Between the two of them they have worked out, that with my dyslexic and aspie tendencies, I find it impossible to read anything if there is any form of disturbance around me.
I mean any form of disturbance, it could just be someone standing watching me read…believe it or not.
This is really annoying and I intend to move my computer out of this room and into the conservatory as soon as I can. This room has too many doors in it, and sees too much traffic.
As I was trying to read my favourite blogs yesterday my little *CAL had the sudden urge to play Club Penguin.
*AJ was close by and with a glint in his eye said, “*CAL… I know how to stop her reading!”
Unfortunately, YES….he does!… I get SO annoyed with him with this…..( I say with a smile and grind my teeth) Eeerrgghh
God has such a sense of humour ……..very, very funny, God…….lmho
*AJ has created, what I now refer to as his…. “NOM, NOM SONG.”
He walks around the room strumming chords on his guitar and inventing rhyme about what food he would like me to go and cook…..He is very cheeky this way, and I find it SO distracting….. I end up losing my rag.
Well….NOW… he has got *CAL at it.
Club Penguin was her motivation, her natural ability to string words together in the form of poetry, teamed up with my *AJ’s cheekiness and love of singing…took them off into another room where they wrote me a song.
Mommy…Please get off the computer!
Chorus…Mommy get off computer! computer! computer! (x2)
Verse 1.
(It started with YoVille) and now it’s a blog!
(She won’t get off email) she’s making a vlog!
(She’s playing some Pac-man) she won’t feed the dog!
(She’s writing a poem) is that an animated frog?
Chorus…Mommy get off computer! computer! computer! (x2)
Verse 2.
(She’s shootin’ the “ASTROIDS”) she’s laughing out loud!
(She don’t go on Facebook) she’s in the blog crowd!
(She thinks we’re autistic) but no we’re artistic!
WE PLAY WITH LINGUISTICS!
THAT’S MY CHARACTERISTIC!
So Get Off….. The Computer.
Jazz-Hands….to finish
I found this highly hilarious and I’m SO glad I filmed them…..lmho
Yes….I was kicked off the computer for the evening. Club Penguin was then zoned into, and…….. I’m going to save up for another computer for this little house, or at least a laptop.
And just to get my own back, the video of them singing this to me, for the first time.
In fact he can be obsessed with it, his whole family is. My first experience of this was way back in January 1998 when he first took me to meet his parents….. (on the posh side of our city)
His family home is brimmed with railway memorabilia and their back garden has a model railway with village, viaduct and repairs shed. This is open to the public on occasion. His Father as even had DVD’s published of Railways through the years…. (I felt slightly out my depth, but they ARE lovely people)
I found this all very exciting and quite fascinating when we first got married, it was all very new and little*AJ… (as I had been married before) was only 5 and he loved “Thomas and Friends” he just loved all things on rails.
As the years went on the chat of the railway and other forms of transport started to bore me to tears…… (not my hubby I must say)
Meeting up and chatting Railway became so depressing. I had to device plans how to get out of it, as my brain would shutdown or meltdown with annoyance… (I just can’t put it any other way…lol)
I would find my eyes glazing over…..and my brain would just go off somewhere else. (Somewhere more interesting)
Or…… I would get all agitated inside and need to leave….IMMEDIATELY !!!!
As no-one had any understanding of my Aspie ways back then…INCLUDING MYSELF, this must have seemed very rude.
Well 12 years on and train chat still drive me mental. The constant DVD’s of train noises with the monotonous drone of the DVD presenters makes me cringe.
However…one train I do love!
We go on it as a family (all 4 of us) every year. The Santa Express. This is a wonderful adventure on a Steam train. We drink Mulled wine, eat mince pies and roasted chestnuts. Then get to see Santa at the other end…..I just love it…..it’s SO magical.
Today as I prayed and spent time with God, He revealed many things. One of them being my stubborn and selfish attitude, towards my husband’s one true interest. I realised that it wasn’t the trains or the transport that were the problem. It was my own insecurity, around people, in an environment where he was happy and I was not.
I write this blog to help me understand about my differences in the hope of acceptance, and all the time I am being a hypocrite. I now realise that acceptance goes both ways and it’s time for me to change.
It is not the experience of trains that is the problem it is my social difficulty with people, as I am very limited in what I can talk about. I actually really love my in-laws Railway layout, it is wonderful, and a lot of love has gone into its creation.
I just don’t enjoy listening to everyone talking about it….LOL
So… as I am very visual I decided to post some lovely photos of Trains, Buses and Model Railways, that my hubby (Mr Locoman) has taken.
And say “SORRY LOVE… I threw the baby out with the bath water.”
Shall I book the Santa Express??? Or the Hogwarts???
13People were bringing little children to Jesus to have him touch them, but the disciples rebuked them. 14When Jesus saw this, he was indignant. He said to them, “Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of God belongs to such as these. 15I tell you the truth, anyone who will not receive the kingdom of God like a little child will never enter it.” 16And he took the children in his arms, put his hands on them and blessed them.
Hi, I was wondering and I hope you don’t mind me asking your advice.
Little ME
How do I switch off to people who don’t accept me?
I’m feeling very hurt by some people at the moment, and I don’t know how to stop myself from thinking about this.
Some are embarrassed by me talking about Aspergers and it being SO obvious in those around me. I know it’s just ignorance and denial but it hurts my feelings that they are telling me what to do.
I will not give up my blog, and I will not pretend to be “normal” any more. So, they are giving me the cold shoulder.
