Let it be……

*AJ’s first day at school (Nervous Mommy)

YAY…No school till September

*AJ finished college a few weeks back and has got into his own happy *AJ routine. He is playing his guitar again and singing more. He is cooking for himself and this week I have been taking him out driving. He started his driving lessons just after he finished his A levels and now is at the stage where he can drive a car but just needs practise. We have been out driving an hour a day each day this week. He has most of his manoeuvres covered and tomorrow he sits his theory test. Two of his friends are also sitting theirs and they have all planned to open their results together in a nice pub in our city centre.

 

This morning was *CAL’s school leavers assembly

*AJ and my Auntie came along with me to watch it. All the children performed beautifully and were a credit to the school. It was odd for *AJ being back in his old primary school after 7 years. One of the TA’s said, “Oh my, it’s little *AJ and he’s not little anymore.” He seemed a little bit embarrassed by this. He spent some time chatting with the headmaster about what he has been studying and what he has planned. My baby boy no longer a baby but planning his future career.

*CAL sang beautifully and smiled throughout the whole assembly

They sang many songs by The Beatles and I couldn’t help but think how much my lovely Mom would have enjoyed being there. My Mom LOVED the Beatles. I think God had a hand in the choice of songs, so very special it was. I thought about Mom sitting on her deck chair at school sports days when *AJ was little. She always brought her deck chair with her because the tiny little school seats would always sink into the lawn and make it difficult for her to get back up. She died the year *CAL started school and each school assembly and Christmas event have all carried a sting for me. Mom was a very active and loving Nanny always wanting to be around her kids and grandchildren.

I took many photos of *CAL with her school friends

I love seeing my kids with their friends, seeing them smile and giggle it just melts my heart. It seems so odd to think that after fourteen years of taking my children to and from this school I will no longer have that routine. I know we have a new routine to get into once September comes and I really don’t want to think about it just yet. Also I am not looking forward to the cost of all *CAL’s new school uniform and everything *AJ is going to be needing for university.

It’s also a very exciting time because I see they are growing

They are becoming their own people and they are so very perfect in my eyes. I’m not saying they are little Angels just that they are good kids who take life one day at a time and treat people with the respect and kindness that a lot of kids their age forget about. Both of them are so very accepting and loving and I am mega proud to be their Mom.

One thing I can see after 19 days of everyday blogging

My most inspiring part of the day is the first three hours after waking. I have so many words and thoughts that make total sense at that time of the day. After being around people I notice my thoughts disappear and my head fills up with the visual blasts of everything I experience.

Both my kids sleep in, they like to have a lie in now

There was a time when I was up 4-5am chasing *AJ around the garden in my Jim-Jams because he decided to get himself up and go collect bugs naked. (Well he was wearing his little blue welly boots, does that count as naked still?)

Also times where I was up in the middle of the night watching repetitive episodes of Dora the Explorer. *CAL mimicked Dora and spoke Spanish when she spoke no English at all. She knew all the tunes and would wake up singing them and not go back to sleep without having her back rubbed for hours on end. It was just easier to get up and watch Dora until she fell asleep in her little pink chair and me on the sofa feeling half dead. It wasn’t easy, *AJ was ten years old and *CAL was three, I had nonstop Pokemon by day and Dora by night. I wouldn’t change it though and at least now I know why it seemed like everyone else was doing it right and I couldn’t seem to find a way to get things to work.

Can I be disciplined I ask myself?

I see no reason why early morning during the holidays I can’t devote a little more time to me. To finding me before the house gets busy. Listening and recording my filtered process after the calmness that sleep brings. Before the sensory bombardments of the outside world fill up my mind and steal my inspiration.

I have quite a few ideas I have collected but can’t seem to find my muse if you like. I know I need to pray about it and wait on God. But also I need to not force myself to write when I have nothing in me to express. I just need to be honest with myself and accept who I am and how I roll. Sometimes I just need to let it be……

Love and hugs. xx :)

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6 thoughts on “Let it be……

  1. What a fabulous post! Did caffeine help? :-) One of my favorite songs! Can’t wait to see what has been hanging around in your lovely mind waiting to come out!

    Love you bunches!
    Angel

    • Hello my lovely Angel, I’m glad you enjoyed my post. Caffeine helps to stimulate my mind but I can see now that the coming down brings me frantic, obsessive and even paranoid thoughts. So glad I can see this now.
      Lots of changes going on later for you and for me, praying for all you have on.
      Missing you, love you so very much. xxx :) xxx

  2. Oh, great how you processed all of this!!! My kids finally sleep, too. Although they are night owls. Midnight the last few weeks. I used to be up with oldest with his asthma attacks watching Barney. And my middle guy (ASD) up every few hours……seems a lifetime ago now. I liked this post….a glimpse of your day, your thoughts, and what is ahead. Nice balance. Much love to you ~ Sam

    • Thank you my lovely friend, I can so see you being up watching Barney. :)
      Did you dance with him too? You are such a lovely friend, I’m so glad God brought you into my life. Love you so very much. xxx :) <3

  3. Lovely post. I love my Family and am very proud that everyone of them has their own individuality, when we live in a World where we are conditioned to be and act the same. This is so refreshing. Paul wrote this song about his Mom Mary who died when he was young xxxx

  4. Pingback: I like lists, I learn from lists | Missing Jigsaws & Excess Lego

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