I can never find things you know!
They can literally be right under my nose and I just can’t see them.
I was just looking for a bag of sugar, now if I lived on my own…which I don’t, I know that my home would be immaculate.
Let me just tell you…..
See if you can picture this…..
Everything would have its own place and all labels would face to the front.
My draining board would never have anything left on it, it would all be very neatly put away. In size order with all handles pointing to the right, at exactly the same angle.
There would never be anything left in the washing basket, it would always be empty. My electricity bill would be astronomical, but at least we wouldn’t keep running out of clean pants….lol
All dry clean clothes would be professionally ironed and hanging in a particular order by colour and hanger in the right place. Going through the colour spectrum in rainbow order, just as I do with all of my art supplies…..well I got the idea from somewhere you know, you don’t just call yourself a multi-coloured Rainbow for no reason………I can’t stop smiling now.
Ok…and moving on.
All clothing would be hung with a 2 inch gap between each garment. With clips holding sleeves in place, to stop any creases occurring….we can’t have creases, it’s just not perfect.
Magazines and remote controls would always be in a particular order, in a very straight line, on my extremely highly polished coffee table. Also very neatly placed coasters for drinks as my wood is so very precious to me….LMHO
Scatter cushions would be nicely shaken, plumped and placed as if ready for a photo shoot for a centre page in one of those glossy magazines I used to buy. So I could live the dream….giggle
All tassels on rugs would be combed daily and light bulbs frequently cleaned with essential oils to give off the aroma of my choosing, making my sterile perfection-bubble, all mine and smelling lovely.
Skirting boards would be cleaned weekly with a tooth brush, just to make sure all that dust is gone, also wiping over door frames, doors and handles….we can’t have any finger prints left around someone might talk about me.
My kitchen surfaces would be wiped down at least 3 times a day with Milton sterilizing fluid, we have to get rid of all those nasty germs now don’t we, and people will insist on breathing all the time.
Oh and let’s not forget the vacuuming. I must make sure there is not one crumb anywhere to be seen….just in case I get a visitor. So, even if I have to vacuum 6 times a day, I will just to make sure all that invisible dust and those microscopic creatures that live inside my carpets are no longer there.
Then I know I can sleep at night….or can I???
Yes you’ve got it, this is how my obsessively paranoid behaviour affected me once upon a time.
I took control of my frantic thought loop by never giving it a minute to think.
Problem was once all the necessary housework was done, I went onto ridiculous things also including……
Always putting the kettle away after use, in a cupboard because having it left out was not an option.
Cleaning around all buttons with anti-bacterial, a cocktail stick and cotton bud.
Taking things apart so I can clean the inside too, this included my cooker, microwave and video recorder….I will say here the video recorder really did need a clean out, because while I was so busy doing such stupid things the 2 year old *AJ was feeding his best friend Mr V, with Jam Sandwiches, crisps a collection of coins and a banana skin.
I just noticed even back then he had a thing about sandwiches and bananas….lmho
Do you know what changed it all…..???
It wasn’t getting married, it still carried on, in fact it got worse.
It wasn’t having a baby, that just brought on the germ phobia.
It was losing my home and all my belongings for a 12 month period that totally change the way I look at material wealth.
Going without, sleeping in spare rooms and on sofas.
Cooking food on a camping stove in the boot of my car. While being out in the middle of the country side.
Having no rules, regulations or opinions. No time limits, commitments or hassel.
Enjoying just being myself with my boy, looking into his darling brown eyes and knowing God would not forget us.
I realised just what I had under my nose, my family, friends and my relationship with God.
When I came back to my house
after 5 single men had lived in it for 12 months, it was not the home I remembered.
I cried and cried and cried, and then God changed my heart.
I walked around my home and I thanked Him for all the stains on my carpets and the blocked drains.
The dirt left in my cupboards, the broken electrics and stained beds.
The broken toilet my extremely overgrown garden…and the fresh start I had been given, at that time as a single parent.