Poem…Looking Forward not back!

Looking Forward not back!

by Alienhippy

If I had a time machine, where would I go in time?

It’s quite simple really, I’d go back to 1969

I would befriend my own Mother at the age of 19

She’d be pregnant with me, my face yet unseen


I wouldn’t tell her who I was, but…I’d tell her I’m an Aspie

I’d tell her all about the problems my Aspie life has dealt me

She wouldn’t have a clue but her nature would be loving

I saw her hospitality all the time when I was growing


I saw how her personality would really confuse my Dad

His inability to socialise made him get really mad

But he couldn’t express in words or write how he felt down

So…we would have the aftermath of his Autistic meltdown


I’d explain to my Mom how important it is, to look out for what is the trigger

I’d mention about the damage done, when hearing people snigger

I’d talk to her about how it was when I was just a teen

So she could be aware of reasons why I go off into my daydream

I’d tell her what objects she needs to hide make her aware of my depressions

Be aware of all the times and why I skived off so many lessons

I’d tell her all about my dyslexia, so she’d get me all the help I’d need

She’d find a way to help me cope and…maybe learn earlier to read

She’d then understand that I’m not shy just fearful of rejection

She’d learn to broaden my horizon not smother me with over protection


But if I had a time machine and I went back in time

And changed the person who I am…this life would not be mine

All the stuff I’m learning the things I share with my friends

And all the love I feel inside as God helps me to mend


All the memories God can use the bad ones and the good

Would not be mine, I’d not be me, so I don’t think I should

Even think about a time machine, because now God helps me see

That His plan is I’m an Aspie and I can help by just being me


10 thoughts on “Poem…Looking Forward not back!

  1. This has a really wistful tone until the surprise ending. Which I agree with – the person we are is shaped by what has happened to us, so why would we want to change anything, good or bad?

    A lovely poem, Lisa.

  2. Wow Lisa! I always learn so much from your blog.
    On your previous post I commented that I would like to change the understanding of Asperger’s held by the adults in my childhood (as well as my own understanding). But then I would not be β€œme.” I would have grown up to be someone else.
    Far better and simpler to just accept and love me just as I am! Something I would advise others but am slow to apply to myself.
    Thanks for this!
    Bruce πŸ™‚

  3. What a wonderful poem! It really took me by surprise because my mom was also 19 when she first got pregnant with me in 1969. I think if anything I would tell my mom she deserves to find peace and to do whatever she had to do to find it.

  4. what a lovely poem!

    I think that finding purpose behind the things we’d like to change is very liberating. πŸ™‚

    I need to think of this more often when lamenting in my head about the things I wish were different…

    hugs! ❀

  5. Lisa – this is a wonderful poem, so beautifully expressed. It really has touched me. The ending is so right…if we could go back and change things, then we would not be who we are today.

    Lisa, you and you alone have raised my awareness of Aspergers Syndrome and for that I am very grateful. You are raising awareness to many others, I am sure….you are just perfect as you are and you are indeed gifted.

    Thanks for your friendship – I’m so glad we met on bloggyland!! xx

  6. Hello my friends,
    I am so behind with my comments I have decided to answer you all with one comment.

    Tilly….The surprise ending was a surprise for me too, it suddenly dawned on me.

    Spectrummy Mummy….Glad you enjoyed my poem. xx πŸ™‚

    slp….Thank you for your comment, I quite like the idea of a Tardis still. I guess that’s the Aspie in me.

    Dislecksia….I might just do that, thank you. πŸ™‚

    Bruce…Hello my friend πŸ™‚ I am so terribly bad at keeping up with my reading…lol. xx πŸ™‚

    Aspiegirl Maybe….What a coincidence, so we are the same age. x πŸ™‚

    Daleth….Hello my friend, I still need to get over to your blog. I will get there believe me. xx πŸ™‚

    Chloe, Chloe, Chloe…help…lol. Love ya! Thank you for your friendship too. xXx πŸ™‚

    Hello Auntie Linda, you don’t have to understand, I very rarely understand myself. I’m just a babbler, you know this. Don’t try to understand me, just accept that I am, what I am. Love you. xxx πŸ™‚

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