Yesterday I wrote a post about my past as a Mommy.
I felt very inspired about it when I wrote it, but then when I came to publish it, I hovered over the click.
I knew once I clicked on publish it would be out there, for all the world to see…“I am the Mommy”
Don’t get me wrong I hover a lot, but this is usually because I am terrible at spelling.
Well terrible with worrying about how my writing is coming across actually.
My dyslexia has always made me doubt myself. Then my aspie brain takes that doubt onto a whole new level.
This was different, it was my life that was going to be under scrutiny and judgment not my spelling.
I usually wrap things up in poetry and make them less about me.
However I felt totally inspired and my post almost wrote itself. A lot of my poems do that too.
After I listened to God and clicked publish I went off to pray.
I then spent most of my day praying while trying to stop myself from obsessively worrying about what people might think of me.
I eventually sat down and wrote a poem.
So here it is…….
by Lisa Lock
Very often I feel insecure
And feel that I am not worthy
To call myself a Christian
When my head is filled with worry
I pray and pray and pray some more
But still fall very short
Of understanding what God plans
His lessons I’ve been taught
But still I take it on myself
To try to change my life
Not waiting for His perfect plan
To free me of my strife
If I could only just, “Be Still”
And feel His warm strong arms
Then snuggle deep into His chest
I’d feel so loved and calm