What is the “SPIRIT” of Christmas?

Hello my lovely friends out there in bloggyland.

I just have something short to share here as it is Saturday morning and we are about to crack on with the decorating, yet again, will it ever end….ugh

Yesterday I was feeling rather low, sometimes the opinions and looks I get really hurt. I can feel quite isolated by the way people treat me. I am very high functioning and I can do all the surface stuff and look like I fit, but I crave deeper friendship and more interesting conversation.

Wanting deeper friendships and not being able to find people in my life outside of bloggyland and email can really get to me sometimes. I don’t know or understand how to be shallow. Also I find polite conversation extremely irritating. Sometimes even painful at times….lol

Also knowing that I can be an annoyance to people when they are friendly makes me quite confused sometimes. I don’t read people very well and this causes me to get quite hurt because I confuse politeness and acquaintances as a reach of friendship. I think I am ok if I just do all the expected things, the surface crap that everyone else seems to do. But…once I start being myself people run for the hills or look at me like I have two heads or something.

I have spent the last 5 months discovering what being an adult on the Autistic spectrum means to me.

I feel safe here in bloggyland, I have friends that care and understand. Out there in the world it is so much harder. People can be so shallow, and they say that we are the selfish, self consumed ones. Are we, or do we just not let ourselves out anymore because of the rejection we experienced growing up???

The shops at the moment are so full of people

They are all rushing around only interested in getting what they need for Christmas. They push and shove, I have even witnessed two women fighting over a toy in one shop. I find this kind of behaviour so hard to cope with. With my sensory problems the shops can seem quite terrifying at this time.

I love Christmas it’s a time of giving and a time to celebrate the birth of Christ.

This world make no sense at all when I see this type of behaviour in my local shops. I wonder why people behave this way towards one another. I was brought up very much protected and, as I have said before, our family lived in an Autistic bubble. BUT….I was safe.

My little sis was sensible and got all her Christmas presents sorted before the rush.

Also with little *J’s epilepsy, she had to go before all the flashing lights went up, as they can trigger off his seizures.

But you know what I’m like!

I just didn’t think as usual. I am so hopeless at preplanning. I was saying this to *AJ this morning I love weekends and holidays because there are no time limits set on me. I am hopeless at getting anywhere on time and this is where I am getting hurt. I can’t seem to be able to do what is required of me. Then I am made to feel like I am wrong, inadequate or broken in some way.

I wrote a poem yesterday and blogged it.

A lovely bloggy friend Heather from “Where the Butterflies go” picked up on my feelings in this poem, perhaps because she is a poet.

Being the lovely person she is, she left me a very helpful comment. She was listening to Bon Jovi while reading my post and left me a few of the lyrics to encourage me.

The lyrics read, “step into the deep end, make yourself at home. When you wonder why you’re breathing, know you’re not alone.”

Well I had to listen to this so what does an Aspie YouTube addict do when given lyrics?

YES…we mooch! I just love YouTube mooching.

I found the video, I even found it with lyrics…but I needed cartoon….That’s just how I work…giggle

I found a wonderful video of this song it hasn’t got the lyrics, but “joy oh joy!”

It is with the kids film….”Spirit” I so love kids films.

If you haven’t watched Spirit then please do yourself a favour and get the DVD. It is such a wonderful film about being trapped and made to be something you are not. Spirit is a wild horse made to conform….can you see where I am going with this….giggle.

While watching this video I also found something very inspiring for a friend of mine.

So, yet again I am amazed at the way God works

in His most mysterious of ways.

Enjoy this video I found it very helpful in so many ways.


6 thoughts on “What is the “SPIRIT” of Christmas?

  1. It’s not you that is confused Lisa it’s the rest of the people in the world.
    Look what you experienced while shopping.grown people fighting over getting a certain toy that’s popular for their kids.I remember when the cabbage patch doll was all the rage .The same thing happened .they waited in line for hours .The doll was probably played with for a short time them thrown in a toy box with the rest of the stuff,when the novility wore off. That’s not what the spirit of Christmas is.My husband doesn’t like it at all ,because of the greed and want want want .All I like is the Turkey dinner with all the trimmings .lol

  2. Wow, I’d never seen that video, and didn’t know the song was from SPIRIT. Need to get that movie on DVD! I’m so glad I helped a little, Lisa. I feel the same way you do –I think many of us do and just aren’t honest enough to express it like you seem to do so well.
    Happy decorating–play some music and enjoy!

  3. You’re alright, It’s alright, It’s just life.
    Everybody is broken in this life.
    Brilliant Bon Jovi Song.

    You aren’t the only cracked pot, but you are the only one uniquely lined and cracked the way you are. Like the rest of us, made for a purpose, that God has preplanned for us.

    So Hakuna Matata.
    Be happy.
    Big Love to you sis.
    You’re perfect just the way you are.

    The .com shops aren’t as crowded 😉
    Love You xxxx

  4. Sometimes life does feel like that.
    Just remember if there is a problem.
    It’s a problem others perceive in you, so it’s actually their problem.
    Unless you let it get to you then it becomes your problem.
    I regularly have this problem. lol

  5. Lisa, I Sooooo understand where you are coming from. Isn’t it just a glaring contradiction that people push and shove when they are supposed to be celebrating the very festival that ought to have people treating one another with more kindness? It’s such a shame that Christmas is so commercialised these days…it makes me sad too.

    I can understand everything you’ve said in this post…but, even if the world out there does not necessarily give us the time/friendship that we desire, let’s just be grateful for the amazing friends we have here in bloggyland (and i know you are grateful)…we’re more honest here… and also creative people are more likely to be soul-searching than a lot of those other earthling type creatures 🙂

    Be you, be who you are, and if people can’t accept that, it’s THEIR problem.

    Love and hugs,
    Chloe xx

  6. I have never heard this song before. You know that I would protect you from every hurt in this World if it was in my power but I can’t. You have Great Faith and God will give you a way of coping with the behaviour of others. Lots of Love xxxx

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