Rules for Aspies on Acquaintances (Poem)

image from Google

Silly poem…Rules for Aspies on Acquaintances

by Alienhippy

Give as much as you are given

Try not to be too intense

Try not to ask any questions

Then you can’t cause an offence

~

Smile but only if they smile

Or they will call you a freak

Talk surface crap most of the time

Or they’ll just call you a geek

~

Don’t tell them anything personal

Unless you want everyone to know

Even though you told them in private

On facebook it will probably go

~

Acquaintances can’t all be like this

And…I’m sure a few, really do, care

But as they never turn up for coffee

Acquaintances cause me despair

~

I think I will stick to friendship

Because in that I know where I stand

I feel pretty happy with friendship

It’s a shame they all live in blogland.

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NOTE:

• If you consider yourself my friend, you will not be offended by this poem, because you already know my humour!!! Giggle giggle snort.

• If you are offended by it, I suggest we talk because you really don’t know me very well at all. I have this side to me you know. It’s just the way I am created to be.

• A message for one friend in particular…”This poem I wrote in 10 minutes flat mate!!!”…lol

Love you all. xx

Wordless Wednesday

Today we went to PC World, it’s a shop we all enjoy

Evidence that *CAL would enjoy playing with one of these

Evidence that *AJ enjoyed playing with the display model…Giggle

Fact or Fiction Double Challenge: Guess and Press

Hello my lovely Bloggy friends,

I’m following on from a post by my lovely friend Samantha Craft over at Everyday Aspergers.

Here is a link to her post where you can go and add your link if you choose to follow too.

Fact or Fiction Double Challenge: Guess and Press

Fellow Bloggers: Your mission, if you so choose, is to (1) Read this list; (2) Figure out what number below is fiction; (3) Write in the comment area the number you think is fiction; (4) Copy and paste this introduction onto your blog; (5) Compose your own Fact of Fiction list on your blog; (6) Return here and in the comment section put a link to your list.

Fellow Non-Bloggers: Your mission, if you so choose, is to (1) Read this list; (2) Figure out what number below is fiction; (3) Write in the comment area the number you think is fiction; (4) Compose your own Fact of Fiction list of three or more things in the comment section below.

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Only the very brave or totally loopy do these sort of things you know.

I know which category I come in….Loppy Loopy Loopy.

Livin’ La Vida Loca

Oh… one more thing before I start.

Wonderfully Wired Fi, you know WAY TOO MUCH about me, don’t give it away.

Angel Minretrofit, that goes for you too my lovely friend.

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1. My only claim to fame is that my family, on my Mom’s side, are distant relatives of William Shakespeare. My Grandad’s cousin found this out while researching the family tree. I find this highly amusing as my spelling is awful and I didn’t learn to read properly until I was 26 years of age. Also, I can’t understand a word of anything Great Uncle Willy wrote. It makes absolutely no sense to me at all.

2. My family home as a child, was once demolished by a 10 ton cement mixer. This vehicle was parked up the hill opposite our house when the handbrake cable snapped. It hit the house with such force it went straight through the kitchen and into the living room. The house then collapsed on top of it. It affected 6 other homes that all had to be repaired. My Mom had planned to spend the day at home and I had been in my playpen in the front garden minutes before this happened. My Mom suddenly felt very sick and decided to take me to go visit her Mom. We then spent 18 months living at my Nan’s where my Dad covered all sharp corners with sponge and bubble wrap because I was hyper active and he thought I’d gouge an eye out on my Nan’s furniture.

3. I once hatched a chicken personally while getting on with my gardening. The mother hen had a habit of stealing the other hens eggs and she had gotten fed up of waiting for this one. I hatched him by keeping the egg in my bra, so you could say, it was on my heart for him to live. I was the first thing he saw and he thought I was his Mommy. I called him Dude and he loved to sit on my shoulder like a pirates parrot.

4. At school I once decided (out of pure naughtiness) to empty out all the fluid in the pickled animal jars in the Biology lab. I hated seeing pickled animals every week and I was having nightmares about them. I filled the jars back up with water so no one would know. I knew they would rot away and the teacher would have to get rid of them. It took a while for the staff to figure it out and they closed the labs for a while because they thought there might be a gas leak because of the smell.

5. I once broke a guys heart by dumping him because he had to have 7 fillings. I was very young at the time and he kept talking about having a daughter and calling her Melissa. This was a combination of my name and his. He totally freaked me out. He wouldn’t take no for an answer and I wasn’t good with words and worried I would really hurt him. so I hid out at my Nan’s for 2 weeks and let my Mom deal with him.

