So then I got insecure!

Yesterday I wrote a post about my past as a Mommy.

I felt very inspired about it when I wrote it, but then when I came to publish it, I hovered over the click.

I knew once I clicked on publish it would be out there, for all the world to see…“I am the Mommy”

Don’t get me wrong I hover a lot, but this is usually because I am terrible at spelling.

Well terrible with worrying about how my writing is coming across actually.

My dyslexia has always made me doubt myself. Then my aspie brain takes that doubt onto a whole new level.

This was different, it was my life that was going to be under scrutiny and judgment not my spelling.

I usually wrap things up in poetry and make them less about me.

However I felt totally inspired and my post almost wrote itself. A lot of my poems do that too.

After I listened to God and clicked publish I went off to pray.

I then spent most of my day praying while trying to stop myself from obsessively worrying about what people might think of me.

I eventually sat down and wrote a poem.

So here it is…….

Insecure

by Lisa Lock

Very often I feel insecure

And feel that I am not worthy

To call myself a Christian

When my head is filled with worry

˜

I pray and pray and pray some more

But still fall very short

Of understanding  what God plans

His lessons I’ve been taught

˜

But still I take it on myself

To try to change my life

Not waiting for His perfect plan

To free me of my strife

˜

If I could only just, “Be Still”

And feel His warm strong arms

Then snuggle deep into His chest

I’d feel so loved and calm

˜

I go again out to my chair

Wrap a blanket round me

I sing and pray and then I hear

“I’ve come to set you free!”

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12 thoughts on “So then I got insecure!

  1. Oh, I so relate to you!!! I only recently realized that God made me the way I am (struggle with anxiety/panic) with a beautiful plan. I can understand my kids and help them (and others) so much better as a result of learning how to cope/overcome myself! It is nothing to be ashamed of…but rather a tool that God can use to bring healing to others and glory to Himself!

    • Hi Merri,
      I love your positive attitude, this is how I try to be too. I see how God can use everything, when we listen and learn to overcome. Thank you for your lovely comment .
      Love and hugs. x

  2. Pingback: Supermarkets and Muddy Puddles « Alienhippy's Blog

  3. I can totally relate to wondering about posting certain items and how they will be received. I posted a few posts clearly expressing how my depression was getting in the way of life, and I felt the same concern. However, I learnt that it takes a strong person to admit having insecurities/problems/issues – and, actually, people respect you MORE for being one of the first to put your hand up and share such things. I beliwve your writing will help a LOT of people my friend – you are an inspiration!! Also, your poetry is wonderful too 😀 Have a good day and believe in yourself, cos you rock!! xx

    • Arrrr thanks Chloe you are so lovely, You are an inspiration and I must have a look at your posts because I haven’t read those. My dyslexia is a real nuisance sometimes. You will have to post me the links because I will never find them …I can’t scan.
      “You Rock Chloe!” Thanks for your very open comment, you are one strong lady.
      Love and hugs.
      Lisa. xx 🙂

  4. Pingback: Supermarkets and Muddy Puddles (Repost) « Alienhippy's Blog

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