“It’s lose your memory day!”
The title is what my little *CAL said to me as we tried to find the car. Yes I forgot where I parked it.
The back gate of *CALS school is on a T junction, so that gives 3 directions to walk up and down looking. Do you think I could remember? Honestly my short term memory is so awful.
I don’t usually lose the car though, so what happened today???
I Googled something….OH NO! Don’t do that Lisa. Not unless it’s a kiddie film or something really nice and floatie, you know how airy-fairy your brain is….. you silly girl.
Well thanks for that little voice, you do fill me full of confidence don’t you!
Let me explain…..
Today Mr Locoman had the day off work, and guess what???
ALL our unopened boxes are gone…YIPPY…WOOHOO…AND…YAY! as I throw my arms in the air.
Giggle……………………….I’m just so strange, in a good way though.
Well we decided this afternoon, after my shift at school, to go “PAINT SHOPPING!”
Oooooo…you must say, “PAINT SHOPPING!” in a high pitched kiddie voice while clapping you hands, and bouncing a little on your chair, to get the full excitement of this experience. Or if you are me.
It’s so cool…I so love paint….OH… ALL THOSE WONDERFUL COLOURS.
Well it was just too much excitement for me, I had to get a few pamphlets and go somewhere quiet.
Now usually I do ALL the DIY on my own,
but as I am learning about my aspie ways and growing in my understanding of myself, I don’t really want to anymore……giggle
So Mr Locoman is being dragged everywhere, involved in everything and learning things he never thought he would have to do……and he is loving it, may I add.
We go to the little coffee shop inside this DIY warehouse and grab 2 cappuccinos.
Mr Locoman says, “Where do you want to sit?”
Me…”I always sit there!”…and I point to where I usually sit to think and watch and get away from the crowds.
So… he carries the drinks to the table while I grab some sugar.
Then I panicked, he had sat in my chair…the one I always sit in. I didn’t know what to do.
12 years we have been married and only now can I say,
“I need to sit in that chair or I will freak out and not like you very much.”
He burst out laughing…but thinks I’m incredibly cute and of course he gave me the chair.
My thoughts then came out of my mouth, this is happening a lot lately, and I started to babble about the strange choice of lighting they had in this coffee shop. There were 9 rather large suspended orange cubes hanging quite low down.
I then said to Mr Locoman…”I wonder how they change the light bulbs love?”
Mr Locoman was very amused by me and he said, “Does your brain always work like this?”
I said, “Yes always, I just thought every bodies did!”
SEE….that’s the thing.
My Dad has classic Autism and my Mom suffered with depression all her life. So we never really left our bubble.
I don’t really know what is Aspie and what is not. With my dyslexia it is pretty hard for me to find out.
We then talked a little about my obsessive behaviour and how I can spiral if I don’t keep to a pattern.
I explained to him how I think when I do this, and my lovely hubby said he wondered if it was a kind of paranoia.
I think he is sort of right I have lots of fears, and they play in my head as clearly as a DVD.
This then causes me to obsess on what I fear.
So why on earth did I Google paranoia?…..giggle
I wanted to see if it was linked to Aspergers, and it is BIG TIME.
SO… that is all it took for me to lose my memory and forget where I parked the car.
I didn’t even read any of it, my dyslexic filter will not let me, but now I have another piece to the jigsaw puzzle of my life and it is fascinating.
I am now aware of my tendency to be obsessive and maybe even paranoid.
It’s part of who I am.
To me this means I care far more than most about everything.
I constantly think of how to help others.
I can’t sleep at night because I worry about the people I love, so I get up and pray for them.
God loves me just as I am and accepts me as his little girl, fearfully and wonderfully made.
So I am praying for God to point out when my obsessiveness becomes a little paranoid.
And I will wait for Him to show me and change me from within.
I know He will…..God is SO Good!