My blog has helped me so much, I feel accepted and happy with who I am for the first time in my life. But I love these people and I hate that I am making them unhappy.
Part of me feels that If they really loved me, then they would accept me, and be happy that I am happy.
I know it is a shock for them to finally meet the real me. After all I have never allowed myself to “BE” before, but I have always “BEEN”, I was just locked inside.
I’m sorry to ask you and I’m sorry for dumping on you. It’s just that I am an extremely emotional person and I hate conflict. So I thought that maybe you might be able to help me with this.
Don’t worry if you have no answers it was just a thought.
This photo was taken at the time I started to realise that I was different. I remember being told to smile but I didn’t feel like smiling.
The teacher told me off and I tried my best to smile but I hated the camera and I felt sad.
My Nanny had just died and I didn’t know how to NOT feel sad.
I still don’t know how to NOT feel sad, when I care.
NOTE: Can I just add that those mentioned in my letter are not those I live with, my immediate family are all very supportive. I do not intend for this to hurt anyone it is just how I am feeling.
I am very interested in what spurs people on. I have many quotes in my head that help me through times when I find it hard to cope. I also have quotes that help me to relate to situations and people. It suddenly occurred to me that this maybe just another aspie thing as I am learning to understand my dyslexic/aspie ways. Realising that my brain is quite different in how it processes to most.
So I thought I would ask…..both ASD’s and NT’s this question, because I am trying my best to understand, so I can help my kids!
Here are a few of my quotes feel free to leave yours!
Oh yes, the past can hurt. But the way I see it, you can either run from it, or… learn from it…….(Rafiki: The Lion King 1)
Just keep swimming, just keep swimming, just keep swimming..swimming..swimming, What do we do? We swim! Dory in “Finding Nemo”…had to share this link because I sing it http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CmyUkm2qlhA
(Philippians 4:13) I can do everything through him who gives me strength…And lots and lots more from the Bible…it is my obsession.
Don’t worry be happy……yes another song, “Thank you Mom!”
The Magic Roundabout….too many quotes to quote, my favourite being,
“Dougal, Dougal…wakey, wakey….Dougal, if you don’t get up I’ll SPIT!!!”
“What, what… bang the life boat, ban the bomb, the dams burst, is my nightie on fire? Vote conservative…keep off the grass, what… what… what… what…?”
Yes….I don’t think I’ll go any further with that one….I’m making myself out to be quite mad.
I do realise that my quotes are very childlike. These are what help me, I suppose I am very childlike in many ways. However I am intelligent enough….yes I am! To understand that we are all different and have different needs.
So…..
Please leave me a comment my friends, I really am interested…. x
Oh yes… and anyone who can put the intelligent name to this, please do!
I’m terrible at remembering long words, unless I have made them up myself…..lol
This piece was created without me thinking. It has helped me to link into being a child, having no understanding of wrong in one’s self, or what I create.
As soon as I started to think about how to make this piece work, I stopped myself, walked away and came back when my head was empty again.
I knew this piece had to be fun and not thought about.
As a child I loved art, I still do. However we are told how to do ALL things correctly and mistakes are stigmatised.
I believe we all need to be who GOD MADE US TO BE and the best way of tapping into that is to look at who we were before understanding.
I found this type of Art relaxing yet confusing at the same time.
There are NO rules in media or style it is simply playtime.
Picasso once said this,
“All children are born artists, the problem is to remain an artist as we grow up.”
I now have to tell 7 facts about myself then pass it on to 7 more bloggers,
So here goes:
1) I am only 4’10″ tall, this is a real pain as I can only see the top of my head in most public mirrors, and when in a crowd I am surrounded by chests.
2) I have one Brother and one Sister. I am the oldest child. So I got told off the most.
3) I left school at 15 and worked as a Seamstress till I had *AJ. I now only sew if I have to, I hated that factory SO very much.
4) My 10 year old daughter’s feet are 2 sizes bigger than mine….lol
5) I have a special spoon to eat cereal and soup with. I cannot eat either without MY special spoon….I know, I’m weird….lmho
6) I collect Rubber Bouncy Balls, I just can’t help myself….there’s just something about them!
7) My favourite colour is Yellow, it is a happy colour, but I would never wear it.
And now, here are the 7 blogs I nominate (in alphabetical order ).
Let me WHACK 100 Golf balls……now I’m back to being CAL!
My little *CAL challenged herself to going to a children’s indoor play zone yesterday. She has never been good with these places. She hates heights, noise, smells, crowds and confusion and let’s just say these places present one big SLAP of that.
As it was her own decision, I thought I would go along with her choice to do this. I thought how brave of her to want to battle her fears, and prepared myself as I also find these places one big nightmare.
Let’s just say…..OMGOODNESS!!!!
How many people can they cram into one room?
Why do kids kick each other down slides?
Do they really have to have the music so loud, on top of all the noise already?
And… whatever possessed me to go on a Saturday?……What a Noodle!!!
I spoke to the lady about returning on a quieter day, then we popped to the loo to be screamed at by the hand-dryers.
Then….
We sat in the car and thought for a while….I could see that my girl was upset that she couldn’t cope with it all, even though she is 10 now. She told me she thought she would grow out of being frightened.
ok……What does an ASPIE-MOM do???
Well…. this is what I did!
I drove her to the Golf Range, paid for 100 golf balls…..and I watched her WHACK EM!
x
