In July 2004, a poem came into my head while half asleep.
I didn’t take much notice till the next night when the poem returned and I wrote it down. It was the first inspirational poem I wrote.
The poetry I write is about my life.
My thoughts, feelings, emotions, hopes, dreams, joys, difficulties, hurts and fears….etc, etc, etc…you get the gist.
All in all… writing poetry brings me healing, joy and growth…It has become my counsellor.
In the year 2000 I lost my faith.
It took a four year journey before I could even understand what had happened. Losing my faith was an awful experience for me as an aspie. Jesus had always been my closest friend. I had always believed, I had always clung to my faith. Now I had so much confusion in my head I couldn’t think.
I can’t really explain here, without causing a religious debate, and I don’t like religious debates they are such a waste of time. They cause so much upset, and hurt for people.
So let’s just say….
Peoples interpretation of scripture, twisted and used in an authoritative way. Also knowingly taken out of context. Totally distorted the true message and love of Jesus Christ and the Cross. God then became fearful, vengeful and malicious in my head, causing many fears. Hence I closed down completely and went into hiding. Not just hiding but actually terrified and in hiding.
Now you need to put that into perspective…
So here we have an undiagnosed dyslexic/aspie
Who follows rules, is easily intimidated, easily controlled, and can suffer with anxiety and OCD.
*****See how easy a target we are, for these types of groups*****
So now I don’t want to discuss religion, what I would like to share is how God got me back.
So here is my poem that God helped me to write through a Chicken.
Yep…that’s right a Chicken.
This Chicken gave the most powerful message I have ever heard.
God is SO Good, He meets each of us where we are at.
Out in the garden watering the veg
My emotions and temper, running close to the edge
A voice in my head says, “You know what to do!”
And my Cockerel shouts, “DENIAL!”
“DENIAL!” crows Doodle-Doo.
On the left I keep my Chickens
On the right some bushes I prune
I’m feeling rather happy
I begin to hum a tune
What is this song I’m singing
A Heavenly message so true
So I stop and sing another
“Denial again!” calls Doodle-doo
At the bottom of my garden
Is a patch where we can play
A place to put the paddling pool
On a hot and sunny day
Or kick a ball around for fun
A grateful thought I have for you
My children’s laughter fills the air
“Denied three times!” cries Doodle-Doo
At the time I never realized, as I drove down to the aviary
That I’d end up with a Rooster, not a Red Factor Canary
But, when I heard them say, “Last day today, it’s the Butchers for you”
I brought you home, I gave you food, I named you Doodle-Doo
So now in the morning
When you call out to the new day
I wake up with a smile
I don’t deny I pray
And…when I’m out and hear you shout
I breathe in deep, sigh out relief
A smile upon my face
Understood now is God’s deep love
And His Amazing Grace!