Colander hat invention

Hello my lovely Bloggy friends,

Image from Google

“Wash the plate not because it’s dirty nor because you’re told to wash it, but because you love the person who’ll use it next.”

~ Mother Teresa

I was thinking on this quote today while washing up at the kitchen sink. I was also thinking of how Jesus came as a servant. I was pondering on the difference between deeds done in love and deeds done in service or duty. Just a few thoughts to wrestle with and what I came up with is it’s a heart thing. An understanding of being loved so a want and a need to give love also. This is hard if we have never felt loved or accepted for who we are.

I bought a new colander not long ago

It’s an old fashioned stainless steel one. I wasn’t really using it but I have recently had a kitchen clear out and it’s getting used now. I lifted the colander out of the sink and watched the soapy water trickle through the holes, I did this a few times and smiled as it brought back a memory.

Bath time screaming…oh my, did I scream at bath time!

Like a lot of Autistic kids I had a terrible fear of water going in my eyes, down my ears, up my nose and dripping down my face. My Dad was the only one who I would let wash my hair. He invented for me the colander hat.

This would be strapped, right side up, on my head and I held a flannel over my eyes while keeping my fingers in my ears. Then my Dad poured water into the colander with a jug to rinse the shampoo off. I know it sounds bizarre but with Autistic kids parents do what is needed to get the job done. I’m one of a kind really! Love me or don’t!

I believe now that my Dad invented this hat out of total love for his little girl because he is also Autistic. He would have remembered that fear, he would have remembered the sensory confusion. The strange feel of water creeping and moving on the sensitive parts of his face. Both my kids have been the same and I have known to use the shower to wash the soap off their heads, keeping well clear of their faces. In the 70’s though we only had a bath, showers were not fitted in tiny little UK town houses.

Putting people in moulds

I have recently written quite a lot about people having expectations and judging others on the idea they have of who/how/what a person should be. It is something I have been working through personally and will probably always be praying about and aware of in myself and others.

As a teen, in my 20’s, 30’s and right up to now I have done this with my Dad. When my Mom died I wanted him to be the Dad that I wanted him to be. I missed my Mom so desperately, I still do, I wanted him to make me feel better. I haven’t always seen that he is hurting too. I also struggle to accept his Autism and how it affects him. I accept my kids traits because I love them unconditionally, but I have had unrealistic expectations of my Dad that he can never fulfil.

My Dad has always been an inventor

Our kids call him Grandad Fixit. He’s a fixer, a builder and a carpenter by trade. He always smelt of wood when I was a kid. He worked for 40 years making coffins and he provided a home and an income for his wife and 3 kids. No one he worked with ever talked to him, he lacks social skills and can’t communicate well at all. Those he worked with teased him for this. My Dad has an identical twin so he wasn’t alone, he has always worked with his brother, they have been together and suffered this ridicule all their lives. Both at school and in every job they have had.

My Dad and my Uncle *What* (I call him that because he could never understand me as a child) sit together every day for their tea break and listened to the other guys laughing at them for being odd. It breaks my heart now when he tells me the things they say and he can’t defend himself.

I have felt hurt by my Dad most of my life

Not because he has meant to hurt me, I know he loves me. It’s because I was putting him in a mould of who/how/what I thought he should be as my Dad. I think I’m starting to understand this now.

God’s love is not a love of conditions, we serve not out of duty but because we love. We love because He first loved us and accepted us for who we are, as we are, with no conditions. Unconditional love that is freely given that God wants FOR us to accept and receive.

His forgiveness….grace and mercy.

Daddy loves me, he made a bath time hat to help me with my fears.

My Heavenly Father gave His Son, His love wipes away my tears.

2 Corinthians 5:13-21

New International Version 1984

If we are out of our mind, it is for the sake of God; if we are in our right mind, it is for you. For Christ’s love compels us, because we are convinced that one died for all, and therefore all died. And he died for all, that those who live should no longer live for themselves but for him who died for them and was raised again.

So from now on we regard no one from a worldly point of view. Though we once regarded Christ in this way, we do so no longer. Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come! All this is from God, who reconciled us to himself through Christ and gave us the ministry of reconciliation: that God was reconciling the world to himself in Christ, not counting men’s sins against them. And he has committed to us the message of reconciliation. We are therefore Christ’s ambassadors, as though God were making his appeal through us. We implore you on Christ’s behalf: Be reconciled to God. God made him who had no sin to be sin for us, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God.

This is the song I was listening to while washing up.

JJ Heller, Keep you safe.

Image from Google

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7 thoughts on “Colander hat invention

  1. Hello lovely Lisa,
    This post sure brought up a lot of feelings for me. I’m glad you can see your Dad’s love for you. It gives me hope my kids can see mine for them in spite of whatever shortcomings I may have had. And I am reminded of my Dad, who died many years ago. When I was a preschooler, I thought he was brave enough to face lions for me. I would imagine a lion under my bed at night and call out to him. He would come into my room and check under the bed and assure me there was no lion under there. :) I could then fall asleep again. He never complained.
    And the video brought tears to my eyes. It’s a promise we parents would all like to keep. But due to human frailty, illness, and ageing, we can’t do it alone.
    Thanks for this post, and for working to make this planet a better place.
    Love and hugs and blessings,
    Bruce :)

    • Hi there lovely Bruce,
      Always praying for you and yours my friend.
      Glad my babbling helped you, sharing really helps me to process and find healing.
      Thank you for your prayers.
      Love and hugs.
      Lisa. xx :)

    • Hi granny1947,
      Thank you, I really enjoyed having a look around your blog.
      I found you on Tilly’s blogroll.

      I think my Autism and my faith help me to see things differently.
      Aspergers Syndrome to me means I see detail but with the bigger picture I can be totally lost and really struggle to fit in, or understand simple instructions.
      Communication is quite hard but through my wonderful computer writing helps me to connect.
      Thank you for visiting, hope you come back.
      I use a lot of quotes, I love quotes. :)
      Love and hugs.
      Lisa. xx :)

  2. Hi Lisa
    you have a lot to deal with .your own condition ,plus the family members that you love .
    how you do it I’ll never know . I think you are amazing to be able to cope as well as you do .
    keep up the good work
    god bless you
    hugs
    Eileen

    • Thanks Eileen,
      I don’t really know any other way of life, being Aspie is how I’ve always been.
      I didn’t realise that other people weren’t like me.
      My relationship with God is what gets me through, without Jesus I wouldn’t cope.
      Love and hugs.
      Lisa. xx :)

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