Once upon a time in a land far away lived a princess. This little princess loved to sing and dance and she dreamed the most amazing dreams. She lived with her head in the clouds and didn’t believe that bad things really happened. Until one day a little thing called life made her open her eyes and see the darkness that she feared so desperately. She looked long and hard and she saw that the darkness was actually living inside some people too.
In fear of what she suddenly saw, all of her dreams, all of her plans, all of her hopes now had to be hidden. She no longer danced her happy-dance and the songs from her heart she only sang while alone. She became a sad little princess, locked away in her tower. Afraid of the pain from all those crushed hopes. She would venture out into the land but only when wearing a mask. A mask she created from bits of thought and elements of loops that she had stored away in her mind.
Then one day her Prince turned up. He wasn’t on a magnificent charging white stallion, galloping his way through fire breathing dragons. No, He was on a donkey and heading for His last meal with His friends before being betrayed by one of them with a kiss. He wasn’t going to cut down the thorns growing around her heart which isolated her in her tower. But, He would wear a piercing crown of thorns, be humiliated and spat on then die on a wooden cross showing His love in self sacrifice.
She knew her Prince, she recognised His voice. The voice she remembered from the time she sang heart songs. He spoke gentle words of unconditional love and acceptance. He said to this crushed and broken princess, “In this world you will have trouble, but take heart I have overcome the world.” He promised He would always be there, she would never be alone again and He gave her back her hope. He replaced her happy-dance, He opened up her heart so she could love again. Now that little princess is learning to be herself. Who she is created to be, fearfully and wonderfully made.
This is my story, this is my song, praising my saviour all the day long.
A break from my fairy tale.
I have been thinking on this post for a week now, I had a shutdown after reading a post on positive thought, who’d have guessed? It was far too challenging for me, I don’t think it was meant to be. I’ll share why.
This is part of my Journal entry.
Today I read something that really challenged me.
The post said to visualise where you see yourself in fifteen years time. Then only bring into your life experiences that reinforce that plan. My first thought was, I hope I’m still alive in fifteen years time. The early deaths in my family have made me feel it will happen to me too. So I don’t really make any plans for me. I prepare my kids for life and try to find answers for my future Grandchildren, just in case any of them are like me. I didn’t realise I was doing this but I do really need to think about why and how to change it. It’s not healthy thinking.
I think one of the reasons why I am constantly telling people how I feel about them is because I want them to know how important they are to me in case I die. I know that me telling people I love them makes some people feel uncomfortable but I really don’t need them to say anything back. I just feel the need to tell them they are special, we are all special, we are all unique.
So…how do I see myself in 15 years?
1. I like the idea of being healthy and being able to walk.
2. I like the idea of being peaceful and having healthy deep friendships.
3. I like the idea of still being in love with my husband and having a nice, peaceful, cosy home.
4. I like the idea of being a cool Grandma who has her Grandchildren for weekends.
5. I like the idea of travelling around the world and meeting my friends.
So this is my princess plan,
Anything that is not really me, after praying and seeking advice. If it does not balance in who I want to be, it doesn’t need to be added to my experience of life. I had stopped making plans because the plans I made had been destroyed by other people. Or I found that I was living another persons plans and making them mine in a hope of acceptance. I know we can never really plan what life has in store, but what I was doing gave me no hope at all. I am only 42 years of age, my mind has been refreshed. Yes, life is fragile and we need to live each day, we need to enjoy each day to the full. Having hope in our tomorrows and sharing the love we have to give.
The post I read helped me so very much,
Because from my shutdown I Listened through the Loops and found my peace.