6. I met my husband in a religious sect, I had no intension of ever marrying again and only considered it because my disciplers kept telling me I was a militant single mom. I wrote out a list of all potential husband/father material. Prayed about it and waited to see who God pointed out. It was when Mr Locoman loving took off my 4 year olds shoe and wiped the dog poo of it that I knew he was the one. (I’m so romantic, I know)

7. Some of my favourite things to do cost nothing at all here is a few of them: Jumping in muddy puddles, scooting on shopping trolleys, going to the park on my own and swinging so high I feel sick. Singing my head off in multi storey car parks (LOVE the acoustics) usually songs from the sound of music, I even dance sometimes, GOSH I love Julie Andrews. Going to a really boring church and jigging to the hymns and clicking my fingers. At the cinema I like to shout out “Play da movie ya” in a terrible mimicked accent just to embarrass my Auntie (I got it from Shrek) and I love to giggle till I’m in pain, or wetting myself, usually at my own silliness.

8. I once had a job as a kitchen assistant in a restaurant of a warehouse. I loved this job because I was really hard up at the time and I got to eat all the kitchen scraps. This meant I didn’t have to buy food for me and I could just buy what my baby boy needed. It enabled me to live in my house another 7 month before becoming homeless. After that I kept tins and a tin opener in the boot of my car and lived off processed food unless kind people chose to feed me.

9. I was once taken on one of those team building days with the people on a course I was doing. I must have had a shutdown or something when the tutor was explaining it because I hadn’t got a clue where we were going, or what we were doing. Never the less I had a WONDERFUL time releasing my inner monkey climbing 100ft up a wooden wall wearing sandals and a pair of shorts. Also swinging like crazy on a bungee swing. This was only 3 years ago and I’d do it again in a heartbeat.

10. I very often will exhibit my art work in a gallery close to my home. I love spending time there and meeting other artists. We have such a lot in common and will talk of our inspiration, about the hidden depths that go on within the paint. I love the parties they throw and meeting their spouses. I get so inspired hearing about all the emotions attached to each painting. I think that for me to be able to communicate my special interest is so wonderful. I would just love to work in the arts.

Missing Jigsaws & Excess Lego

Image from Google

Hello my lovely Bloggy friends,

A sturdy cardboard box, covered with retro funky 70′s orange floral wallpaper. Can you visualise that? I can still see it in my mind 33 years later!

Inside this box is a collection of lost and missing pieces from games, jigsaws, Lego sets. Action mans missing boot and Cindy’s lost tiara. Not to mention a few marbles, ball bearings, coloured pencils and even a few toy soldiers.

Yes, it is the lost and found and I can’t be bothered to go and sort these things out right now. I’m a very busy young Mom and I have FAR TOO much to do looking after these hyperactive kids and my moody hubby….I loved my Mom SO VERY MUCH! Thinking of her makes me smile!

My Dad built an extension on our home

We called it the playroom and it was filled with all of our toys. It was lovely in the summer, it had a terracotta tiled floor and the door opened onto the back garden. Our black Labrador (RAF) would go in and out as he pleased, following my beloved ginger tom cat Sammy. In the winter though our playroom was absolutely freezing, so me and my brother would grab a box of toys…actually we’d grab a few boxes of toys, and bring them into the living room.

The contents would then get emptied out ALL OVER the living room floor and we would play quite happily or fight over things. Mom would find all our bits under the furniture when she vacuumed. Sometimes she’d find them down the sides of the furniture, under the rug and even behind the telly if we’d been throwing things at each other. She’d then put our bits in the box.

Two Aspie kids playing our own games

As we got older my little brother became even more disorganised and I became the bossy little organiser. He would use books to build ramps for his wind-up Evel Knievel and he’d mess up the playroom something terrible. He’d mess it up SO badly that I just couldn’t cope with it actually. My bedroom became my safe place, a place of calm and order. I kept my special toys in my bedroom where I knew they wouldn’t get hurt. Notice I say *hurt* and not broken. I’ll write a post about that another time.

http://www.facebook.com/SpreadingPositivity

Thinking out side of the box

I knew that if any of my toys, puzzle pieces, bricks or bits from the Lego models were missing they would be in the box. It was just a case of going and mooching through. There was always the risk of Mom saying, “Now you’re in the box you can put things were they should be!”

