Unopened Boxes.

Unopened Boxes.

image from Google

It has not been long since we had quite a lot of building work done on our home, including a two floor extension. This was a long process and extremely stressful. The amount of work we had done was intense and there has not been one room that hasn’t been affected by the changes.

We had to live in our house while all this was being done around us. It was very hard at times, but our builders were fantastic. They were just a wonderful bunch of lads. I actually miss them turning up at 8am every morning and chatting while having a cuppa.

So now we are left with quite a lot of mess, we still have no proper kitchen and every room has got to be redecorated. The dust from the building work was awful, and I’m still finding it in all the nooks and crannies. The only room I am happy sitting in is my new conservatory.

One of the many jobs we have had done is having a whole new roof with velux window.

Turning our loft space into a hobby room. Mr Locoman loves trains and he along with *CAL will enjoy building a lay-out with a model village….I personally am so looking forward to making those little Tudor houses, and lots of little trees…

Well as you know most people just keep junk in there loft or attic

………………………………………………………(whatever you want to call it).

We are no exception. Everything had to come down and it was put into the new bedroom, and it filled the new bedroom.

…………………….I’m an aspie remember, I collect……………..lmho

Yesterday I really wanted to have a good crack at sorting, I really had my heart in it until I noticed some boxes.

These boxes I had almost forgotten about!

They have been up there hidden away for 15 years.

Now God wants me to own this part of my life and maybe cry through it as tears bring me healing.

I packed these boxes thinking I would never see them again in a time in my life that I found extremely hard. I had gotten to the point of giving up. I packed these boxes with all the memories I wanted my ex husband to have. I had just lost my home and I didn’t ever think I would return.

The thought of sorting these boxes stole my Aspie-happy all day yesterday. Every time I walked into the room, my eyes were drawn to them and I found myself stimming and pacing, getting really anxious inside and having to walk back out again.

By the time Mr. Locoman got home from work, I was in tears and just wanted to stay where I felt safe, in his arms.

My lovely hubby has booked some days off next week and he is going to help me through this. We agree that if we just throw these boxes out I’m not dealing with my past. So, I’m about to start walking yet another wobbly path.

BUT……………………………………I know God is in control.

I have a wonderful husband and a lovely friend.

I know this willΒ  bring growth and release.

I am actually quite positive about this now, that’s why I’m sharing it.

I’m turning the negativity upside-down.

I am a multi coloured Rainbow……you see us best after a storm.

…………………….As the sun/The Son catches us.

This is the poem I wrote yesterday when I was extremely emotional.

Unopened Boxes

by Alienhippy

I have a room full of memories

And I don’t know what to do

I’m walking round in circles

Feeling lost and so confused

I don’t want to open those boxes

They bring on too many fears

That memories will come flooding back

And bring on yet more tears

I really want this sorted

I need to just move on

I know I grow through crying

This hurt I just want gone

But I remember packing all those boxes

The pain that I went through

Not wanting my life to ever return

It was no longer me and you

But that’s another life ago

Why have I still got your stuff

It’s time to throw the whole lot out

I think enough’s enough


20 thoughts on “Unopened Boxes.

  1. Glad you will have Mr. Locoman at your side.
    It is amazing how things can stir up memories, and the emotions come flooding in. And the pain.
    Be kind to you, Lisa. Pace yourself. Just be with them, place them in God’s hands. They will pass.
    The Son will catch you!
    And you’ll be a multi coloured rainbow once again!

  2. I’m so glad that your Mr Locoman is giving his time and himself to help you in this enormous emotional task. Some things DO take a long time to heal. I’ll be thinking of – and praying for – you both as you “deal with the memories” of a hurtful past. Bless you and your family. Hugs across the miles, Pippa

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  5. The words of your poem flow so well Lisa! You really are talented as a poet. So glad you have such a supportive husband to help you through this difficult task…he sounds like a rock! I love the way you write…and am looking forward to catching up on your other posts…like…now!!! Love ya πŸ˜€ xx

    • Chloe you are so lovely you must have spent all afternoon on my blog.
      It was a lovely surprise to get all those notification come through.
      You are just so encouraging. I love it when people comment, you made my day.
      Love and hugs.
      Lisa. xx πŸ™‚

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