I am the Mommy
I was really inspired by my friends post this morning called
Fiona is so extremely open and real it is refreshing, so I decided it’s about time I let some stuff out.
As I have been parenting now for 17 years I have had many life changes over that time.
I can see that I will have to break this down into different seasons. Not all of them nice.
When I lost my home!
I am the Mommy who didn’t read the paper work correctly and signed my home and all my furniture over to be rented out for 12 months, giving us no home or belongings. (I am dyslexic)
I am the Mommy who couldn’t afford food for 2 people so I didn’t eat all day and ate scraps in the kitchen I worked in on my evening shift. After having a cleaning job in the daytime that I took my baby boy to.
I am the Mommy who struggled with OCD and found having a toddler really hard, my OCD was germ related and I wanted to keep him safe. My hands bled because I washed them far too much.
I am the Mommy who walked around with holes in my boots and plastic bags on my feet, in snow and slush. But I got my boy a coat and kept him warm.
I am the Mommy who thanked God for the stains in my carpets when I got my home back because I was so grateful that we had a roof over our heads that was ours. We didn’t have to rely on family and friends any-longer.
When I went to college!
I am the Mommy who started college to try to get a better paid job not realising at the time I am dyslexic and have Aspergers. I hated leaving my little boy in the nursery from 9-4 and would get him out at lunch time because I missed him so much
I am the Mommy who had to decide alone which was the best choice to live on single parent benefits spending those precious younger years with him, or keep pushing with college so I could get work full time and leave him with a childminder. It was one of the hardest decisions I ever had to make, in the end God chose for me.
When I was sucked into a Religious sect!
I am the Mommy who only read nice Bible stories to my boy.
I am the Mommy who chose my own way of discipline to the disapproval of most of the leaders.
I am the Mommy who refused to leave my boy in Children’s ministry when he didn’t want to be there, and was having a massive tantrum. Also to the disapproval of the leaders.
I am the Mommy who carried my *AJ kicking and screaming into this sect every Sunday because I had been indoctrinated and was afraid of the consequences that certain people had put in my brain.
I am also the Mommy who spent far too much time running after friendships and approval in this sect and not paying enough attention to my lad…Thank God I had my Mom back then, and she took over where I was lacking.
Let’s get up to date shall we!
I am the Mommy who leaves the housework and takes the kids to the Safari Park or on a picnic. Only to find out we have no clean pants.
I am the Mommy who Tazzes the house work, because I would rather sit and watch a Disney film and have a cuddle off my girl.
I am the Mommy who has a job in my *CAL’s school play ground because this is the place she find the hardest.
I am the Mommy who spent my Birthday money on buying nuts and bolts and cement. So I could make my kids a swing out of branches in our garden.
I am the Mommy who dug a big hole in our garden so when it rains we can put our wellies on and dance in muddy puddles….like Peppa pig.
I am the Mommy who is constantly late taking my *CAL to school, because I get so distracted so easily and forget the time. Which then gets her a late mark.
I am the Mommy who still has to help my girl to wash and dress because she struggles with this.
I am the Mommy who goes out at 10:00 every night to fetch my 17 year old *AJ from where ever he is, because I worry about him and he has been mugged twice.
I am the Mommy who very rarely buys clothes and when I do I get them from charity shops, I spend the money I earn on my *AJ’s Gym membership and *CAL’s Piano and Violin lessons
I am the Mommy who has to play ABBA to keep me in the kitchen because I would rather be on the computer.
I am the Mommy who misses my Mommy every day, because I don’t really know what I’m doing.
I am the Mommy who believes in God and look to see Him in everyday things, so I understand that what I can’t do for my kids, God will do because He will find a way for them to receive what they need.