I didn’t realise that this method of lost and found, find and sort was something I was STILL using until a few days ago. My computer was returned and it had been rebuilt with EVERYTHING completely wiped off. Have you ever seen a grown Aspie burst into tears because her collections and projects have all disappeared. You get the picture, I went into shutdown.

I am extremely visual and I love to collect

I had so many files of images, links and quotes that I enjoyed and could recall when I had filtered through my mix up of thoughts and loops. I had slide shows I could put on of Art I had collected. Old photos I had scanned and could find in seconds to help me with processing memories. I had 100′s of fractals I had made, 3D designer projects and landscaping I had created. Also my SPORE progress was lost, I was on the last level and I really liked the world I had created there.

Over the last few days I have avoided writing

I’ve not really been able to cope with sitting at my desk. I’ve just been doing stuff from my mobile and my netbook. I know how ridiculous this will sound to some people. Those who understand the difficulties Aspies/Auties have will totally understand where I am coming from. My computer is like a friend to me, now I’m having to work at getting to know it again. I don’t cope well with change and I’m really not good with loss.

I have been thinking a lot of a post I read about Lego

A LEGO Life by my Bloggy friend Richard at “Where Living Begins”

I read this post 2 days before my computer was returned and it made me really think about my life. It’s still making me think actually! The scripture Richard added was this…

To everything there is a season, a time for every purpose under Heaven:a time to break down, and a time to build up

(Ecclesiastes 3:1, 3).

Richard’s post is excellent, I love how he sees God in the everyday things. This post helped me to start putting my pieces back together. I don’t know what I’m building yet, as always the instructions have not been included, so I’m making it up as I go along. It’s an exciting adventure though. I trust God with this, He always provides what I need. I might not understand His ways but I can lean on His promises and accept His unconditional love.

I started a blog for my collecting

I didn’t intend to tell anyone about it, it is just storage really. But last night one of my subscribers from Alienhippy accidently found it and subscribed. Those who know me REALLY well know that when things happen like this, I see God-incidences. My storage and collecting blog is like my Mom’s retro box full of bits n bobs. I don’t know half the time why I collect what I collect, but I like to be able to find things easily when my thoughts start making tangent jumps and pulling together parts and pieces to help me move forward. To help me understand who I am in time and space. To help me make sense of the past and it’s pains. To help me share my journey and whatever else I feel God wants me to share.

Here is the link

Missing Jigsaws & Excess Lego

You can read more about this on my about pages.

Love and hugs.

Lisa. xx

Collection of my Aspie thoughts today

http://www.facebook.com/poemsquotes

Hello my lovely Bloggy friends,

It’s NO secret that I am not particularly fond of foxes. Now I don’t wish them any harm, they need to survive I understand that, I just REALLY miss my chickens. Today however I cuddled on the sofa with my girl and watch story time and the story was called, The Fox in the Dark, by Alison Green. It was this story of a Mommy fox that pulled some of my Aspie tangent thinking together.

I found this quote on fb      ———>

Those who know me personally know how I love quotes, images, and scriptures.

Those of you who are added to my fb see them most days when I get my coffee/quote time.

I love to share what I find, it brings me a joy to know that something I find, that helps me, may also help someone else too.

I have had a nasty cold all week this week

My little *CAL has caught it too and we haven’t done a lot today but spend time together resting, we have watched a film and a bit of TV. One of *CAL’s Goldfish (Roger) died yesterday so she is not too happy at the moment. Also because she is not well she has missed the fun day at school helping her best friend with a stall to raise money for “Children in Need.” <——–Link

I read a post today on a blog I follow

I read it from my mobile while me and *CAL were having our movie time.

Here is the link… The Chase

This post made me ponder on the simple questions

Are you chasing Him? What are you seeing? What are you seeking?

I’m an Aspie Mom with Aspie kids

This is where Story time brought it all together for me. I have so many thoughts that I ponder on, I find taking the time to be still and rest will always pull them together, and God finds the strangest things to pull my loops together.

Here is a link to the story that me and *CAL watched.

It’s a lovely story and quite short please watch it if you have time.

The Fox in the Dark, by Alison Green, read by Josie Lawrence.

Yes I know it’s a kids story book but Jesus did say those who have ears let them hear.

God reaches us where we are at, and I’m still a big kid!

As Moms with kids on the spectrum

I feel we learn to protect constantly, our kids are vulnerable and misunderstood by many. The things we talk about most people are not interested in and the difficulties we have to cope with daily only other ASD parents can possibly understand.

