It has not been long since we had quite a lot of building work done on our home, including a two floor extension. This was a long process and extremely stressful. The amount of work we had done was intense and there has not been one room that hasn’t been affected by the changes.
We had to live in our house while all this was being done around us. It was very hard at times, but our builders were fantastic. They were just a wonderful bunch of lads. I actually miss them turning up at 8am every morning and chatting while having a cuppa.
So now we are left with quite a lot of mess, we still have no proper kitchen and every room has got to be redecorated. The dust from the building work was awful, and I’m still finding it in all the nooks and crannies. The only room I am happy sitting in is my new conservatory.
One of the many jobs we have had done is having a whole new roof with velux window.
Turning our loft space into a hobby room. Mr Locoman loves trains and he along with *CAL will enjoy building a lay-out with a model village….I personally am so looking forward to making those little Tudor houses, and lots of little trees…..lol
Well as you know most people just keep junk in there loft or attic
………………………………………………………(whatever you want to call it).
We are no exception. Everything had to come down and it was put into the new bedroom, and it filled the new bedroom.
…………………….I’m an aspie remember, I collect……………..lmho
Yesterday I really wanted to have a good crack at sorting, I really had my heart in it until I noticed some boxes.
These boxes I had almost forgotten about!
They have been up there hidden away for 15 years.
Now God wants me to own this part of my life and maybe cry through it as tears bring me healing.
I packed these boxes thinking I would never see them again in a time in my life that I found extremely hard. I had gotten to the point of giving up. I packed these boxes with all the memories I wanted my ex husband to have. I had just lost my home and I didn’t ever think I would return.
The thought of sorting these boxes stole my Aspie-happy all day yesterday. Every time I walked into the room, my eyes were drawn to them and I found myself stimming and pacing, getting really anxious inside and having to walk back out again.
By the time Mr. Locoman got home from work, I was in tears and just wanted to stay where I felt safe, in his arms.
My lovely hubby has booked some days off next week and he is going to help me through this. We agree that if we just throw these boxes out I’m not dealing with my past. So, I’m about to start walking yet another wobbly path.
BUT……………………………………I know God is in control.
I have a wonderful husband and a lovely friend.
I know this will bring growth and release.
I am actually quite positive about this now, that’s why I’m sharing it.
I’m turning the negativity upside-down.
I am a multi coloured Rainbow……you see us best after a storm.
…………………….As the sun/The Son catches us.
This is the poem I wrote yesterday when I was extremely emotional.
I have a room full of memories
And I don’t know what to do
I’m walking round in circles
Feeling lost and so confused
I don’t want to open those boxes
They bring on too many fears
That memories will come flooding back
And bring on yet more tears
I really want this sorted
I need to just move on
I know I grow through crying
This hurt I just want gone
But I remember packing all those boxes
The pain that I went through
Not wanting my life to ever return
It was no longer me and you
But that’s another life ago
Why have I still got your stuff
It’s time to throw the whole lot out
I think enough’s enough