His way of telling me that He is in control.
I might seem to be a bit scatty…that’s because I am scatty!
But….. when it comes to my kids I am on the ball.
My sister has already helped me to work out our next step.
We will, with God’s help, sort out everything that my *CAL needs.