Why I wrote my poem…”Please be nice!”
My blog is…”A place where I can be me!”
So, what do I want to be remembered for?
I am documenting my own history here.
I came to bloggyland to escape
Yes that’s right…to escape the hurt I felt from being misunderstood and also, the hurt I caused for myself by misunderstanding others.
I have lived as an undiagnosed Aspie with dyslexia trying desperately to feel loved and to give love my whole life. I have never been able to fit and I find it very hard to understand the rejection and hurt that I have experienced my whole life.
I have found deep friendship here in bloggyland that I never thought I would find.
I have friends who are both Aspies and NT’s, I can communicate well with both through writing.
As a Christian I try my best to see the needs of others
To help those that God has put into my life. This is something I have to pray about because as an Aspie, I only really understand how I think and feel, and how I perceive the ways of this world.
My dyslexia stops me from reading anything that becomes negative. I have learned this about myself from being here in bloggyland. I believe that this is also the wiring of my Aspie brain and the two working together to benefit me.
So when I mooch around in bloggyland and find new blogs and the writer has a negative way of writing, they maybe attacking a particular group just on principal or opinion. To me I have the same reaction inside as I do when someone is racist. I feel sick and can’t bear to read anymore.
My beautiful little nephews are mixed race and I love my brother in law who is from Jamaican decent.
I am saddened when I read peoples comments and there is an US vs THEM approach.
Bloggyland and being a part of the Autistic community here
is my social life.
It is made up of a very wide range of wonderful people, from both Autistic and Neurotypical minds. I love it here but this week I have been sad, when I’m sad I pray more. When I pray more I see more clearly what is making me sad.
What we write as our blog posts and comments is read by many people.
I have sat and thought long and hard about this. About the posts I have written and the comments I have left. In all honesty I think I may also have taken this stance on occasion, when I have had a light bulb moment. But I hope in what I have written and how it is read that I have not stereotyped all NT’s based on the bullying I have experienced from a few in my past. If anyone has read me like this, I am truly sorry and I didn’t intend it that way.
I feel quite blessed to have my dyslexia
Because once negativity hits my brain what I am reading becomes almost impossible for me to focus on. I watch my hubby sometimes trying to read something boring from work. His eyes go out of focus because he is drifting off to sleep. This is similar to how it is for me, only I am not falling to sleep. My brain is just telling me not to read anymore and the words will start to swirl around on the page or the screen.
Unless you’re dyslexic and an Aspie you will not have this filter. Some people will not see that negativity can play on the mind and cause hurt and confusion.
SO…this is why I wrote my poem, “Please be nice!”
The Autistic community here in bloggyland
Is made up of many beautiful people, all trying to find their own way. Some are here trying to learn how to be their best for those they love who have an ASD. Others are here trying to discover who they are and why they have never been able to fit. We are all here trying to learn and help one another. Not hurt one another.
We should not be pointing the finger at any group of people based on our own hurts and understandings. I know that I can be guilty of this when I am hurting, but I try my best not to publish it.
A lot of my hurt has been caused by myself not wanting to see from another’s point of view and taking it personally as an attack on who I am. I have also been hurt deliberately by not very nice people, but these people were bullies and controllers and that is not what we are about here. This is a community with a common cause. To help, support and give friendship to those affected by ASD in whatever way we can.
Or am I getting this all wrong…because that’s what I am here for anyway.
To be able to give and receive love and friendship, because here I can be me.
I haven’t read many books about the Spectrum
I only share what I have lived and how I am living, both as an adult Aspie and the parent of Aspies.
Researching is too hard for me so I rely on the interpretation of those who translate the medical books and make it personal.
There are going to be others who are like me, some may never comment or have their own blogs.
But they still see us as their friends and read what we put to print for the world to see.
When my Mom was dying and on a life support machine, she wrote a note for my brother my sister and myself.
It is a very simple message but one I would like to share.
She said, “Find Jesus and love one another!”
So, I’m saying to all my lovely bloggy friend out there in glorious bloggyland, “Please be nice!”