I’m also Aspie so I have lived with the social isolation and being misunderstood by others, also me misunderstanding others all my life. I learned to conform, to act, to NOT stand out, just fit, because rejection hurt so very much! I learned that who I am is never appreciated so it is best to stay hidden. Seeing my kids getting hurt and being misunderstood hurts so very deeply. Watching them conform and lose parts of who they are breaks my heart.

Back to the fox and my tangent

I dislike foxes because they hurt something I loved, they took it from me. A lot of the time I think us ASD Moms feel this way about Autism. I know in my life I have constantly prayed to be accepted and have friends who love and accept me for who I am. I believe it’s not the Autism that is the difficulty but unaccepting people who push for conformity and set unrealistic goals for those on the spectrum to reach, in a time limit that society pushes down our throats. Unconditional love and acceptance for who we are is really all any of us need.

In the story of the Fox in the Dark

The Mommy fox is looking for her baby who is lost in the dark. All the other animals are afraid of the fox because they have their own understanding. They are judging this fox on what they know of foxes.

Isn’t this so true about Autism too?

I have heard these words so many times, “She doesn’t look autistic!”

I’m reminded of a scripture

Luke 9:58  (NIV1984)

Jesus replied, “Foxes have holes and birds of the air have nests, but the Son of Man has no place to lay his head.”

And also another…

Acts 17:28 (GNT)

as someone has said, In him we live and move and exist.
It is as some of your poets have said, We too are his children.

http://www.facebook.com/poemsquotes

Wordless Wednesday

*CAL in the veggie garden with the giant pumpkins.

Winter will soon be here!

Literal thinking! (One of those moments)

Hello my lovely Bloggy friends,

Today we had a home visit from the Communication Autism Team (CAT)

The lady who came to meet with me was very nice.

I’m not going to write too much about it but I thought I’d share this because it made me giggle.

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CAT…”I noticed *CAL is VERY literal and rigid in her thinking, abstract concepts seem very hard for her to grasp.”

Me…”Oh I’m SO glad you’ve noticed that! It doesn’t really come across in her lessons. I have been pointing it out since she was four years old.”

CAT…”I have worked with children on the spectrum for YEARS, but when I met with *CAL she said something I have NEVER heard before.”

Me…”Ok…tell me, we’ve thought of writing a book of them!”

CAT…”I asked *CAL about the food she likes and dislikes. I asked *CAL what her least favourite food was and she said Watermelon!”

The lady from CAT then giggles to herself and tells me she should know better really, it was totally her fault. Then she tells me what was said.

CAT…”Oh, Watermelon *CAL, you don’t like Watermelon? Watermelon is VERY nice when it is hot!”

(*CAL…Looks at her like she is from another planet and then says.)

“HOT…hot Watermelon! I didn’t realise you could cook it!”

Giggle, giggle…Wordless Wednesday!

My little Nephew *EJ saw this sleeping Parrot and said,

“His head has fell off, where his head gone Auntie Weesa?”

Then he got quite upset because he couldn’t see it on the floor.

I just had to add this short video of one of my favourite toys as a kid.

Me, my brother and my sis all still mimic this doll.

I wonder if my Dad still has her in the loft somewhere?

She wasn’t played with long enough on this video.

She didn’t say my favourite phrase!

So… I got the Parrot to say it! xx

I’ve been driving in my car…having another babble!

Hello my lovely Bloggy friends,

You’ve probably noticed I’ve been a bit quiet.

It’s a little unusual for me to be quiet I know,  I’m usually babbling my brain out trying to understand myself and my many, many loops. Over the past week I have been going into shutdown quite a lot and it’s taken me a while to figure out why.

I remember the constant “why?”

It still loops inside my brain. I learnt NOT to say it out loud, but it never went away.

I have a NEED to know why things are the way they are?

What makes them work the way they do?

I have a NEED to know why people act the way they act?

What makes them behave in the way that they do?

Things are quite easy, people are unpredictable

I have realised that because of not really being able to understand facial expressions, body language, being a literal thinker, also a Kinaesthetic learner AND dyslexic, I have struggled to accept and stop asking the why! Not being able to comprehend a lot of what I read does not help. I rely on experience and learn from mistakes, I have trusted that people are telling me the truth, and I have got very hurt with this. It has taken its toll in my 42 years on this planet.

It’s all in my head now.

I realise that the things that I need to talk about and the depth of conversation I need can only be met by very few people. These people are very patient, they love me, accept me and don’t want me to be anyone but me. They don’t try to fix me, cure me or change me either.

These few people understand that I need to feel safe to be able to share who I am.

Having special interests

Special interests are wonderful they give Aspies the confidence to talk, but we talk a lot about the things we love and not many people have the patience to want us around. I have spent most of my life isolating myself when I really need to talk and someone to just listen.

Writing it out and sharing my mix up of emotion and expression in the best I can, helps me to understand myself and then that helps me to understand others.

I think constant isolation caused me fear

I have a massive fear of loss, abandonment and rejection. I am now trying to work through this and understand the irrational fears I have.

I spent my day yesterday in my safe place, in my car, with my music, driving around the country side.

I see my car as my adult ATARI replacement, the down time I got playing video games, the way they stopped me stressing and the way they changed my focus. This all happens in a similar way when I drive, sing, play LOUD music and chat with God.

Even though I was alone, I kept on talking.

I prayed it out, I chatted to the imaginary friend I had as a child and I kept in touch with my lovely friend through my WONDERFUL BlackBerry.

Here are some photos I took on my drive around.

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Just because I’m being me, I had to add a blast from my past.

A classic kind of funny!

Hello my lovely Bloggy friends,

Today I decided to go and buy myself a couple of pairs of Jeans. *AJ had gone off to the gym and Mr Locoman had got a few things he wanted to do in the garden in between rain showers. My little *CAL decided to stay with Daddy; she’s NOT one for shopping much…not unless there is the promise of a McFlurry afterwards.

Off I go on my own

I do enjoy that time alone in the car; I get to play the music I enjoy.

I do like Pixie Lott and JLS just NOT all the time that’s all…hehehe

The shopping was the usual

Go in, get what I need and get out quick. This is the best sort of shopping I do.

I did see a pair of boots I REALLY want, and a little Jacket I will have to save for.

Two pairs of Jeans one pair in black, one pair in grey paid for and I’m out the shop pronto.

Then the heavens open

As soon as I got into my car the rain came down so heavy.

I thought to myself, I’m not driving in this, it’s too dangerous,

I’ll mess on my BlackBerry for a bit until it slows down.

So I’m sat in my car emailing my friends

Sending photos of the things I want and can’t afford, I know I’m sad aren’t I.

Anyways…

This couple, with Mom, come running out of the store and straight to the Blue Jaguar that is parked up in front of me.

They were in their late 50’s and the Mom was about 80 years old.

None of them had coats on or umbrellas, poor things.

The guy goes to the driver’s side and gets out his keys and starts pushing the alarm button but nothing happens.

His wife shouts over, “Hurry up we are getting soaked here!”

So he tries again, still nothing is happening.

He then stats to push at the key madly and a bit erratically.

I’m sitting watching, finding it all highly amusing.

I have my phone in my hand and I’m so tempted to start videoing this.

But… as I once got shouted at for attempting to take a photo of a massive beefy jogger.

He was jogging with his sausage dog it was extremely funny.

I thought I’d better not risk getting shouted at again.

This key business goes on for about 5 minutes

The wife and mother are now getting a little fed up and look like a pair of drowned rats.

The guy then puts the key in the door. He starts wangling it about. Still nothing.

Now I’m thinking, maybe I SHOULD video this…they are funny looking car thieves though.

He decides to try the other door

The guy walks around to the passenger side where his wife and mother in law are standing.

He is also now soaking wet and looking utterly bedraggled and quite bewildered.

He tries the key in the passenger door. No, it still doesn’t work.

They all look at each other completely puzzled by all of this.

He points the key at the car and tries again with the alarm button.

Plip Plip!

All three soaking wet people turn around and look at the identical blue Jaguar two cars down…LOL

I cracked up…I mean I TOTALLY TOTALLY CRACKED UP!!!!!!

The tears were rolling down my face, it’s a real belly giggle, once I start I can’t stop.

(Ask anyone who knows me, I go BRIGHT red and become quite a giggling mess)

Luckily they were nice people

They too saw the funny side of it and were in fits of giggles.

The elderly lady

She’s doubled over and crossing her legs trying to stop herself from piddling her knickers.

I opened my window and said to them

“That was classic funny! Thank you for the giggle.

I so wish I had it on video, I bet I could of got £250 for that off one of those shows.”

The guy was in hysterics he said,

“I can’t bloody believe it; it’s even got the same wheels and an identical magic tree air freshener.”

Don’t you just love it when you see a classic funny,

and meet people who laugh with life?